When I Fell

Falling in love is tricky. There are so many movies and books that make it seem so easy and passionate and right but in the real word it's confusing and exciting and fun and frustrating and in the real world, things get in the way.

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26. XXVI

Ruby's point of view

After a long day at the beach, Carrie and I are in my room getting ready to go out to one of the clubs. I'd already put my favourite dress that I'd brought on but she sighed as soon as she saw me and rushed out of the room muttering about how I need to flaunt what I've got and take advantage of the way I look. She returned a minute later with a black top completely made out of lace apart from a bandeau top covering what needs to be covered. She also forces me into a black skater skirt and black heels and does my makeup with black eyeliner and dark red lips. I feel like I'm a project of hers.

"There." she beams at me when she's done. "That'll make Chris sorry things didn't happen between the two of you."

I laugh, trying to make it not sound nervous. I always forget she has no idea. 

"Maybe." I say. "You need to get ready now. I'm not making any comment on my brother but I'm sure that's your inspiration."

She winks. "You know it."

As we're all leaving the cabin to meet the others outside, Chris pulls me aside and shuts the front door, pulling me into a hug and kissing my neck. I laugh. 

"Chris, stop it, they'll wonder where we are!"

"You look gorgeous." he murmurs and I can hear the smile in his voice. 

"Thank you." I push him away. "We have to go."

He tries to kiss me but I spin him around and push him towards the door but I'm laughing as well. "Go."

"Alright, alright."

Luckily nobody seems suspicious and we all pile into a taxi. I go to sit next to Jonas but Jason calls me over to sit next to him. I don't know why something about him irritates me and creeps me out a little bit if I'm honest. Maybe I'm just being stupid but I'm really not a fan. 

We're together all night and it isn't fun. I just can't seem to shake him. He makes jokes that I don't find funny but I laugh to be polite. He compliments me too much. Carrie notices and tries to drag me away to dance but Jason just follows. We eventually lose him for enough time to sneak into the girls' bathroom without him noticing. 

"Oh my god, what an irritating guy!" Carrie stresses, reapplying her lip gloss. 

"I know!" I say, frustrated. "How do we get rid of him?" 

She shrugs. "Maybe just kiss him, just once. It'll quit him bugging you."

I hesitate. "I can't."

"Don't be such a wet blanket, Ruby, just-"

"No Carrie, there's a reason I can't." I say.

She narrows her eyes at me. "What's the reason?"  

I pause. I guess this is the moment it all comes out. "Okay, I'm going to tell you but you can't tell anybody."

Her eyes light up. "Okay."

"Chris and I are together." I say, suddenly excited that I get to tell somebody.

"Shut up!" she yells and then looks around to see if anybody was staring. "Shut up!" 

I nod, smiling. "It's a secret though, Jonas would be pissed, you cannot tell anybody."

"My lips are sealed." she grins and then sighs heavily. "What are we gonna do about Jason?" 

I shrug. "I'll sneak out? You stay here, have fun, it's fine."

Her eyes light up again as she smiles. "Thank you. And you really are taking after me."

I text Chris: 

Jason is a little fond of me. I'm heading back, see you tonight? X

He replies:

Okay. I can come too if you want? X

I send back:

No, you stay here with your friends, I'm just gonna have a bath and stuff anyway x

He sends back:

Thanks :) Okay, see you tonight. X

I manage to sneak out without Jason noticing and I get a cab home. It's nice to just be completely by myself for a while. That's the person I was before I came here, just completely by myself and I don't really want to go back to that but it's nice to have that for a while. 

A while before Jason shows up at my door. He smiles when I open the door to him. 

"Jason." I force a smile. "What are you doing here?" 

"You left early." he says, shrugging. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

My smile is still being forced. "I'm fine. Thanks for checking on me."

He nods. "No problem. Can I come in?" 

I hesitate. "I'm kind of tired, I was just gonna go to bed-"

"Don't be silly, it's only early. We can just watch a movie or something." he suggests.

I feel sick. Something isn't right, something in his eyes is making me feel weird, something about the way he's insisting isn't normal but I can't refuse. What if I'm making something out of nothing?

"Sure." I say, stepping aside.

We sit there watching TV and he puts his arm around me. I can't stop the lump rising in my throat. I don't know why I don't just see this as him hitting on me but for some reason I can't bring myself to tell him to stop. For some reason, I'm scared. I just keep willing the others to come home but they don't. All I want is Jonas to come back and whisk me away and for Chris to tell me I'm silly for feeling scared.

"Ruby, you look so gorgeous tonight." he says at one point. 

"Thank you." I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

He puts his other hand on my hip and leans in, kissing my neck. "Really gorgeous."

I push him away gently. He just comes back. 

"Jason, I can't do this." I try to say it firmly but it just comes out as a pathetic mumble. 

He ignores me still. 

"Jason, stop." I tell him but I already know that I have no say. 

I'm trapped.

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