Ah, autumn isn't far away, actually it is September 22nd, my the time has flown
I'm busy with working at the bookstore and shifts at work, my spare time, usually either stargazing with Fred, or spending time with my nephew Sebastian. My he's grown, so cute, everyone is captivated by him, he's three months old now, such a good boy, we all spoil him, Stefan is visiting them at the weekend, finally there's peace.
Leah is motoring round and beginning to take shifts at the hospital, she's still glowing, she still gets a little blue, but that's to be expected.
Hunter, wow, he's doting caring and still a pain, always asking for information about Joan of Arc, I have a surprise in store for them, just wait.
Okay I must go, bookstore is about to open but all in all things are as they should be.
The front door slammed shut. "I can't do this. I just can't." I'm storing through the house. Stefan looked up, from his book.
Carlisle came in quickly behind me, "Leah relax. We did everything we could."
I whipped around, "We did? WE DID? That mother lost her child. She lost her husband. She has nothing now!" I'm emotional.
Hunter walked out wiping his hands, "Shh you'll get Sebastian upset."
I'm out in the back garden when I hear the door slam and Leah's raised voice, I walk into the kitchen and motion for Leah to come out back. Watching a child die is hard and to lose you're partner too.
I walked outside, and storming down the stairs. The patio is inviting with fall flowers surrounding it. A cup of coffee is waiting for me. "Alice." She saw it, and someone made sure it was ready for me. I was heartbroken for this woman. It crushed me.
I'm not sure what to say or do, I walk out from behind the flowers, "Yes, Alice and I sortted this, come and sit down."
I look at Ara, "The baby was Sebastian's age." I swallowed, massaging my temples. The headache was crushing me, and I was crabby.
I grab her hand, this is impulse, "I'm sorry sweetie, when we are called we have to answer, yes it is hard, especially since the baby was Sebastian's age but I know you all did whatever it took to try and save them," I hang my head a second, gathering my thoughts, "it is never easy Leah and this is coming from someone who has lived far beyond her time, just try and let it wash over you."
I looked at her, and nodded. "It's my first time losing two patients in one day."
Stefan walked out quietly, "This little boy is looking for you." Stefan handed Sebastian to me, and sat down. I cradled him close, inhaling his scent. "I'm quite old. To this day, a piece of me aches for the ones I've lost. You know you're doing your job right, when you're upset for those who've lost." I looked at Stefan, then Ara.
"Old souls, with wise teachings." Sebastian cooed, and grabbed my finger. "I love you sweetheart."
I nod, "There was a time a long time ago, world war 1, I know this may pale in comparison but in less than 12 hours I lost at least 39 soldiers, all under my care, I was horrified," I look round and see Stefan, he looks happier but still haunted, "Hi Stefan, I have never lost anyone close to me, because I never had anyone," I pat Stefan just after he hands Sebastian to Leah, "very true my friend, without emotion we are robots, you did your job." I watch as Sebastian wriggles, although my heart aches, I don't think I was ever cut out for having children.
Stefan looked at Ara, "Loss, is loss. It zaps us of that happiness. It's hard, when we fought for those innocent ones." He smiled. I looked at Sebastian, and stayed quiet, stroking his cheek. "Something else is troubling you. Talk to us please."
"A trouble shared is a trouble halved," I smile, "so I've been told."
Stefan patted my hand, "You're safe."
I swallowed, just as Hunter joined us, "Dr. Martin thinks Sebastian might be it for us." Hunter rubbed my arm, and looked at our friends.
I stroked the softness of his skin. He wore an adorable blue, and white striped shirt, and khaki colored shorts. Stefan looked at Ara, shocked.
I raise an eyebrow, "Somehow I doubt that," looking round, "what, it's gut instinct," smiling my sneaky smile, "I have something for you both, well something to give you two." I'm babbling but I'm more than excited.
I smile, "You're definitely a Cullen, especially with gift giving."
