When I Fell

Falling in love is tricky. There are so many movies and books that make it seem so easy and passionate and right but in the real word it's confusing and exciting and fun and frustrating and in the real world, things get in the way.



Ruby's point of view

I want him to stay in my room but we both know that maybe I couldn't handle that so he goes back to Jonas' room. I don't sleep very well and in the morning I get a text from Carrie asking me if I want to hang out today. I tell her I feel ill and she just tells me okay. I know that eventually she's going to realise that something's not right but thankfully she's busy with school anyway. 

School. I have to start college in a few weeks. The same college as Jason. The thought of seeing him there makes me shudder but I have to suck it up. I'm already not the same person, I've already accepted that I have to go through life just dealing with it and now is the time to do it. I just have to manage. 

When I'm dressed, I go to go and get breakfast and I'm horrified to see Jonas sitting in the living room with Chris and all of his friends. Jason looks straight at me. I feel my knees go weak and my stomach tie itself in knots. It's unbearable seeing him, that face, those eyes, just sat there in my house, looking at me as if nothing happened. He even smiles and my skin crawls. Chris looks at me desperately but I just shake my head at him and go back to my room. 

I'm trying to catch my breath. All of a sudden, I'm more his than I ever have been. I'm trapped again, I have been since he stepped foot into my cabin that night. I remember how he seemed to me, scheming, dirty, and now I feel the same way. I'm tainted. 

I can't go to college there. I'm panicking now, wracking through my drawers, sending papers flying everywhere as I try to find all of my college acceptance letters. I find them eventually and lay them out in front of me, still breathing heavy. I hold my breath as I see the perfect one.

It's for the university of Sheffield in England. My mom told me to pick one crazy college to apply to so I chose that one. Sheffield isn't the most exotic place I could go to in England but after all, I'd have moved to England and that's something in itself. It's got the perfect course of English Language combined with Sociology which none of the colleges here have. When I got accepted there, I got told we were moving to Florida and it just wasn't an option anymore.It just made sense to go to the same college as Jonas. I didn't mind but now I have to go.

I have to get as far away from Jason as I can. My mom will let me, she's always pushing me to do these things. I know it seems like I'm running away from my problems but recently I'm not trying to do things in depth, I'm just trying to manage and this is managing. I'm escaping and that's good enough. As I'm on the phone to the university, confirming my placement and organising accommodation, Chris is in the back of my mind. I'm dreading telling him. He'll be so upset with me but I have to do it. I don't have a choice anymore.

I just have to manage.

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