*sorry for the extra long wait, my laptop had a virus :/ BUT ANYWAY im going to try something different if you don't mind :)*
“Today we remember drummer of the band 5 Seconds of Summer, Ashton Fletcher Irwin.
May he rest in peace…”
I remember that day like it was yesterday. The way he laughed, the way he hugged me. We stayed out until sunset and playfully splashed each other with the salty ocean water. If you asked me now, I can still recall every detail of his face, the way my hands fit in his perfectly, the way his eyes shined in the sun.
“It was a year ago today.” I cried to myself. Today was the day; a year ago today my heart broke into a million pieces and never healed because of him. It’s all his fault. If our eyes never made contact, if he never followed me back to my car, none of this would have happened. But, if our eyes never made contact and he never followed me to my car, then I wouldn’t have had the best time of my life. For the past year, I have been living by myself, alone in a dark room that I never come out of. It’s all my fault. If he wasn’t such a caring person.
I moved more today than I did in the past year. My progress included visiting him and driving straight back home. Crying is what I do best, and that is exactly what I did when I saw his grave. Flowers, cards, and other things that fans put were there. But, all the local fans knew to leave a spot for me. I rested next to 'him', retold my year, read him a poem I wrote, and then set a drawing that I drew of him against his gravestone. I may sound crazy, pretending that he was still with me, but it’s hard not to. I miss his smirks, his morning kisses, his goodnight lullabies. I miss him.
‘“Summer! I’m going out!” He yelled from the front door. I bolted down the front steps and raced to the front door.
“Where to?” I wondered.
“To get you a smoothie.” He kissed my forehead and walked out of the door. I smiled at the fact that he just wanted to get me a smoothie.
Two hours passed, and he wasn’t home yet. I called him a few times to see when he would be home, even texted, but he never answered back. The smoothie place is five minutes away, so technically, he should have been back a while ago. At this point, I was frustrated. A few minutes later, I got a call from Ashton’s mom. The phone call was short and long, but straight forward.
I raced to the hospital in my pajamas, anxiously speeding towards the place that will decide my future. As soon as I burst through the main entrance, Ashton’s family engulfed me in tears and hugs. Ashton’s mom gave me the look of love and lost, and I knew what had happened. My legs gave out beneath me and salty tears dripped from my eyes. He is gone.’
I love you Ash.
I love you too Summer.