You Think I'm Funny?

**May contain swearing or/and other mature topics** Just funny textposts that will mostly involve different bands and other comedic things, so if you want a good read that will make you pee your pants, I recommend this :) I REALLY NEED TO CHANGE THE COVER OH MY GOSH

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31. MiChAeL kItTeN cLiFfOrD

*This chapter involves mostly book series so if you haven't read them, you mostly likely won't get them*

 

Twilight vs Clockwork Princess

Edward: She's mine!

Jacob: She's mine!

 

Will: You take her!

Jem: No you take her!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Mortal Instruments characters failing at baby talk

Jace: aawww who wants the little seraph blade, oh.... CLARY CAN YOU MAKE A RUNE THAT HEALS BABIES?

Clary: wook at the cute wittle baby, now stay still so I can draw your wittle face, no don't start crying! Oh god, why won't you stay still....

Simon: Does someone wanna pway with the wuke skywalker doll? OMG DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH ITS A COLLECTORS ITEM
Isabelle: Come here, cutie, wanna play with the whip?? no no oH GOd YOU TANGLED IT

Alec: aw come here, let daddy try to get some of the gwitter out of you hair, DAMMIT MAGNUS DID YOU PUT EYELINER ON OUR BABY

Magnus: GWITTTEEEERRRRR GWIIITTTTEEEEERRRR EEVVVEERRYYYYWHHEERRREEEE *spins in circle while throwing glitter into air*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tessa: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl.

Jem: I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Will could fight in that dress either.

Will: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

what if you woke up and your favorite fictional character was snuggled next to you and they were like "Good morning"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just saw Catching Fire and when Katniss says to Peeta 'see you at midnight' some girl screemed 'NO YOU WON'T' and literally fell out of her chair sobbing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

in a few hundred years when everyone dies Simon, Magnus, and Raphael should form a boyband

The Immortal Instruments

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If Will Herondale were a doctor...

Patient: I have a terrible stomach ache

Will: I'm afraid you've got Demon Pox

Patient 2: I've been coughing a lot lately

Will: That's Demon Pox

Patient 3: HELP! I've been shot!

Will: demon POx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

niall saying he doesn't work out is like me saying I don't eat chocolate. Lies Niall, lies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LISTEN TO ME ONE DIRECTION SHOULD RELEASE A CHRISTMAS ALBUM AND LIAM SHOULD COVER CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE ZAYN WOULD COVER SILENT NIGHT AND NIALL SHOULD SING SANTA BABY AND HARRY AND LOUIS WILL HAVE A DUET ON BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"WHAT TEAM!?" I shout out the window into the night.

Somewhere, hundreds of miles away, Zac Efron wakes up from a restless sleep, sitting bolt upright "WILDCATS"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

omg but niall seems like the kind of person that you would be taking a walk with at night to get ice cream and you'd be like "wow it's cold outside" hinting you want his jacket and he'll just be devouring his ice cream like "You shoulda worn a jacket"

sigh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Louis explodes

Louis bomblinson

Louis gets his own website

Louis .comlinson

Louis becomes a cheerleader

Louis pompomlinson

Louis gets married

Louis Tomlinson-styles

(No offence if you don't ship Larry, I just thought this was cute)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

do re me fa so done with you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Katniss and Peeta

The Married Years

Peeta: Are you just going to sit there all day and watch old CSI reruns

Katniss: Yep. Do you have a problem with that

Peeta" I do actually. Cake Boss is on

Katniss: That's a shame

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

me: oh a new character?

me: he's so funny!

me: he's so cute! omg

me: he's adorable!

me: he is so perfect.

me: I just can't

me: ASDFGHJKL

me: I just love him so much

me: he's my soul mat-

me: and he's dead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(This made me snort lol)

when people from my school say niall as in ne-al

im going to flingstagram myselfstagram off o cliffstagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they should invent

a treadmill

with a laptop built in

and unless you were walking, the internet wouldn't work

like you had to be walking on it, you can't just trick it and stand on the sides

I would lose so much weight

the faster you go the faster the wifi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Valentine's advice to fathers who don't want their daughters to have boyfriends:

tell them they're siblings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

one direction isn't just Harry

The Wanted isn't just Nathan

Maroon 5 isn't just Adam

Little Mix isn't just Zayn

5SOS isn't just Niall

Respect everyone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Invention idea: an alarm clock that screams "WHAT TEAM" And the only way to turn it off is to scream "WILDCATS" in response

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jace: If our loovvveee

Clary: Jace no.

