Faded Lights

I try to feel sad about what my life -or whatever this is called- has become, but nothing happens. I am numb to anything and everything.


2. Chapter One

One Day Earlier

“You’re a dick, you know that Ash?” My friend Calum said. I know I was it was natural. He was drinking some water and I had just tipped the bottle up, making the water spill onto this favourite shirt.

“Hey, I’m not the one standing here soaking wet” I winked, knowing he would get the dirtier meaning behind that phrase. He smirked and then poked his tongue out. “Very mature Cal, very mature.” He repeated the action and walked away, most likely to change.

Michael walked up, his hair yet again a new colour. “Got bored of green did we? Wanted something a little more vibrant?”

“I like purple. Green was old man, so old. The girls all love my hair colours.” Michael was such a man-whore. I mean, so was I but, this is sweet little Michael. He never did anything wrong, except get with girls and leave before they wake up. As I said, man-whore.

“Hey, Styles is holding another party this weekend, did you guys wanna go?” Another party, holy shit! Harry, or Styles as we called him, has a party at his frat house almost every weekend. He and his mates are the life of the party. Their house was always stocked with beer and somehow, they had drugs as well. I was decent enough to avoid the drugs. I may be a dick and drink my life away, but I have enough dignity to not get high and drunk.

“Sure, it’s probably going to be just like last week’s anyway, but, what’s a party without Ashton right?” Michael sighed and slumped out of the room. Good job Ashton, how do you even have friends?


I got out of the car and headed towards Harry’s house. The music was so loud it could be heard from down the street. I opened the door and the overwhelming smell of smoke and alcohol entranced me. There were half-naked girls dancing on the table while their friends sung terribly to the karaoke.

“I wish that I could wake up with Amnesia!” The girls sung. They were giggling while singing, making it hard to understand the words. “And forget about the stupid little things.” I walked past them and eventually their singing grew distant. I really didn’t want to be here, it always went the same way. I would find a girl, get both of us drunk, fuck her and then go home. That’s how all my weekends went. I wasn’t proud of whom I was, but it’s too late to change now so I may as well make the best of it. Finally, I found Harry on a lounge with a girl on his lap. I wasn’t sure who it was until she turned around and I got a good view of her face. Tessa Young*, Harry’s latest play girl smiled a greeted me politely. “Hey, Ashton right? Hi, I’m Tessa.”  Her voice was high pitched and annoying, how could anyone stand listening to that all the time?

“Fine.” I never ask how they are, why should I? I don’t care about them or how they feel so why should I listen?

“Mate, can you leave? The atmosphere is clogging up.” Harry smirked. Fuck head, he just wants to get laid. We all know that relationship will never last. I walked out of the room to let them do their thing only to run into fucking Luke. Why was he even here? Luke was the loser of the school. He never spoke to anyone, well, he did speak to people they just weren’t real. He sits in the corner table in the cafeteria and talks to air. He claims that they are real people but we all know he is just mentally insane.  “Can you move?” I spat, he didn’t move, just stared at the wall next to him.

“Your right, I’ll let him go this time.” He turned towards me. “I’m sorry my dear sir, was I in your way?” He smiled. Dick.

“Yes, you’re in everyone’s way. Now, if you don’t mind, dear sir, I would like to go get wasted and find a bitch.” I pushed him out of the way and he cracked up laughing. “Honestly Hemmings, you have issues.” He kept laughing as I walked away.


It was two in the morning and I was so pissed. Like, wasted to the curb. I could barely see, everything was moving and when I spoke it was just a slur of words that made no sense. I stumbled over to a table and clutched it for support. I could see a red cup on the table. I reached for it but it kept moving. Life is so hard, why can’t I just grab the cup. When I finally managed to grab the cup I saw the alcohol inside. 

I tipped my head back as I drank, the cool liquid burning my throat on the way down. Vodka, what a wonderful substance! Sweat was pouring of my forehead as I yelled out, everyone cheering me on. This was my ninth shot now, one more and I think I might pass out. “I’m gunna go!” I managed to slur. How I could even stand let alone speak was a mystery. Michael walked up and put this hand on my shoulder. He was the sober one of the group, by choice. He hated alcohol. He wasn’t taking the others home for another half hour. Could I last that long? I nodded my head at him and stumbled out the door towards my car. I then realised, my car was back at the apartment. My mates and I travelled a lot, so we only kept two cars; mine and Michael’s. I stumbled down the sidewalk, well; I think it’s the sidewalk, towards the apartment. I saw two bright headlights coming towards me and I froze, knowing what was coming. 

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