Stefan looked at us, "Why does he think that?"
I bit my lip. Hunter held my hand, "Well there's been some concerns. Her body phasing, it's not aging again. She's been fighting it as you know."
I look at Stefan, "Care to hold him?"
He shook his head, "I spent most of the afternoon doing that actually."
Sebastian is tired, and started to doze off against my chest.
Carlisle walked out, "The body freezes, and doesn't allow her to have a normal cycle. That's why he thinks this would be it. Before she hadn't phased in six or so years. Now it's unpredictable."
Hunter smiled, "I'm blessed with with whatever I have."
"Well, gotta do something right," I whisper to Leah, "you my dear are blessed, don't count all the eggs, not yet," looking innocent, it is nice to be relaxing with company, i listen to the conversation going on, I still think Lucas is wrong, time will tell, clapping my hands, "Okay ladies man, do you remember, quite some time ago, when you were trying to figure me out? What did you say to Leah over my shoulder?" I wink at Stefan.
"That I wanted to see your statue in France." Hunter spoke nonchalantly. I handed Sebastian to dad, and closed my eyes, listening.
I laugh, "HA, but yes, you are right, well," I pull out an envelope from my jacket pocket and hand it to Hunter, "take a look, lucky one." Again I laugh and wink. Actually they'll both be going!
Hunter opened the envelope, and his jaw dropped, "Oh my god! How though? I have school, and Sebastian."
Carlisle smiled, "Family can watch him."
Stefan smiled, "It's only a weekend."
"Already sorted, you have a week off, as for little Sebastian he can stay with me, Stefan can help, plus with Fred mucking about with his business venture thing, we haven't really been talking much," I shrug my shoulders, "three days, actually, five if you include the day you fly out and the day you arrive back, also I have booked you two into the penthouse suite at the Hilton in Paris, overlooking the city, a nurse will also be on stand by, in case of emergency plus I've made sure a limo with driver will take you any place you guys need to go." I sit back with a look of triumph and happiness on my face, I high five Stefan.
Fred walked up quietly, and smiled, "My business huh? He kissed Ara's cheek, and looked at her."
"Okay fine blondie you win, I promise to take five days off, if you do,"
Stefan returned her high five.
"A nurse?" I asked unsure of why we may need one. I looked at Hunter, "When do we leave?"
Looking at Leah, "your hormones are still getting back into order, it is a precaution only, you guys leave next weekend."
I looked at Ara, "Hybrid, Vampire or Wise Human nurse?"
Standing up and planting a kiss on Fred's lips, "deal?" I give him my most innocent look. "Hun, remind me to go to the jewelers tomorrow, I need to buy a wedding ring, that should ward off any advances by guys." I huff and answer Leah, "human."
Fred kissed her back. "I'm sorry work has been chaotic. It's been good though. At least your line of work isn't. Must be pretty dead." Stefan nearly fell off his chair laughing. I shook my head. Leave it to Fred, the wise ass. Hunter looked at me, and grinned.
Stefan chuckled, "Well I'm assuming the honeymoon phase hasn't died."
At that I wanted to die. "Ok, you guys need to stop hanging around Emmett." Carlisle laughed, cradling Sebastian.
I stand up, "No I guess it isn't but hell it takes a lot, anyway they were living breathing humans once, you are cruel," I fold my arms trying hard not to smile, I lightly slap Stefan round the head, "you need a girlfriend, seriously," sighing I burst out laughing, "trust them to pick up Emmett's habit, why not Jasper?" I sit back down, "just you wait Freddy, and I will have my revenge Stefan." I lean back and begin laughing again.
Carlisle smiled, "Oh Jasper can be fresh. Trust me."
Stefan smiled, "Excitement is part of the passion of love. So it's a good thing." Stefan took my hand, and placed a kiss on it. I smiled, watching Carlisle. I watched as Fred pulled out a small black box, and got down on one knee.
