When I Fell

Falling in love is tricky. There are so many movies and books that make it seem so easy and passionate and right but in the real word it's confusing and exciting and fun and frustrating and in the real world, things get in the way.


15. XV

Chris' point of view

Ruby always looks pretty, really pretty, but she looks so beyond pretty tonight. She looks really good. A little bit too good, actually. The kind of good that makes me wish Jonas wasn't here, the kind of good that makes me wish her friend wasn't around. I've never even heard of this friend anyway, when did she come along?

I sit at the bar, not drinking, just looking over at her. That friend of hers is teaching her all these dance moves that concentrate on moving their hips around and dropping to the floor before getting back up. I'm not going to lie, she looks really great, just as good as her friend but she's laughing and holding her head in her hands as her friend teaches her all the moves. She's so embarrassed I can't help but smile to myself.

The embarrassment only lasts for a little while. Three guys go over to them both and start talking to them. Eventually, two of the boys are with Ruby's friend and one of them is with her and they're dancing together. His hands are on her hips and he pulls her closer, placing his hands on her butt. She giggles up at him and he smiles at her and that's when I've had enough.

I stride over to them. I don't push him away, I just sort of put my hand between then and make my way inbetween the two of them. He raises his eyebrows, putting his hands up defensively and walking away. I turn back to Ruby. Her expression is unreadable.

"I'm sorry." I say. Maybe I shouldn't have interfered. She was just having fun. 

"It's fine." she smiles softly. 

I step closer so she can hear me properly. "Be careful with guys in places like this, okay?" 

"We were just dancing!" she shoves me playfully.

"I could see that!" I laugh, taking both of her hands. "Mind showing me a couple of the moves?" 

She laughs. "Why, of course."

She twirls herself around so she's facing away from me, our hands still joined and my arms crossed over heir waist. And we dance. 


Ruby's point of view

Carrie grins at me, thumbs up and disappears off somewhere. I twist myself back so I'm facing him and I suddenly realise how close we're standing. He moves his head towards mine just a little bit, tilting just a little to the right, not enough to be definitely trying something but enough to suggest it. I un-link my hands from behind his neck and step away, smiling at him. 

"I'm gonna go and find Carrie." I shout over the music.

"I've gotta find Jonas!" he shouts back.

We end up finding them together. In a corner. Making out. We both stare at them for a moment. When they both pull away for air, they both look at us. Neither of them are drunk, not even Jonas which shocks me. Well, not as drunk as usual. Jonas grins at the two of us.

"We're gonna go to the beach!" he exclaims, excitedly. 

"Who?" Chris laughs at him.

"All of us lot and Ruby's new friend, Carrie! And Ruby!" he grins. "Ruby, you're coming to the beach!"

"Oh wow!" I say, laughing. 

We all walk down to the beach, all of us. I lose everybody I know for a while and I'm just walking with all of Jonas' friends but by myself pretty much, but when we get to the beach, I go straight over to Carrie.

"What the hell?!" I demand but I'm not really angry.

She winks. "Your brother is hotter than I remembered. Do you mind? We're not like together or anything."

I chuckle, nudging her. "Do what you want."

All of a sudden, I just feel so tired. Not sad or annoyed at anybody, just really tired. All I really want is to go and lie down and go to sleep so I tell Carrie to tell my brother I've gone home and I start walking away from the beach. I guess I'd hoped that Chris would follow me but he didn't. I don't know why I feel annoyed at him for that. I feel ignored but I don't know why, it's not fair. He has no reason to have to know when I leave somewhere or where I am. I just feel a bit disappointed even though I know that isn't fair.

He comes around the next night though to sleep over. I go and see Carrie for a while so I don't see him until two in the morning when Jonas is asleep and Chris is going to get a drink. We both look at each other for a moment like something happened, though I'm not really sure what. It was pretty uneventful.

"Hey." I say. 

"Hi." he says. "Just getting a drink. You want one?" 

I nod and he returns with two glasses of pepsi, sitting on the couch beside me. 

