The Long Haired Beast of Tra'al

His name was Larry. But don't call him that unless you'd like to be eaten.

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2. Why are you people reading this?

    When they said, “shipped off into space”, they hadn’t been joking. Larry was put in a small shuttle and fired off into space. He had no guidance system, no map of the galaxy and no cell phone to call for a pizza if he got hungry. All he had was a small pile of radishes. The even refused to give him fresh meat. 

    Larry looked out the portal window of his shuttle glumly. Where would he land? Would he ever land? Maybe he’d float around in space until he starved to death. It was lucky that he didn’t need air to live, because there was very little of that in the tiny shuttle. 

    “GGRrrrgrRRGggrRR,” Larry said to himself, encouragingly. “GRRRggrrrRRGrggRGRG!”

    Having reminded himself of that, he felt a little better. In fact, he felt a lot better. Those wise words never failed to turn a bad day into a good one, even if that day was so bad that he was carted off in a spaceship and exiled from his home planet. That was some powerful advice.

    At this point, it may be helpful to note that Larry can only speak in english when speaking with other people who also speak in english and when he wants to speak in english himself. If he wants not to be understood, he is not understood. Similarly, if he wants everyone to know what he is saying, everyone knows what he is saying. He is a magnificent beast.

    Which is why he mostly communicates with grunts. Gosh, that’s so refined.

    Suddenly, a planet appeared outside of Larry’s portal window. It just snuck right up on him. Like, boom. One minute - empty space; the next minute - planet! “Grrr?”

    It was tiny, way smaller and more insignificant than Tra’al. Larry bet it smelled like pineapples.

    He HATED pineapples.

    Anyway, it seemed as good a stop as any for him to terrorize as he had no valid reason for the pineapple theory. Maybe there would even be people to eat. He had developed quite a taste for flesh and blood. Larry reached over and pushed a button on the dashboard with his stubbly little claws and poked right through the plastic. His claws were razor sharp. Regardless, that did the job and within minutes, they were hurtling towards the ear- er, the planet. He didn’t know what it was called.

    Larry didn’t really care what was waiting for him down there. All he wanted was a nice smoothie to wash down his first meal of whatever indigenous species he could find on this random blue and green planet. And if this planet didn’t have smoothies, he was out of there.

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