"Ara, I love you. Everyday we spend together, makes me a better person. You've shown me how much this world has to offer. I want you to be with me forever. Not just as a mate, but as my wife." He opened the box, and there was a beautiful diamond ring. "Will you do me the honor, and become my wife?"
"Oh really? Hmmmm thoughts tracking through my devious mind," I shake my head, "passion resides in the heart, soul and spirit, the last guy I really liked was violent, I told Leah and laughed it off, he was stupid, so was I," I see Fred get down on one knee, my mouth clamps shut and my eyes grow wide, I can't hold back, hot salty tears run down my cheeks but vampires don't cry, I am so lost for words I stay quiet a moment, I get down on both knees with tears still streaming down my cheeks, "I-I-I-I-." The words won't come out. Vampires don't cry like humans can. Emotions are crashing over me at a million a second.
Fred looked at me nervously. "Ara? Please say something." He wiped away her tears, "You're crying?"
Hunter was a bit perplexed.
I feel like I can't breathe, but surely that is not possible, looking at Fred, it is impossible to speak, tears carry on flowing, I take Fred's hand to my cheek, I'm trying to speak, a deep breath, "Y-y-y-y." My head feels like it is spinning, I try to focus, still the words remain trapped.
I get up quickly, and go over to Ara, "Hun sit down, relax ok. Fred she's in shock, don't worry." I rub her back, as poor Fred looks absolutely frazzled.
I just make it to the chair, flopping back the chair flies backwards with me still in it, landing on the floor I don't even react, but I get up and try speaking again, "You," another tear escapes, I best say this fast in case the words become trapped, "you are the other half of my soul, if it wasn't for you, all of you, I don't know where I'd be," my hands shake, "I love you and would do anything to make sure you're happy," I feel another flood, quickly, "yes, now and forever, always."
Fred scooped her up so fast, I was amazed he was able to get the ring on her finger. He kissed her deeply, and spun her around. "I will take your last name." He smiled. I smiled watching them, and heard the wind chimes, but there was no wind. I turned around watching them, Stefan spoke, "What is Leah staring at?"
I kiss Fred hard on the lips, "Wow that was a rush," Fred gently puts me down but refuses to let go of me, I hear the windchimes and smile, looking up towards the door, her father is there, smiling, I smile back and tell Stefan, "the windchimes are a sign for her." I smile.
I turn to look at the windchimes. There's no breeze. Then I see him, or so I think. He's turned, and starts around the house. I stand up, and start to follow.
Stefan spoke, "Ah, I was curious. There's no wind," he smiled.
My dad is on the side of the house, and I'm trying to catch up with him. "Dad," I call out. Once I'm at the front of the house, it's as though he's vanished. I look around. He was there.
Hunter got up, and followed, "Baby come back please."
Her father begins what I assume is a quick check that everything is in order, "it is a connection for her," I smile, I sit on Fred's lap and watch Leah wander inside. Hunter follows her, now I'm curious as to why she has wandered inside.
Stefan asked, "Is he gone? They've stopped."
Carlisle quietly snuggled with the baby. Fred held Ara, smiling. "Leah what's going on?"
I nod my head, "Yes," turning to Fred, "do you know my abilities and who I am?" Hunter aska Leah a question, I look puzzled.
Fred smiled, "I know who you were in your past. Your abilities to a degree. I'm still a little stuck on the God one." He smiled bashfully.
"My dad was there at the wind chimes, then he started walking, I wanted to see him."
I whisper in Fred's ear, "That's a new one, that will never be active but, the god killer element is rare, only person has it, other than Archangel Gabriel, basically it is the power over death, if you can control the person with it, they can give the person instructions, one touch and bye bye, if it fell into the wrong hands, disaster." I hear Leah's reply, she can't have seen him, it just is not possible.
Fred looks astonished, "Oh wow."
Stefan nodded, "It's why Vladimir wanted her so badly. Did she see her father?" Carlisle is listening.