"Thank you." I say and he nods.

"Where'd you disappear off to last night?" 

"Just got tired." I shrug.

"You should have found me and said something, I would have driven you." he says, looking at me. 

All unfair annoyance is gone.

"It's alright, it doesn't take long to walk." I tell him.

"It wouldn't have been a problem." he nudges me. "Just don't go walking home by yourself if we're at one of those clubs."

I laugh, shoving him. "I'll live."

He smiles, blocking my further attempts to shove him again. "Got any Dance Moms recorded?"

So we sit there and watch Dance Moms as usual, minus all the junk food this time seeing as Jonas is all out of Doritos and I can't be bothered to make cookie dough. Our heads are both next to each other's on the back of the sofa and I can just feel us feel completely natural together and I like that.

"I'm usually all for Christi, but this time I totally agree with Melissa. It's not Maddie's or Melissa's fault that Maddie gets the solos. I mean is she gonna say no?" he says.

I turn my face towards his and smile, amused. He looks and me, an anxious expression on his face before he grins.

"What?" he asks.

"You're getting a little too into this for it to be manly." I tease him. 

"Shut up." he says but his grin is still a smile as he leans in a little bit. 

I lean in a little bit too because why wouldn't I? But then I get scared. Do I really want to kiss him? Do I really want to get myself attached like that when we can't really make it work without upsetting my brother and his best friend? I know I'd regret doing it. However good it feels right now, it won't be worth it when we've upset Jonas. I just have to regain some self control. I clear my throat and move away a little bit. He sighs. 

"Ruby, you need to stop almost kissing me and then moving away."

"I'm sorry." I tell him. "But what are we doing? We can't do this, it's not fair on Jonas and it's not fair on us."

"I know that." he says, looking at me seriously. "But it's getting to a point where I really don't care about that anymore."

"He's your best friend." I remind him. 

"I don't care. If he cared about me, he'd let me be with you." he argues.

"Well he's not letting you be with me because he cares about me." I point out. 

"Yeah, that might be so, but it's also because he's terrible with sharing." Chris says. "Even if we don't officially get together, what's the harm in kissing? Just once."

I move my eyes away from his and shrug. "I've never kissed anybody."

It's not a lie. 

He looks at me, eyes wide and mouth open. "What?" 

"I've never kissed anybody. Or had a boyfriend." I repeat, my cheeks flushing. 

"You're kidding!" he says, laughing a little bit.

"Don't laugh." I frown, standing up and preparing to do a dramatic storm into my room. 

"Ruby! Ruby, stop." he grabs my hand and pulls me back down to the couch, still laughing. "I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because that's ridiculous."

"Well then." I say, almost getting up again.

"No, I mean it's ridiculous that you've never had a boyfriend or kissed anybody. You've had every opportunity!" 

I frown. "No I haven't."

"Every boy who meets you falls in love with you for at least a minute." he says, still incredulous. "Every single boy in our group of friends has tried to kiss you or ask you out on a date or at the very least talked about how attractive you are. They just give up when they realise you're oblivious. I just find it incredible that you've never said yes to anybody asking you out." 

"I've never been asked out." I tell him, looking him in the eye again.

"No." he says, his face deadpan. "No, shut up."

"I've never been asked out." I repeat.

"That's ridiculous. You must have been."

I shake my head.

"Were the boys in your high school blind and deaf?"

I laugh out loud at that one. He's being so sweet, I can't really believe he's not joking. But he's not. He's being completely honest and I can tell.

"Well I'd ask you." he says quietly, smiling kindly at me. "If you were just some other random girl, not Jonas' sister, we'd already have been together for a year."

I frown and smile at him. "I haven't been here for a year."

"That's how much I want to be with you." he says and we both laugh.

"I'm gonna go to bed." I tell him, squeezing his hand and getting up. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He nods, a look of content on his face and he lets go of my hand. 

"Night, Ruby." he whispers.

I don't go to sleep. I just lie awake all night thinking about what I should do. I come to the conclusion that I should just pretend that never happened.

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