You Think I'm Funny?

**May contain swearing or/and other mature topics** Just funny textposts that will mostly involve different bands and other comedic things, so if you want a good read that will make you pee your pants, I recommend this :) I REALLY NEED TO CHANGE THE COVER OH MY GOSH

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24. hijklmnop

do we wanna talk about boy next door Luke who lives in the house behind you so he likes to climb the fence to impress you and you sometimes join him and sit on the tall fence together and he gets really nervous when you tell him you hear him playing his guitar and singing and then you joke around saying he must be singing about you then he blushes and stutters before he falls off the fence because yes. yes he is singing about you.

 

 

 

 

I honestly forget that 5sos is a band and not just my four best friends who sometimes sing but mostly just make me happy.

 

 

 

 

do you ever remember that Calum Hood wrote the music and lyrics to Gotta Get Out at 16 and want to throw yourself in front of a bus because there's no way you can live up to that standard.

 

 

 

but imagine Ashton volunteering at your local library Sunday afternoons as a child book reader.

"It was a big ass wolf"

 

 

 

 

Normally Luke is an adorable lanky noodle but when he gets onstage he's a hot and spicy noodle and im so im loVE

 

 

 

Bedtime on the 5sos tour bus probably.

Ashton: alright dudes. lights out. Michael that includes your DS.

Luke: neeeerrrrr asherrrrnnnn

Ashton: [sigh] Goodnight Luke

Calum: That's not what he said

Michael: yeah he said noooooo Ashton

Calum: It would have been like "Gernert!"

Luke: Gernert Calerm

Michael: See?

Luke: Gernert Michael

Michael: goodnigh-

Ashton: CAN YOU GUYS BE QUIET

Calum:

Michael:

Luke [whispers] gernert ashtern

 

 

 

 

 

"hi im Michael"

"hi im calum"

"hi im luke"

"HELLO LONDON AND THE INTERNET MY NAME IS ASHTON IRWIN AND I PLAY DRUMS IN 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER THANK YOU FOR COMING TONIGHT I USED TO LIVE IN A HAUNTED HOUSE BUT NOW I MOVED OUT AND ITS ALL THANKS TO YOU GUYS SO....."

 

 

 

 

qualities I look for in a guy:

1. 1/4 of 5sos

2. name is Calum Hood

3. name is Luke Hemmings

4. name is Ashton Irwin

5. name is Michael Clifford

 

 

 

 

IMAGINE IF SIMON COWELL WAS YOUR DAD AND YOU WERE SINGING IN THE SHOWER AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND SAID "ITS A NO FROM ME"

 

 

 

 

I remember the day you told me you were leaving

I remember the hair dye running down your face

*inserts picture of Michael from the ITunes Festival*

 

 

 

 

daddy Michael following his daughter to her movie theater date and seeing her and the boy kissing, so he screams "I WILL NOT FORGET WHAT I JUST SAW CAUSE GOOD GILRS ARE BAD GIRLS THAT JUST GOT CAUGHT COME HOME RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY"

#daddymichael

 

 

 

 

calum trying to feed his baby daughter strained peas for dinner because they're nice and healthy, but after she throws the spoon down for the tenth time, Calum has had enough and tastes it himself and gags and apologizes to his baby daughter, resulting in a swift ban of strained peas in the Hood household.

 

 

 

 

Ashton is one of those people whose whisper is as loud as their speaking voice.

 

 

 

 

sometimes I wish I was friends with 5sos, just so I could reach over and smack them in the head when they are being dumb.

won't your hand get tired?

 

 

 

 

 

YUO KNWO YUOR FORM A FNDAOM WEHNDS YWOU CNA RJEAD AND UJNDERSTAND TJIH PAREATRAPH PERFAECTLY IM LUAGHIGN

 

 

 

 

If luke falls in the forest but no one is around to see it does Michael still laugh

yes.

 

 

 

 

 

3/4 of 5sos will never get lost in a crowd because one is a giraffe, the other has highlighter hair, and the third one has a super loud Australian countryman giggle.

#the fourth would probably be found in the police station for public nudity at some point

 

 

 

 

Calum, Michael, Luke: MIDDLE FINGERS UP IF YOU SONT GIVE A-

Ashton: heck.

 

 

 

 

85% legs+10% lip ring= Luke hemmings

75% hair dye+15% kitten+10% eyebrow piercing= Michael Clifford

80% giggles+10% Kangaroo+10% sunshine= Ashton Irwin

50% biceps+50% booty= Calum Hood

 

 

 

 

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