What I Want

Do you know what it's like to want something so badly, with your whole entire body, as soon as you lay eyes on it? Well, that's what it was like the moment I first saw him. It was like the feeling I got when I practice my music, play around with my art, or even how it felt to help out Earth's creatures. Yes, it was like all those feelings, but better... *Parents' perfect angel pretending to be somethings she really isn't...What happens when the real her comes out? Can she keep living the classical life her parents raised her to have, or will she be chased to where there's no return?

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2. Nothing is ever as it seems...

 

        My name is Charlotte Josephine Raquel Tyler Williams, or Charlie Jo, to some people. My family is what you would call rich, with a big name and live a classy life. We are not snobby or only care about money, we just have that fancy-looking way of living. You know, own a big successful company, live in a rich neighborhood in a huge house with all those rooms and luggeries that are really unnecessary, and have a business dinner or showoff party almost every night and tea parties on the weekends. We have that one family that we always get together with, you know, "friendly rivalry" and all. They have a son my age, Terrance. He is, according to our parents, my "boyfriend" and future husband, since they plan on using us to merge their two companies one day.

        The idea is he drives me to school everyday and we hang out with our other society buddies, when, in reality, he drops me off outside the neighborhood and I walk to school with my best friends Emma and Lynzie. There, we meet up with the twins, Staycee and Skyler. We are pretty much a small group of misfits, but that's what brings us together. That, and our hate for stuck up, snobby rich people. Or should I say, Terrance and his circle of no good teenage boys and, to be all honest, straight forward, and for lack of a better word, sluts. He thinks he can get whatever he wants just because of who he is, or really, who his parents are. People worship him and let him get away with everything. And me? I have to keep up my good girl image, showing off to make mummy and daddy look good.

I'd hate to disappoint them. That can't happen...

        I'm not who everyone thinks I am. Nobody knows the real me, because I'm not allowed to show it. I am everything my parents want me to be, nothing more and certainly nothing less.They raised me to be prioritized, submissive, and obedient. I do everything they tell me to and never go against their wishes. Even when it goes against my own and everything I've ever believed in.

       I don't need a big house or expensive things to be happy, I only need my parents. And that's what they've always failed to see, that having them be away on business or at work all damn day, being practically raised by the maid and the neighbors was not a good childhood. And I don't know how to make them see that being dragged to some showoff party is not family time, it's still work. And I've always hated being shown off by my parents, I mean, can't they just be proud of me for being me, instead of dressing me up and asking me to "please, please, please, be on your best behavior" and pretty much be the opposite of myself.

        I seem to say that a lot, that I'm not who people think I am. But it's true! People only see me as my parents daughter, as a princess, a goody goody, the girl who does everything she's told to do and does it perfectly. That's not true, I have to strive to do everything perfect, to do everything right, I have to bust my ass to meet my parents expectations. I dress how my parents want me to, do what my parents want me to, and speak the way they want me to. But I'm not perfect, I'm a teenager, I cuss, I make mistakes. I have my own likes and dislikes. So what if I prefer black and other dark colors over light and neutral colors? So what if I like loud music with electric guitars and pounding drums? So what if I don't get along with everybody, so what if I am shy, and prefer to be closed up inside myself rather than be shown off to the whole entire world? Everyone is different, and I can't help it if I'm like the people I'm set up with.

       Take Terrance, for instance, and his slut Carla. Carla is like us, rich parents, big name, but instead of being that kid parents would love to have, she is the opposite. A true terror. If my parents saw what she was really like, there's no way they'd let me anywhere near her. But still, she is who my parents think is my best friend, who my boyfriend Terrance and I hang around. In reality, they have each other, which is fine by me, because they both disgust me in their own ways and it's bad enough I even have to share the same school with them.

        I have real friends, I don't need to hang out with people who can't stand me, or I them. I have people I can be my real self around, people who accept me, understand me, and believe in me. As for having a real boyfriend, I haven't found him yet, have never had that crushing feeling. Nobody would want to deal with my parents, and who would ever want to date a boring girl who did everything she's told to?

       One thing I got going for me is art. I love art, I could sketch and sketch all day long if I could. Sadly, that is irrational, and painting is more traditional, so I am a painter. I also love the art of music, and my parents allow me to listen to whatever I want through my head phones, but for their ears, it's only classical music. I love playing the piano, which my parents are okay with. They personally prefer the violin, which I am forced to play. I secretly have a guitar in my room, which I taught myself to play long ago. My favorite instrument is the drums, something I wish I could learn to play, but never will...but again, that's our little secret...

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