When I Fell

Falling in love is tricky. There are so many movies and books that make it seem so easy and passionate and right but in the real word it's confusing and exciting and fun and frustrating and in the real world, things get in the way.


53. LIII

Ruby's point of view

I don't go home. I can't stand the thought of facing Jonas after that even though that's the least of my worries. What was Jason saying? Why the hell would he do that? It's been a year, I thought I'd moved past it but now I'm realising that it never really went away. I don't know why but once he'd started ruining my life, he didn't have any intention of stopping and he doesn't even care. I don't understand why he'd say things like that. All I know now is that I really did just run away from my problems. They never went away. What he did is going to haunt me forever. 

I stay in the same place, on a bench by the beach, all day. It's eight pm when Chris finds me. 

"Hey." he sighs heavily, sitting next to me. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, looking out at the ocean. I'm trying to stop my voice from shaking but it's not working. Not crying isn't working either. 

"I didn't know, Ruby." he frowns. "You think I wouldn't tell you if I knew that?" 

"I don't know, Chris." I sigh, wearily. 

"I'd tell you." he takes my hand, circling his thumb where he wrote his name yesterday and where I rewrote it this morning.  "Ruby, I didn't know."

I nod, looking down at our hands. "Chris, what am I going to do? You were right when we had that fight before I left for England."

He sighs, resting his forehead on the side of mine, his lips brushing my cheek when he speaks. "Rubes, that was a year ago, don't."

"No, but you were right, weren't you? I didn't fix anything, I was just running away from it all, wasn't I?"


"Chris, just be honest."

He hesitates and then I feel him nod. "Maybe."

"So what do I do?" I ask desperately, pulling away to look at him. He looks just as hurt as I feel.

"I think you should tell people." he says, softly. 

I shake my head. "I can't."


"Chris, I can't." I say, sharply. 

He sighs, leaning his forehead against mine again. "I don't know, Ruby."

And we just sit there, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do and not knowing what to think.

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