"Baby he's not here. He's been gone for a long time." Hunter stroked my cheek.
Stefan smiled, "We're all safe."
"I saw him." I protested.
"Anything shocks you hun," I giggle, looking at Stefan I take his hand, "he thinks I am dead, so it will never be used or activated, in part I have you to thank for saving me." I kiss Stefan's hand.
Yes he's been gone a while, so how would Leah see him? There's a little throb at the side of my head. "She couldn't have Stefan." I whisper.
Carlisle looked slightly concerned, "It could be a hallucination. If that's the case, we need to find out. She could be quite ill."
Stefan spoke up, "She complained of a headache, is that common for her?"
Fred shook his head. "Leah has never complained of one in all the time I've known her."
I nod at Stefan in agreement, I go and stand with Carlisle, "could be a multitude of things, nervous breakdown, anything," the throb at the side of my head is still there, "hun can you dirve me home? I think I might be having sympathy pains for Leah." I chuckle.
Carlisle sighed, "She's seemed chipper. That could be a cover. That's the last thing we, or anyone needs."
Fred nodded, and said his goodbyes, and walked her to the car.
Stefan ran, to catch up."Can we speak tomorrow?"
Carlisle heard the commotion in the house.
"Leah he wasn't there." Hunter was stressed by his tone of voice.
"You don't believe me." I questioned him.
Hunter shook his head, "Leah you've gone through so much. Plus you're experiencing a headache, and see your dead father."
I was hurt, "I'm not crazy."
Hunter spoke softly, holding my hands, "No, but you might be sick."
I can hear the conversation from the car, Stefan runs up, "Are you ok?"
"Should be, fancy a ride?"
Fred starts the engine, Stefan climbs in the back, I put my hand up to Fred, he cuts the engine, I can hear the commotion, "I can't leave her like this, I feel like I'm abandoning her somehow."
Fred put his arm around me, "Sure you can cope?"
"I'm sure, I will see you in about an hour at home, sorry to be such a pain in the backside, see you there Stefan."
I walk back in to what I can only describe as the silence after world war 3.
Carlisle had come in, and putting together for our dinner.
"I'm not sick God damn it. He was right there." I was fuming.
Hunter sighed, and touched my cheek, "Baby my mom had a brain tumor. Started out at as a headache."
I pulled away, "Because I have a headache, I'm terminally ill."
Hunter shook his head, "No I'm just saying, a hallucination isn't normal for anyone. They're also caused by psychiatric issues at times."
I growled, "God you're my husband. I imprinted on you. You're perfect for me, but here you are not believing me." I walked over to Carlisle picking Sebastian up.
"Baby I believe you saw him, but look what Kimi did to you. Nobody else saw him." He tried to kiss my forehead.
"I can't believe you." Sebastian started to fuss a little.
I stood there, watching the outbreak of war start again, I watch it unfold, nothing I can do to stop it, I seize the moment to speak, "Hunter, outside please, I will speak with you in a few minutes, Carlisle can I have a few minutes alone with Leah?" Carlisle nods, he carefully takes Sebastian and wanders upstairs, Hunter walks through the kitchen and outside, "okay, time for peace negotiations, Leah sit down with me." I smile, my commanding voice replaced with that of a friend and diplomat.
I look at her, and pinch the bridge of my nose. The headache from hell, and tonight if all nights. I've been a little sad, and missing my life. It's a bit of give, and take.
I wrap an arm around her shoulder, "Try massaging your nose, it may ease the tension a little," sighing, "so start from the top, tell me how you are really feeling."
I lean against her, "I'm a bit angry, and quite hurt at the moment. I'm a little sad. I love Sebastian I just feel a bit off. I've had the headache all day. He's taking about his moms brain tumor, and psychiatric issues. I'm not crazy, nor I dying." I look at her.
"So you feel the pressure building," I can tell, "anger is both good and bad, marriage is a to and frow affair, sometimes neither side see's the other person's objective, are you sure you saw your father?" I kiss her head.
