September 17, 2012
Before I get to why I am calling you that, let me explain. This is a journal, not a diary, even though I don't like people to snoop in here. But let's be honest, "Dear Journal" is close to "Dear Diary," and the name Diary for your actual diary is too cliché. So I decided to name you Autumn. Besides, it seems like I'm writing to a friend of mine, and not to a stupid journal--though I'm not calling you stupid. Promise.
Okay, now that that thing is over with, let me talk to you about my blog. I had set my alarm for seven but instead I woke up at six. Six! That means that I was pretty excited for this whole blog thing, helping people even though they didn't know who I am. I mean, helping on the internet is better than facing the situation face to face with the people, right?
I stumbled out of my bed and quickly went to my bathroom, brushing my teeth and urinating and all of that, the only thing on my mind being the blog. It was a pretty big deal to me, and it still is because I would finally help people. Usually when I tried to stand up for other people or myself, I always backed out. Anyway, after that I went to the kitchen, got a banana, and big bites of it while opening my Acer laptop perched on my white study desk.
I find this really stupid, but instead of a Blogspot blog, I signed up for a Tumblr blog. And I feel that it is stupid because Tumblr is mostly for posting pictures like Instagram and yeah. But you can still create texts posts and people can ask you questions anonymously or with their account and you can answer, which I find very helpful.
So after I made the account with an elegant but simple layout I copied from a layout account, I was pondering about what I should do first. Should I make a post? What if no one would see it? Should I ask myself a question and answer it so I won't look like a loser? Follow random people so they'd follow back and check my blog on the way? I swear, there were so many possibilities and I had a headache just thinking about it. I had to take a swig of water at the kitchen.
Once I got back to my room, I decided I should make a post about what this blog is for. I would put pictures and some quotes to make it appealing. Perfect!
Basically I am here now, now writing rough drafts for the post.
Idea #1: I made a blog, a blog for bullying and giving you advice. I'm sure that you'll love it, so check it out! :) I've been a bystander for I don't remember how many years, and it's great for me to use this blog to help people. Love you guys! <3
Lame idea wow. I just--
Idea #2: We've all gotten hurt in our lives one way or another. sO CHECK MY BLOG OUT IT SPECIALIZES IN BULLYING AND I WANNA HELP U GUYs AND I SWEAR I WANT TO HELP SO COME FOLLOW ME THIS ISN'T FOR ATTENTION I SWEAR! LOVE YOU MWAH.
This idea is a definite no.
Idea #3: Once upon a time I made a blog to help people since I'm a coward who won't stand up to people face to face. It would help if you check my blog out a lot. <3
"Once upon a time . . ." What was I thinking? This isn't kindergarten where I thought fairytales were real.
Idea #4: This blog is for the people who feel useless. For the people who feel like they don't fit in. Who feel like their life is falling apart, whether it's because of bullying or a divorce or whatever. These are for the people who just feel . . . sad. Depressed, even. I'm here to help. Follow me and you'll see. Ask a question, submit a problem, I'm here for you. <3 There are no trigger warnings on this blog. That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. -John Green.
This idea is actually a possibility. The only flaw is that it seems too cliché. I know that John Green's quotes were always attracting people, and the "I'm here to help" and "I'm here for you" phrases seem overused. But it works, at least, for me.
I just wrote it all down, the title being "I love you" (which was quite cheesy, I know, but it was better than "First post! <3"), with the hashtags #bullying #help #loveyou #youreamazing and #sad. I think it seems pretty fascinating. Even my name on the blog was nice, which was "Warrior." The URL wasn't as good, but it still works.
Now I'm hungry again. Time to eat another snack for breakfast #2.
OH MY GOSH. When I got back there was the number three on top of the letter thing on my dashboard. When I clicked it, I grinned like an idiot, wanting to burst out screaming with jubilation which is a synonym for joy.
There were two actual questions, the other from this Tumblr robot. One from an anonymous person said "I'm bullied because I'm bisexual. I'm a guy, but into girls and boys. I get bullied for it. Like WTF! Seriously I don't choose if I get to be straight or not. But still, it hurts when people call me "faggot" or "queer" or even "man-fvcking slut." Like I still like girls... And it hurts and people tell me to cut and sometimes I do and it hurts to much and I'm bullied everyday and please...Help me..." My smile vanished once I read that. And no, not like legit vanished where I had no mouth, more like it turned into a frown. I didn't want to say sorry, because I admit that "I'm sorry" is the thing that everyone detests to hear when they've been through things. So I just wrote what was on my mind.
"You remind me of someone. His name is Kyle. Not that that's important. Just thought I'd let you know that you're not alone. I'm not a miraculous advice giver. All I can tell you is to vent it all out and tell someone. Lots of people support gays and bi's. There are LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Trans-gender and Questioning) clubs for support. And about the bully? Show him that you don't care. After all, it's your life, and no one but yourself can do what you want to with it. (:"
After reading that a billion times, I finally replied, letting the question slip into my blog. The next question was "You care? You're only on the internet."
"Doesn't mean that I don't care." I had replied.
It is only twelve in the afternoon, but I feel like it only took an hour. Right now, I feel as light as a feather. It feels good to help, knowing that I would help people without them knowing who I am.
With helping blogs and caring hearts,
(A/N Hey guys! I really, REALLY like this chapter, and I have to get going because this is for a contest and I need to complete it by the deadline (; Comment, like and add to your reading lists maybe? I love you <33)