Yesterday was a long but perfect day. I had a lot fun together with Niall. The things I thought in the beginning don't matter anymore. If it turns out that I'm in love with Niall or just a boy. Who cares? There are so many people gay. And it doesn't matter for them too. I over reacted that day. I know now. I like being with Niall, and I sure think he likes being with me. My friends, or at least my old friends they are being jerks to me. I don't tell Niall about it. Because I don't want him to worry about me, or my life.
They are calling me names, and I act like I don't care. But I actually do, it's because they were my 2 best friends for God's sake. 7 years of being mates, and they just throw it away? Like it was nothing for them. And just because they think I'm gay, what I even don't am. And from Zayn I would understand because he said it from the beginning that he doesn't liked how gay persons acted. But Nash, I really don't understand what's going on with him. Maybe the two of them planned this all along, and just made a really good reason for it. I don't know, and to be honest I don't want to know. I'm glad I have Niall now, I understand his best friend is Harry but Harry is with Louis many times. Niall is like that little sparkle I missed the past years, a sparkle that could light up my whole life. And I'm glad it was Niall, he is so kind and sweet, from the beginning. And that's what I love about him, plus all the perfect things about him ofcourse: his shining baby blue eyes and that blonde fluffy hair, his Irish accent and most of all just who he is. His amazing personality. That's what I love about Niall. Oh! One of the important things I forgot! His amazing and always happy laugh. 'Liaam!' my mom yells from downstairs 'yeah, coming!' I run downstairs and the smell of an amazing dinner is in the whole room + a cake in the oven. Niall will like that, he loves to eat. I smile to myself. 'Hi love, I have a question' 'Yeah?' 'Is it only Niall that comes for dinner?' 'Uhm, yeah who else would it be?' 'I don't know Nash or Zayn or both' 'Uhm, no. You aren't going to be seeing them anymore, mom' 'Why not?' she asks with a worried expression on her face. 'we are in a huge fight, and it isn't going to be fixed anymore' 'Please Liam, they are your friends for almost 8 years!' 'Yeah mom, I'm hurt about it too and I do care. But they started it and they aren't going to make it better anytime soon. Only worse I think' 'Tell me what happend' 'No, I don't want to discust it. And I also don't want that you say they are right' 'I will never let you down, you need to understand that' 'I'm not so sure mom' I say and walk upstairs again. I hate it, the way she makes me feel about this whole situation. If she only would know.
About an hour later
From Ni<3: Hey how are you? I'm on my way, almost there. See u soon, love xxx I smile, finely he is almost here. It will be alot better, and my mom will understand him like I do. She will see that he is special to me, and that he lights my world up without any further contact. And then maybe after it I could tell what happend with Nash and Zayn. To Ni<3: Great, can't wait to see u! xxx I already walk downstairs and see that my mom is setting the table. 'Niall is almost here' I say 'Okay great love' She didn't forget it about our discusstion she is just preparing things, she will come back to it after Niall is gone. *Ding, Dong* 'I'll get it mom' I go to open the door and when I open it, Niall stands there with a big smile on his face and a big bouquet of flowers. 'Hey love' I say and he walks inside. I close the door and I go to him too hug. We stay there for a little while and he lays his head in the crook of my neck. 'Uhm, boys?' I hear my mom say, Fuck, everytime. She is walking out of the kitchen with a bowl in her hands. She places in on the table and we walk over to her. 'Hi ma'am, I'm Niall. And this is for you' Niall says to my mom while holding his bouquet to her. 'Liam! He's Irish! You never told me that! I love Irish people! And thank you very much, Niall. You didn't have to do that' 'Yes mom he's Irish' I laugh 'No poblem, ma'am' 'Please darling Niall, you aren't going to call me ma'am the whole day are you? Just call me Helen alright' 'Alright Helen' he says and I smile. 'So boys, we can go on table to eat. Oh Niall darling, is there anything you don't eat?' 'Well no, I eat about everything' he laughs and I laugh with him. 'handy' my mom says when she walks to the kitchen. Me and Niall sit next to each other and my mom sits infront of me. 'How was the ride to here?' 'It's not that far away, it was easy to find. I drove myself' He says very happy. 'That's great, Niall' I say My mom finely sits down, 'let's eat' After a while of eating my mom starts to talk, 'So how did you guys exactly met?' Me and Niall look at each other and he is getting so red as a tomato. We both thought about our kiss ofcourse. 'I sat alone at the bar on that party, and Liam was so gentle to come and sit with me' 'Oh, and they you both thought "let's drink our asses off" ' 'Well, something like that' 'I'm glad you found each other, you are both very happy' 'Yes, I'm indeed happy that I found Liam that night. It's 2 weeks since I've met him, but I couldn't live with him anymore now. We spend a lot of time together, and I would miss that if it would be taken away from me' 'It won't Niall, I'll be always by your side.' 'Friends for life, Liam' my mom says and we both smile at her and than stare at each other. We are friends for life, I know. Like a bond, but a very strong one. Because I thought me , Zayn and Nash had also a bond. But that lasted not that long as I thought. 'And what do you do as hobby?' my mom asks She asks so many questions, he must think he's in some show. 'Well, I love to read and I also write things. It's not a hobby like anyone else, but it just fits me' 'No, it's lovely. Books need to be wrote down, but also need to be read' 'Indeed' That's something I didn't knew from Niall. I knew he spends alot of time in the library, but it could also be for the computer or something. After the dinner we helped my mom with the dishes and than I took Niall upstairs to my room. 'Your mom her dinner was soo goooddd' Niall moans when he sits down on my bed. 'Yeah, she always makes good stuff' I say back. I take my shoes of and sit on the other side of the bed. And he lays his head down on my lap facing me. 'You know, Niall. You are that sparkle that I needed in my life' 'No, I'm not. You are my sparkle, forever and always' he says looking right into my eyes. 'I'm in love with your eyes' 'I'm in love with your lips' 'Maybe you should kiss them?' 'I don't want to create a kind of feeling, that will never be true' 'Babe, I'm trying to find myself everyday right now. And you are the person to start that, your kiss made me feel great. And the feeling in my belly, grew into my head. Because I want to get it back' 'Are you saying, you are figering out if your gay?' 'Maybe that's what I ment, yeah' 'Can I be the person to make that feeling come back to you?' 'You started the feeling, Niall' 'Please kiss me again' I start leaning down and my lips almost touch his, I feel his breath in my own mounth. And I like it, it feels great. Just when we are about to kiss, and kiss very deeply. 'Liam?! Can you come downstairs please?' From the shock Niall felt off the bed and made his way to the ground. 'I-I I'm so so sorry, uhm. I'll be right back' That is just a thing I hated about my mom, she always kinda knew when she had to interupt something. 'MOM? What's the matter?' 'I need to go' 'And you just can't yell that?' 'Oh, I'm sorry did I interupted something?' 'You kinda did. See you this evening' When I walk upstairs again, I'm able to find an empty room and a open window. A little note was laying down on my head pillow. I felt like crying, why did he left?
Lovely Liam, It's better that I get going.
I don't want anything else, I don't want you to be hurt and I don't want myself hurt too.
But please know. I didn't regret it, Liam.
Much love, Niall -xxx
This is not what I wanted, I didn't want him to feel this way. What have I done?!