"The pressures in me. To be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, nurse. I'm angry because he doubts me. He's never doubted me before." I nod, and cringe. "Grey hair, roughly shoulder length. Green coat. Boots. Khakis."
"Don't let the pressure win, take one step at a time, Leah you are you, a beautiful soul, a loving mom, a kick ass sister who has a few issues and that's fine because we all carry issues," kissing her knuckle, "Hunter is scared and over protective, all because his mom died of a tumour, it has to be hard on him, though he is jumping to conclusions," damn it, "you must have seen him, because he was wearing a green coat, boots and khakis when I turned round after hearing the windchimes," rubbing my hands, "lets do the MRI scan, put Hunter's mind at ease, I want you both to enjoy Paris."
I sigh, "It's what he wearing the day he died." I blink back tears. "I'm not crazy, just a little sad." I look at her, "Promise to look after them, just in case."
That I didn't know, "Let it out, it is harmful if you keep it in," blowing through my nose, "if you were crazy I would still love you just as you are," tutting, "so long as you do me a favour too." I look her in the eye.
I look at her, "My dad was my age, when his heart issues started." My head is throbbing, and I start to ring my hands. Sebastian is fussy, and I'm not sure what to do. I can hear my dad consoling him.
"That doesn't mean it will have passed to you," I lean my head on her head lightly, "if for any reason I go missing and never return, make sure-" I hear Sebastian and then Carlisle soothing him, "make sure everyone knows I followed my heart, that I love you all so much," sighing, "that no matter where I end up, I will always be with you all, forever."
I nod, and lean over holding my head. Sebastian still needs to be fed. I know the waters boiling for the pasta. I pull on my hair. It's just a swarming buzz.
"You go lay down, Carlisle and I will deal with the pasta and feeding Sebastian." I smile and pat her shoulder.
I went to stand up, and saw the water really boiling, "Oh no." I hurried out to get it. Hunter was sitting outside. I tried to turn it down, some splashing over. "Dammit." I looked around for the pasta. In the process, I knocked over the sauce Hunter had made. Then to my luck, the pasta was next. I was on my knees picking up stuff. Carlisle whispered, "Ara things ok down there?"
I rush into the kitchen after Leah, "Breathe, we can clean it up," looking outside I know I have to talk with Hunter, I appear at the bottom of the stairs, "things will be, bit of chaos but nothing I can't clean up, I'm sending Leah up to rest, so you and Sebastian can come down, it's close to his feeding time," back into the kitchen, "go lay down, I'll clean up, promise not to make a mess." I pout and giggle.
I went to stand up, and had to hold on to the counter. Things started to spin a little. "I need to make dinner, and feed him." Carlisle was in the kitchen, "He's in his swing." I looked out at him. "I never even nursed him." I swallow feeling guilty.
"You are stressing out, you need to lay down, now go, please," looking at Sebastian and Carlisle, then back at Leah, "you can't do everything, we aren't built to do everything."
Carlisle looked at me,"You do need to lay down now. I can stay, and get Sebastian to bed. You need to rest."
I turn, and walk over to Sebastian, "I'm sorry." I kissed him gently, and went upstairs.
Carlisle looked at Ara, and turned the water down, and retrieved new pasta, and put it in to cook. "Did you get much out of her?"
I feel sorry for Leah, but in time things should change, sitting on the counter, "Let me go talk to Hunter first, can't leave him sitting there all day," patting him on the shoulder, "I do believe she saw her father, it was not an illusion." I walk outside.
Carlisle tended to Sebastian, making sure he was fed, changed, burped, and rocked to sleep. I laid down upstairs, after changing out of my scrubs. I pulled on my sweat pants, and a tank top. Hunter was outside still, and I could tell he was upset. I tried so hard to relax, trying to ease this headache.
