*** When I woke up for the first time was it about 11:45, almost noon. I sit right on my bed, and I touch my head. Oh God, I have an head ache. I really shouldn't have drunk that much yesterday. I stand up and walk downstairs, hoping that my mom isn't home. I came abit later than I should, and I really hope she isn't mad. I walk to the kitchen and she isn't there, thank God. I take a bit water really quiet and I grab also an Paracetamol. Once I had that inside of me, I walk to the living room. My mom was there, and she was watching some noon program on the television. I walk to the other couch and sit down, looking at my feet. 'Good morning, Liam. Well almost noon' 'Good morning mom' I say quiet. I know she is looking at me, so I can't look up at her. 'You know you did something wrong did you?' she starts. 'Yes mom, I know.' 'Well tell me why you did' 'I just got caught up in the moment and we lost the time. I really didn't do it on purposes. I also brought an other friend home, he also needed to be home at two and we decided we should leave together.' I smile a little at the thought of Niall. 'You can get away with it for now, but you will have to prove you are able to be a grown man, Liam' 'I will mom' 'And who was that other friend?' 'Uhm, I just met him yesterday but it's a really kind guy but he's also very fragile so I couldn't let him leave there alone or I also couldn't leave him going home by himself. He also wasn't really sober anymore' 'Did he came alone to that party?' 'No he was with his best friend, but he was totally drunk and he was with his other friend.' 'And Zayn and Nash what about them?' 'They were getting into some girls and I was just with Niall. They also didn't got an hour to be home and Niall's friend either' 'Oh, I get it. Maybe you can bring that new friend of you home sometime? I want to meet your friends, I love it' 'Sure mom, I will ask it.' I stand up and walk to her and kiss her cheek. 'I love you, mom' 'Yes darling, I love you too. But please take a shower you smell like alcohol very badly' 'Uhm, sorry and okay' I say awkward when I stand up and walk upstairs again. I walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower and close the door again. I strip down my clothes and get under it. And I start repeating yesterday night all over again. And then I all of a sudden remember it... I kissed Niall! And I started it! I remember things I didn't knew anymore, when I was downstairs. It was just a kiss out of the blue because I was drunk, right? Yeah ofcourse it was that. I'm straight for sure, but I haven't seen Niall when I was sober. Well I maybe will in a couple of days. I hope I don't feel anything, I can't feel anything.! I come out of the shower and I put an sweat pants on, and a normal red shirt, and also a pair of gyms. I need to forget about some things so i'm going for a run. That's better I suppose. I go downstairs and take my Ipod out of the charger. I put it in my pocket and take my headset and put it around my neck. 'I'm going for a run' I say when I walk into the livingroom. 'Is there something wrong? You always go for a run when something isn't right' 'No, mom. Everything is fine' Your only damn son is just thinking of maybe being gay...! I get on the street an immediately I start running. My Ipod is playing on the loudest, and the song that is coming out in my ears is Stay with me from Sam Smith. I love him, he has such a beautiful voice. When the song almost was on his end, my phone goes of. A text. So I stop running for a second and I take my phone out of my pocket. From unknow.
Hey Liam, it's Niall. That boy from yesterday. I remember you, do you remember me?
This is the last thing I really needed, right now. A text from Niall, it's really sweet though. Ofcourse I remembered him, those blue eyes it's not normal. 'Liam, stop it!' I yell out loud. And I start running again. How can I feel this way? It's not normal! It's sick! And if I am, than I'm sick too. *** 'You can't do this to me Louis! I love you, please don't let me go now' 'You should tell your friends what we did, and you should tell what you have Harry!' 'I can't Lou, please understand me! We love each other' 'I will be here for you, but you can't hide everything for your best friends. I hate that I can't kiss you anymore, I love you and I have hurt you too and I will always be here for you but please please tell them some day.' 'I will try but I can't' 'From now on it will always go worse, in a month you have to get inside for your surgery Harry please, just please promise you will tell someone' Louis says to me when he sits down, next to me. I'm crying and I just want it to be done. 'I don't know if I can. I'm not strong enough anymore' 'Ofcourse you can! And you will be better after this all' he says looking at me. I start to cry even harder. 'Hey,hey. Stop crying babe, crying is for the weak ones' he says taking me into his arms. 'You can't come near to me, Lou' 'I can do whatever I want' 'No, you will-' he cut me of with pressing his lips into mine. It felt so long ago, I missed his kisses and I missed him. I love him, and I don't want to do this all. When we pull away I finish my sentence. 'You will get sick' 'No, I won't because I have you' 'I love you' I say while my last tears stream down my face. 'I love you too, Haz' he says while he wipes my tears away I wish I just could forget my whole existence right now... *** I'm for about 1 and a half in the library now and Liam didn't have sent a text back. Maybe he all regrets it from yesterday, I'm not saying that I don't regret it. But it's not such a big deal, we were both so drunk and we didn't even know what we were doing so it's better that we don't talk about that anymore. I would love to stay friends with him, he's a really kind and funny guy. He's nice. And I don't think I can trust Harry much these days, there is something wrong with him. But what I don't even know, I want to know because I want to help but I'm not going to drag it out of him. He will tell m when the time is right, and then I'll be there to help him out of all his problems. But I swear to God if Louis did something really bad to Harry. I don't know what but I'll do something that's not going to be really good. And then, I have to ask my mom about that “other son” they have. I can't live with the fact that I have a brother but I don't know him. If he's my family than he belongs into my house together with our parents. Maybe it's a son from my dad but not from my mom, or otherwise that boy did something very bad that they couldn't stand and he had to move out. Oh, the more I think about it the more I want to know. Me having a brother would be great for me, I would have someone who I can talk with and where I can share my secrets without knowing they go around the town. It would make me feel better than I feel now, I will have someone that loves me than. I think, I hope, I wish.