I wake up to the usual sound of my mother barfing up last nights' drinks. She is the worst mother ever. Besides drinking, she beats the crap out of me whenever she can. Then I start to think about Dad. Why did he leave? He made Mom like this, he made her treat me badly, but he doesn't know. I have no way of trying to connect to him. All I know is that he pays the bills, and sends money for us to eat, and that's all. All I have left of him is a diary he gave me right before he walked out the door with his luggage. He said to me, "Don't worry princess, I'll be back, I will never leave you to think I don't care about you. I love you. I want you to take this book and write down everything that has happened from this day forward."
"Okay, Daddy," I replied.
I was 13 then, I knew he would come back, at least I thought he would. I did exactly as he said that day, wrote everyday. I'm surprised the book isn't full yet. He will come back, and he will take me away from my mother. I just had to leave her, she wasn't the mother I knew four years ago that would hug me every time I would cry. I would cry over the silliest things, and she would still take me in. I miss that mother. I let a tear escape my eye right before I peeked into the hallway, making sure it's clear to go to the restroom.
I darted across the hall making sure my mother didn't see me. If she did, it would be a morning beating, and I don't want one of those. I quickly wash my face, brush my teeth with just water, and put make up on. Why am I putting on make up? Not to look pretty, because it sure doesn't do that. I do it to hide my bruises from last night's beating. Its not hard to get hit around here. I get the make up from my best/only friend's sister, who works at Macy's. She gives me samples once they get a new product in. As soon as I'm done freshening up, I head to my room to get dressed.
I put on one of two shirts I own and one of four pairs of pants I own. Why do I have so little clothing? Because I'm poor. Both of my parents made loads of cash before they broke up, but that all went down hill when they did. My mother was an emotional wreck, she stayed out of work so long, she got fired. When I told her, she completely broke down in the middle of our old living room. Since money wasn't coming in any time soon, we had to move to a one bedroom apartment. My mother, being kind, gave me the bed room, and she slept on the couch. I would try to make her feel better, but nothing would work. Soon, she found herself drinking. I tried to tell her to stop, but she wouldn't listen. I remember the first time she hit me when she was drunk.
"Mom! I'm back from school," I didn't hear her answer so I went into the kitchen to see if she was in there. And sure enough she was.
"Come here, sweetie," she said. I obeyed her command. She was sitting in a chair with her head just moving in every direction.
"Yes?" I answered.
"Come give mommy a hug" I started walking towards her and I smelled alcohol. I soon began to back away now aware of her present condition.
"I said come here!" she was screaming now. Then she started to get up, holding on to the chair to hold her balance.
"Mom, you're drunk. I told you to stop drinking," I protested still backing away.
"I'm your mother and you will listen to me!" She came running towards me going every direction until she got to me. I wasn't scared, I thought she would never lay a finger on me. So, I stayed where I was. As soon as she got close to me, she slapped me. Hard. I cried, but she just hit me again until I was on the floor. Then she started to kick me furiously. I sat there curled in a ball until she got tired. As soon as she passed out I was in my room crying my eyes out. That's when I first got hit.
*End Of Flash Back*
I shudder at the memory that was now recorded in my diary detailed little by little. The beatings then started everyday, I was only 14. I grabbed my back pack and diary and sped out the door before my mother could get to me. I take the elevator to the ground floor to see my best/only friend in the lobby waiting for me.
"Hey, Jess," he said walking up to me, grabbing my backpack from around me and putting it onto his shoulder.
"Hey, Cloud," I answered back to him avoiding his eye contact.
"Rough morning?' he asks.
Every morning is rough I thought. "No, just tired," I lied.
Cloud might be my best friend, but even he doesn't know what I go through. He hasn't read my diary either, so he could not possibly know my life. It's funny how he's my friend too. I mean, its not like he's the most popular guy in school, but he is the captain of the football team, the boyfriend of the cheer leading captain. Just stereo typical stuff. But, being the best friend of the most unpopular girl in school? Doesn't sound so real, does it? Nope.
We walked silently to his red 1975 Buick Electra complete with his preppy girlfriend. She looked at me annoyed as I walked towards the back seat of the car. Cloud then handed me my back pack he carries for me everyday out of my apartment building.
"Thanks," I mutter. I wonder why his girlfriend is here. She doesn't come any other time.
"Cloud, baby," she says with puppy dog eyes as soon as he starts the engine,"can I get a kiss?"
I throw up in my mouth as their lips connect, I soon turn away at the disgusting view. As soon as they're done, Janet turns and smirks as if her kiss will effect me at all. Well, it did, disgustingly. Now, we're off to Doncaster High.