Larry sighed, his trademark long hair wavering with the vibration. It was a great, heaving sigh. The type of sigh that just stretched deep into his soul and left it bare for everyone to see.
Larry was sad.
Here he was, on his home planet of Tra’al, in his favorite grove of unripe radishes, but his favorite food didn’t appeal to him today. He was in a peachy mood. There weren’t any peaches around. He sighed again.
Across the grove was a herd of other beasts, the ones whom he was supposed to be hanging out with. The ones who were supposed to be his friends. A few wandered closer, but no matter.
Larry didn’t have friends.
All of the other beast were Short Haired Beasts of Tra’al. They thought Larry’s long hair was stupid. They called him a hippie, Rapunzel, and other incredibly hurtful names. I mean, what respectable beast named Larry would like being called Rapunzel? The outrage. Larry sighed yet again and munched on a radish.
“Hey! Larry!” one of the Short Haired Beasts named Steve called. “You smell.”
Larry continued to munch. He wanted to protest that he collected much more sweat than his short haired companions, but Larry was a peaceful beast. He wouldn’t go attack them. He’d never hurt a soul. Why do you think he was eating radishes and not people? He was a nice Long Haired Beast.
“Hey!” another called. “What kind of name is ‘Larry’ anyway?”
The others snickered. That beast’s name was Gary. Larry sighed. Again. He did that a lot. But it was better than eating people, so hey.
“Hey!” Steve called. “Larry! Your hair makes you look like a coconut!”
He didn’t move.
He didn’t even sigh.
He just froze.
Just like it said -
“What did you call me?” he repeated in a deadly voice.
“A coconut!” Garry spoke up.
That was the last straw.
Larry hated coconuts.
Larry snapped. He came barreling down the hill, squishing radishes beneath is feet without a care. The Short Haired Beasts were much smaller than Larry, partially due to their lack of hair. They didn’t need a bulky frame to support the weight. That was fortunate...
He ate the first in one gulp and was so full, he didn’t think he’d be able to fit Steve down as well. But, surprise, surprise, he did.
Larry flopped over, feeling ridiculously stuffed. The world grew groggy - or maybe it was Larry that grew groggy. He heard someone shouting something about the terrible crime he’d committed and how he’d be shipped off into space, but it didn’t make an impression. Larry was happy.
Larry was crazy.
Larry was bloodthirsty.
And, somehow, Larry was still hungry.