When I Fell

Falling in love is tricky. There are so many movies and books that make it seem so easy and passionate and right but in the real word it's confusing and exciting and fun and frustrating and in the real world, things get in the way.

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2. II

Our new house is lovely. It's only a minute's walk away from the beach and it's very light and spacious and airy. It's beautiful, it just doesn't seem like home yet. To me, home is our cosy house in Washington where we stay inside to avoid the rain, not this lovely, modern, one storied house where we stay to get out of the sun before venturing out to the beach again. It's a beautiful place, it really is, I just wish I was the kind of person who loved it and felt like I was part of it rather than feeling like it's something to admire. 

It's so strange at breakfast the next morning. We have new furniture to match the feel of this new house but other than that, everything is packed away in boxes. I chew on my cereal and listen to Jonas excitedly chatter away. I wonder how this feels for him. I know this is a new house, but this is home to him. The beach near our house is the exact beach he always goes to with his friends. He talks about how his plan for today is to go and see them all again. He hasn't seen then for a month now and he's so excited to go out to the beach with them all again and I'm happy he's happy, I really am. 

"Okay." my mom nods with a fond smile. "But tomorrow, you're staying at home and helping us unpack, okay?" 

He grins. "Okay, that's fine. Hey, I'll bring my friend over to help, you know my best friend Chris who I've told you about? He's good with that kind of thing. And maybe my other friend Clare? She's real into Fung Shui, that'd be great. Oh, and Clare's boyfriend Jon is really strong..."

He goes on and on about his friends. I can't even be irritated by that, I'm just so happy for him. He gets up and literally runs out of the door, shouting a goodbye. My mom laughs, shaking her head. 

"Isn't he cute?" she says to me.

I nod, smiling. "Yeah."

"So we're not unpacking until tomorrow." she looks at me. "Wanna go check out town today?" 

I agree. I get dressed in some white shorts and a blue t shirt and some flip flops and look in the mirror. From what I've seen of all of Jonas' friends, they're all curvy and tanned and beautiful. I'm tanned which is good but I'm also skinny and quite plain. I don't suppose anybody's gonna be judging me though seeing as they have all the beautiful people to look at. 

We go into town, the main part of this area where we live. There's a high street with a few shops and a lot of clubs and bars and stuff like that and then there's a mall. It's so different to Washington. It's kind of warm in Washington when it's in summer but here in Florida, it's so hot. The whole atmosphere is different as well. Nobody's in a rush to get anywhere, they're just enjoying themselves. I can't wait to become relaxed like that. 

I thought we were just exploring but Mom buys me a lot of new clothes to suit the weather here. She keeps saying things like "you'll look cute in this" and "the boys will think you're cute in this" and "this will get the boys' attention". She knows I've never had a boyfriend at all. I've never even kissed a boy. I know I'm eighteen and it's kind of pathetic to not have kissed a boy or had a boyfriend but it just hasn't happened yet. I think Mom wants it to happen though.

She'll be very happy for me to make friends here but she knows I'm not really a person for friends. I had friends back in Washington but we were never close. I never get attached to people, I never have people to talk to or have fun with really. I'm such a romantic at heart and my mom knows that if I get a boyfriend, I'll just be in love with him and I won't be so lonely. I guess she's right, if I get a boyfriend then it will be that way but it's going to take a lot to get me to that point.

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