October 12, 2012
This day was amazing. I finally did something. I finally stood up for myself. The quote "I'm a coward" doesn't do anything. The phrase isn't even about me. It's about them. It is now about them. Here's the story I can't wait to record it in you Autumn. (Gosh that sounds wrong OMG.)
It's amazing after two days of thinking, you actually do it. I did do it. I feel . . . Words can't describe it.
When I arrived at school, there was a mob of people waiting for me. Already a crowd was forming. The main guy, Malcolm, smirked at me while I walked toward and grabbed me by the hair, pinning me on the brick wall. I moaned in pain. Yup, I'm weak, don't blame me -.-'
I was so scared. He yacked my hair as I felt a pressure on my neck for like ten seconds. I couldn't breathe and I sputtered while everyone laughed. Then the next moment the pressure was gone and everyone was laughing like that was amusing. Amusing, someone getting choked. Amusing, someone getting bullied. Amusing, strippers and girls with big boobs and a firm butt. The world has gone mad.
The usual punches at the same spots came. There were already bruises and some body parts felt numb. Some were tingling and some were hurt. Good thing was instead of my face showing hurt, it showed pride. It motivated them as they punched and kicked harder.
Do something, the little voice in my head said. Do something, say something, do anything. I cringed when a different guy grabbed me by the boobs.
"You're hot, let me screw you," a black-haired guy said, massaging my breasts and squeezing my nipples while sucking my earlobe. Did it give me pleasure? Nope. Did it make me feel disgusted? Yes.
Before I knew what was happening, I pushed him off of me as the bell rang. Most of the people ran to their classes, but not Malcolm nor the guy who was feeling me. "Stop."
"Why babe?" The guy purred, pulling his shirt up a little seductively. Malcolm just smirked, the tips of his mouth forming into a smile. He was surprised by the fact that I spoke. His eyes told the whole story. "You could be mine forever."
"Maybe I don't want to be yours," I spat out, and then I ducked when Malcolm threw a punch at me. I dodged it. I felt myself feel triumphant. I kicked Malcolm in the balls and I did the same thing to the pervy guy. Both of them cursed. "You think this is amusing? Imagine you two being the victims." I kicked them again, adrenaline running through my veins. I felt alive. "Not so sweet, right? You're affecting people's lives, including mine. All I could think of are three words. What," I kicked the guy in the nuts one last hard time while pinning Malcolm on the wall with my hands on his neck. He sputtered as I mocked him, laughing. I didn't care that he had spit on my face. "The," After ten seconds, I let him go and did it to the other guy. "Fuck," I cursed out, suddenly becoming angry. I let go, the bruises not hurting as much. "You guys think you're oh-so-cool, that you're on top of the world, but you're not. You have all these followers? Oh yeah, me too. I have a hundred on Tumblr. I have a thousand on Instagram. You have some." Thank God no witnesses were around. "We all started off with zero. Hitler had thousands while Jesus only had twelve." Yes, I was a Christian. I prayed to God a few nights ago to give me strength. "Just think about it. I'm late." I gave a wave and a smug look while I walked away. They did nothing. The guys said nothing.
I was really proud of standing up for myself, and other people. After that, they had been silent the rest of the day, mumbling responses and being good. They were afraid when they looked at me. When they did, they darted their glances at me. That felt good, them being intimidated by me.
When school was over, Kyle came up to me and gave me a hug. He squeezed me tightly, inhaling my scent.
"Thank you, thank you, praise you," He said while pulling away. "Thank you so much!" And then he ran away, screaming. I thought wow to myself.
This is amazing. That was amazing.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
With craziness, joyfulness and faith,