Ruby's point of view
I'm trying not to fall back into that mood I was in last year, but I can't help it. Last year, there was one thought that always ran through my head: 'This is what my life is meant to be like'. And that never stopped. This is what my life is meant to be like. I'm meant to just be haunted by what happened. That's just the way my life is going.
Chris comes to stay for the night after his surfing day. Him and Jonas get home at about four and I know he'll come to my room later on so I spend all day working myself up to appear fine and happy and it works as he's opening the door at midnight but as soon as I see that kind face of his and I have a moment where I'm overwhelmed by him and I just start crying.
He sighs, rushing over to sit on my bed and he pulls me close.
"Oh, Ruby." he murmurs, pulling me even closer.
I bury my head in that space between his shoulder and his neck.
"I'm not going to hang out with them anymore." he says.
I pull away, looking at him. "Chris-"
"I know what you're going to say, okay?" he takes my face between his hands. "That I can't do it because they can't know what happened. But I'm not going to give them an explanation, we don't have to give them one."
"But Jonas is going to know about us..." I say hopelessly.
"Then he's just going to have to know, isn't he?" Chris circles his thumb on my cheek. "We've kept both of those things a secret for so long. If we want to keep what happened with Jason a secret then we have to tell people about us. If that means Jonas is mad with us for a while, then so be it. It's gonna be you and me, okay? Just you and me."
I sigh. "I guess you're right."
He nods. "We'll talk with him tomorrow morning, okay?"
I nod and he kisses me before turning the light out and lying down with me. My heart is beating a hundred miles an hour. Chris makes it sound like a resolution but it doesn't feel that way.