September 24, 2012
I'm sorry I didn't write to you for like five days! I'm so so so sorry. I've been busy with homework and the blog and ways to make me stand up to myself. It's actually been going pretty good.
These five days have been really . . . hectic. More bullying in the school (crying about that btw, it's so sad), more questions and almost fifty followers (SQUEAL! :D), and Kyle kept his chin up high, despite the hate that had been going towards him. (Points for Kyle! <3)
But today was a sad day. I got hate for my blog. I mean, come on, who hates on a blog? It's so stupid, I mean it's just a blog, nonetheless a blog that helps people. I posted links about suicide and pictures that make me laugh and all that and it has been a success! The people who hated have no heart and is totally scared of the hate towards them back. They're anonymous! Ha! Joke's on them, I have my followers.
"Lol why make this blog? It's the most sh^ttiest blog I've ever seen." That was one. It made me laugh.
"Why don't you reveal yourself!? You're just a coward who's afraid to stand up for herself (ik ur a girl)" Another said, which hurt me a little because I was a coward. But you see, Autumn, I didn't want you to know that, even if you are just a journal.
"Just do die. U R helping none 1." The grammar and spelling was all over the place, I couldn't take that seriously.
But there was one question that made my hairs stick up, and I felt so sad about my answer and the question but I had to answer it truthfully. I was staring at it and it was sent yesterday. It was too bad the person who asked that didn't have an account. I couldn't answer it privately.
"What are you afraid of?" The question asked as I stared. Finally I typed in my reply, sending it to my blog.
"I'm afraid of standing up for myself and other people. I'm afraid of letting people know who I am. Don't make these your fears too. I'm just a coward."
The truth? It's all in the answer, 'cause I am afraid of that, and I am a coward.
I've gotten a BUNCH of comments saying that I saved the person's life. Really flattering, must I say, but it's too bad I can't go to wherever they live and give them a big fat hug. I want to give every single one of my followers and askers and bully victims that.
I wrote ^ that while I was eating cereal for breakfast before checking my blog. Now I'm writing because when I saw this question my heart skipped so many beats and thumped so fast I couldn't think. I wanted to scream. I almost did. The question wouldn't affect much people that much, to be honest, but it affected me.
"Who are you?" The question asked. If I say my name people from school would know who I am. They would bully me and I didn't want that. People would start assuming things, like I'm a lesbian (which I'm not!), that I'm helping people 'cause I'm suicidal (Again, I'm not!), and other things like that.
So instead I answered with "I'm just an average teenager."
I'm sweating now, I kind of regret it but at the same time I don't. Is that bad? :/
Oh, Dad's calling me now. Time to go log of Tumblr and shut my laptop off. Bye! <3
With good hate and average teenage hormones,