I've been sitting in my car debating whether I should get out of my car and get to class or just stay in here and bite my finger nails. I'm too nervous to see Stan! I can't seem to be able to get our kiss out of my head. It almost seems like a dream. What does it mean? Does it mean we're together?
I slammed my head on the wheel for over thinking. I should just go in there and see what happens. I'll just go along with whatever he wants. If he wants to be more than friends we will! If he wants to forget the kiss ever happened then I will.
I let out a sigh before grabbing my stuff and getting out of the car. I made my way toward the front gates where my friends stood. I looked down at the floor when Stan came into view. I am sure that I am blushing right now because all I can think about is the way his lips felt so good against mine. He smiled and made his way over to me.
"Hello beautiful! How are you doing this fine morning?" He asked.
"I am doing just fine!"
He smiled at me and cupped my face. He placed a small peck on my lips before holding my hand. We made our way to where Alison, Ashton, Luke, Michael, Ashley, and Him were standing at.
"You guys are holding hands!" Alison looked at our intertwined hands confused.
"Did we miss something? Are you guys together?" She asked.
My eyes flickered to Calum's hurt ones. Why would he be hurt? He's the one who decided to leave me. He has no right to feel hurt when I'm finally getting a chance to feel happy again.
"We're not together yet but we will be soon" Stan said with a smile on his face.
Calum snorted and began to walk away making sure to bump Stan's shoulder. Ashley glared at me before following Calum.
"We need to talk after class" Alison walked away.
I smiled at Stan and pecked his lips before making my way to class. I walked in and took my usual seat at the back of the class. Here I can fall asleep or do my homework for other classes. The teacher either doesn't care or is plainly oblivious. I let out a sigh and rested my head in the table. Hopefully I'll wake up a little before the bell rings. I don't want to stay a sleep like last time. I ended up missing a class and had a bunch of drawings on my face.
There was a small tap on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and tried to continue my slumber. I felt it again.
"What?!" I snapped. Everyone in the classroom focused their attention on me. I shrunk in my seat as the heat reached my face. Soon enough everyone was back in their own world.
I let out another sigh. I pulled my hair behind my ears.
I turned to my side annoyed at the person. My eyes widened as I noticed who it was.
"Calum, what are you doing here?" I asked annoyed.
"I'm in this class"
"Since today. They changed my schedule"
I grunted and sank lower in my seat. Now I have him in this class!
Thanks for ruining my favorite class Calum!
"Hey can we talk?" He whispered.
"I'm gonna talk anyway so just listen. I know that you think I'm an idiot for the choices I've made-"
He said it not me.
"And I know that there is no excuse for what I did to you. And I know that you are going to hate me even more after I tell you the reason why"
He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes.
I'm waiting! You know we don't have all day! Not to be mean.
"The reason why I did all of those things to you was because I.... I.....I got Vanessa pregnant"
A knot formed in my throat and my stomach tightened. I sat frozen on my seat. I wanted to slap him but the shock and anger didn't allow me to.
"She told me she was sure that I was the father and told me that I had to take responsibility. I thought that if I just stopped talking to you I would have hurt you less than the truth"
I stood up and made my way out of the class. The salty liquid threatening to come out any second.
Why would he do this? Was I not good enough for him? How could he do that to me at such a young age? What was he thinking when he did it? Was he even thinking at all? What made him think that ignoring me would make it hurt any less? It's been two years and he decided to tell me know?
"Vanessa wait!" He pleaded. I ignored him and continued walking. The tears made my vision blur.
My hand was pulled making turn back. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I tried pushing him and hitting him but my strength was nothing compared to his.
I gave up and let my arm swing on my sides.
Why am I crying?
I promised myself that I wouldn't cry because of Calum. Besides I should be used to getting hurt by him. That's pretty much all he seems to know how to do.
But why am I surprised? Why is it that I feel like my heart has been ripped into pieces and my throat stabbed by knives?
I pushed him away and cleaned my tears. The Calum I felt love for was just some kind of act. I don't know the guy who is standing right In front of me. What I do know is that I feel a strong disgust toward him.
"You hurt me yet again, but this is the last time! You disgust me" I whispered.
By the look on his face I knew a lump had formed in his throat. He tried hard to swallow but it seem impossible for him to do it. Just as impossible as it was for me to swallow the one in my throat.
I let him hurt me again. I let him see that he hurt me again. But this is the last time he does it. This is the last time he will ever get a hold of my emotions. I will no longer let him get the best of me and then stomp on me and throw me away like I'm not worth anything. This is the last time you make me worth nothing Hood.
I cleaned my tears and sighed. I tilted my chin upwards and stood up straight. A smile formed on my face.
"See you around Hood" I said passing by him. I walked in class to grab my stuff.
The teacher was a sleep with students surrounding him. He will have a surprise when he wakes up. That's a lesson I learned a while back. These students will stop at nothing to have a good time at school. Even if it means to draw on a teachers face.
The bell rang signaling the end of class. I walked out and headed toward my locker. Alison was standing there looking for me. Her eyes landed on me and widened with excitement. She ran toward me and squeezed my shoulders.
"Spill" She demanded. I rolled my eyes and removed her hands from my shoulders.
"Well he went over to my house yesterday since you texted him to check up on me. We talked and he told me he had something for me. He searched his pockets and bam he kissed me. You know me having a crush on him I kissed him back and it was amazing"
Alison began squealing making me cover her mouth. I shrugged off the weird stares we got.
Alison is such a sap. She loves romance and squealing. Every time we go to the movie theater I have to make sure to sit at least two seats away from her or squeeze her arm every time she gets excited. Not to mention when we went to a concert, I believe she was the loudest screamer. Loud enough for people to complain about her. To which she responded with "it's a concert, What did you expect?".
"So will you guys be going on a date?" She asked.
I shrugged my shoulders at I grabbed my stuff from my locker. I turned around as we made our way to class.
Art is something the three of us have in common. Ever since we were little sometimes instead of playing or 'hanging out' like everybody else we would gather at my house and do art. It was peaceful and it gave us a good way to express ourselves.
I walked in embraced by the smell of paint. I took my seat next to Alison and waited for the class to start. I let out a sigh and looked around the artistic classroom. Art from the past years still hung loosely. It seems as if it can fall any minute. Stan walked in and smiled at me. He sat next to me and grabbed my hand under the table. He gave it a little squeeze and smiled at me.
"You guys are disgusting please stop!" Alison pleaded.
I smacked her arm and began laughing with Stan.
I'm glad she didn't find it weird that Stan and I like each other. Her opinion matters to me a lot because she always tell me the truth even when I don't want to hear it.
School is finally over! I get to go home to my beautiful friends! My fridge, my couch, and Netflix. It's embarrassing to say but I think I've watched almost every movie in Netflix. From English to Korean.
I walked over to my locker. I entered my combination allowing me access to the messiness it holds inside. I really need to be more organized.
A little note slipped out and landed on the ground.
I love notes!
I picked it up and noticed the messy hand writing. It's from Stan. That boy writes like a 5th grader. I opened it and it read:
Would you like to go on a date with me Friday night? Circle your answer.
Yes. Or Yes
I'll have to go with the second choice. I slipped the note into his locker once after circling 'yes'. A smile appeared on my face as I walked over to my car.
A date with Stan on Friday night. That sounds amazing! Today is Tuesday so I have to wait until Friday. I hope everything turns out fine and we end up making it official!