Jace: IS tragedy

Clary: not again.

Jace: why are you my remedy

Clary: I beg of you

Jace: if our loooooOOOooove's

Clary: don't do it

Jace: insanity why are you

Clary: Jace-

Jace: my Clary

Clary:

Simon:

Alec:

Isabelle:

Magnus:

Jocelyn:

Luke:

Sebastian:

Valentine:

Will:

Raziel:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

if you stole Harry Styles bank card and bought a bunch of stuff he'd probably let you keep the stuff and ask you to send him photos of how the stuff looks in your house

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't think anything sums up harry and niall better as people than the time harry ran into a glass door and niall was laughing at him and ended up walking into it as well

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 headphones in: don't talk to me

1 headphone in: don't talk to me

no headphones in: Don't talk to me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

if I was famous I would follow a bunch of my fans on twitter and reply to their random tweets or send them a stupid selfie if they were having a bad day man i'd be the best celebrity ever people make me famous

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just electrocuted myself omg

how shocking

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it's all fun and games until the wifi goes out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EARTHQUAKES ARE THE WEIRDEST THINGS LIKE WE ARE FLOATING IN SPACE AND OUR PLANET JUST DECIDES TO SPONTANEOUSLY DO THE CHIMICHANGA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

if I was Lux I would just laugh maniacally while choosing what baby picture to put in my senior yearbook

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why are directioners so violent?

we learned from the best

harry: if your going to get in trouble for hitting someone

harry: might as well hit them hard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

person: How can you tell what song it is from the first 3 seconds of sound

me: hoW CaN YOU NOt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

im the man who had the cheese

im the man who had the jerky

we put em both together

and yeah it really workey

cheese jerkey

say what say what

(If you know what show that is from comment 'buttermuffins'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lets talk about how insanely detailed the mannequins hands are at kohls

that's because they use real people who shoplift

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

in elementary school I hit this kid cause he said I cant punch and I broke his nose and then my stepdad picked me up and the office was like 'you have to say sorry' but then the kid was like 'but she proved me wrong, she doesn't have to say sorry' ladies and gentlemen my best friend of many years

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel like dating harry would involve a lot of 'harry, no' and 'don't eat that you found that on the floor'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harry: I'm literally living with a leprechaun, peter pan, a vogue model, and the hulk.

most accurate description of one direction

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Harry's that kid in class who pulls out an orange or a banana and starts eating and when the teacher asks if he has enough for the class he pulls a fruit tree out of his bag

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

problem solving 101 with Zayn Malik:

My mum wouldn't let me spray paint her walls so I bought my own house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I would be an awful parent. My kid would say "i don't wanna go to school I just wanna sleep" and I'd probably get in bed with them and say "i feel you"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Zayn what's wrong?"

"Niall said I can't be in little mix."

"Okay?"
"So I said he can't be in 5sos."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*year 2048*

One Direction's album, 'Still Young Forever' has just been released!

Track list:

1. Still young Forever

2. We're still the shit

3. Rock me in my rocking chair

4. live while we're seniors

5. up until 8:30

6. heart attack and died

7. I wish I was young again

8. change my mind about the X Factor again

9. Experience my whole life over again

10. Can't stand up without help

11. c'mon c'mon play bingo with me

12. everything about pudding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT IF (what should of happened at the end of This Is Us)

at the end of the movie, the screen goes completely black

and you hear echoey voices saying

"My name's Harry, I'm 16 and I'm from Holms Chapel in Cheshire."

"I'm Louis Tomlinson, 19 and I'm from Doncaster."

"Niall Horan. 16. I'm from Mullingar, Ireland."

"I'm Zayn Malik, I'm 17 and I'm from Bradford."

"I'm Liam, I'm 16 and I'm from Wolverhampton."

and then torn starts playing as the credits roll...

no I am not okay.

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