When I Fell

Falling in love is tricky. There are so many movies and books that make it seem so easy and passionate and right but in the real word it's confusing and exciting and fun and frustrating and in the real world, things get in the way.

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58. LVIII

Ruby's point of view

I wake up in bed. It's still dark out and Chris is sat up next to me, still awake, scrolling through something on his iPad. I sit up, groggily, resting my head on his shoulder. He rests his head on top of mine.

"What time is it?" I mumble, shutting my eyes again.

"Only three am." he says, softly.

"Did Jonas come home?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"No." he sighs. He actually sounds angry rather than worried. "I don't understand what the hell he's playing at."

"Don't worry." I say, unsure though, because I don't think he's concerned at all.

"I'm not. He's probably just at Jon's or something but I don't get what he's thinking. He must know that we're at home, that you and your Mom are worried sick. I get why he's upset but he shouldn't be this upset, it's not that bad-"

"Chris." I whisper, resting my hand on his cheek and looking at him. "It's okay. It's okay."

He sighs, resting his forehead on mine. "You don't need this, Ruby. What's happening with Jason again is awful and Jonas over-reacting about this isn't helping."

"It's going to be better now that I can be with you more." I say, honestly. I don't know how much truth is in that though. I think it is going to be better but that doesn't mean it's going to be fine. I'm trying not to think about it too much because I feel like I'm not going to like the result. 

"How much better though?" he asks.

"I don't know."

"I just don't want Jonas to be so angry if us telling him isn't going to help in any way."

"It's going to help."

"Is it? Because to me, you still seem pretty stressed about Jason."

"Well, I can't help that."

"I know you can't."

"So what are you trying to say?" 

"I'm trying to say that you can't help it because you came back to Florida." 

"So?" I ask, exasperated.

"So I'm saying we both go to England." he says, finally.

I don't know what I feel next. I just feel something and it's very intense. When did things get so serious? I know I can't stay here, that's the obvious truth that we've been ignoring but I can't leave Chris either. I know that it's ideal for us both to go to England but I don't want him to have to. That isn't fair. I also don't want him to be so willing to drop absolutely everything for me. I don't know why, it's just scary. 

"But you-"

"Let me worry about me." he says, gently. 

"No." I say, shaking my head. "No, I'm not going back to England and if I do, then you're not coming with me. We are going to be practical and logical, okay? I don't want to leave you, so I'm going to suck it up and stay here."

"Ruby-"

"For once, will you please listen to me and what I have to say?" I plead. "Both of us going to England is ideal, yes, but it's... it's crazy, Chris, it is. We just need to figure something else out."

He nods, thinking. "Maybe you could come and stay with me for a little while. My parents wouldn't mind. It'd just give Jonas some time to cool down, it might let things figure themselves out a little bit more."

I nod, relieved. "That's a better idea."

Chris smiles, taking my hand. "You are a lot more yourself recently, you know that?" 

I smile back. "I am?" 

"Yeah." he nods. "Do you think telling Jonas helped?" 

I nod. "Definitely."

He leans in and kisses me and I kiss him back and we just sit there for a while, kissing and being quiet. It's been a really, really long time since we've done that. Everything's been stressful, everything's been about resolving things and thinking about the future. We forgot about how we feel right now and that's something I don't want to forget.

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