Finally I arrive outside, I touch Hunter on the shoulder, "Sorry I took so long." I kneel down in front of him.
Hunter looked at her, "My mom started the same way. Saw my dead father, and it progressed from their rapidly."
"I truly am sorry," breathing, "but I know she saw her father, it wasn't an illusion," time to explain, "Leah is still having issues, she is stressed, that could be part of why she is getting headaches, I have told her she has to go for an MRI to put your mind at ease." I hang my head.
Hunter lifted her chin up, "She really saw him?" Hunter smiled.
"Yes, I know that in my heart because when those wind chimes chimed, I turned around and I saw him too,"
"Why is she stressed? I thought she was happy. That's the first time she's become upset since her labor." He looked concerned. "This affects you as well."
Leaning into Hunter's hand, "She doesn't know how she can be a good mom, sister, wife, to be all those things and it hitting you all in one go, is like a hurricane. I can't be a mother, I accepted that centuries ago I'm fine with it," sighing, "how does it affect me, I'm the frozen one, no feelings, remember?"
He shook his head, disagreeing with her remark, "You have feelings, and they matter very much."
Hunter smiled, some relief now knowing I wasn't seeing things. He looked at Ara, "Is she depressed? I need to know to help her."
Ara nodded, "I would guess so. She misses her old self, and yet she is trying to come to terms with her new self, in her new roles." Standing up, I look at him, "When I had to meet Sam, he whispered in my ear - you don't have feelings, they died centuries ago, you have no humanity because it died long ago and he said if he ever got the chance he would," taking in a breath through my teeth, "he would take me down."
Hunter was furious, "He broke Leah. I've been there, putting every piece back together. She's afraid to upset anyone because of him. The one time I was angry with her, I thought she might break." He held Ara's hands. "You're more human, then that brute of a wolf ever will be. Now when you say her old self, is it because of the baby, or because of the one who hurt you both?" Hunter looked into Ara's eyes. He wanted her to know, she was safe with him.
"I know he did, according to him I brought nothing but misery," bending down, "I don't want anyone to know what he said to me, it would only serve as an extra reason for him to take me down or cause more upset," sighing, "before the baby, I'm 95% sure, you have to keep what I said a secret, if it is too much to bare, forget about it, I'll survive," I kiss his cheek, "you're a good person, you lost your temper because you were afraid, I have to go, explain a few things to Carlisle before I head home," walking away, "remember, tell no-one, please." Anger pain and hurt run through my eyes.
He quickly got up, and grabbed Ara, hugging her tightly. "Thank you."
I hug him back, "No need to thank me, I did what I see is best." I kiss him again on the cheek and walk inside, Carlisle is waiting.
"Sebastian's asleep. He drank roughly seven ounces. Hungry little boy." He smiled, then it faded, "She's extremely quiet. I've made them dinner." Carlisle moved carefully over to Ara, and looked at her, "How are you?" He was extremely concerned about his oldest daughter.
It was time to put my mask on, I hug my father, "I'm getting there, feel a little tired but I will make it, I always do," changing subject, "Leah saw her father, just as I did, she's depressed, at a crossroads in her life and she doesn't know which path to take, things have changed rapidly for her and she's scared she will fail." I let go and smile.
Carlisle held Ara arms length. "So we're still scheduling an MRI? As for the depression, I can work on it with Lucas, and Hunter." His golden eyes were warm, "You know, she's like someone else I know. They always have their cape on. Remember superheroes take their capes off sometimes also. You, I have my eye on you. I worry, because you hold a lot in."
Ara spoke softly, "I will schedule an MRI when I go in for my shift in two hours. I'll make sure the time isn't too early or too late," sighing, "superheroes are made up." I beg of him, "Please do not worry about me. Leah needs you, she needs us all, I won't take that away, my feelings are just that, feelings, they will pass like everything else," looking at my watch, "time for me to go, gonna head home, have a shower, spend a little time with Fred and then work, honestly don't waste your energy on me, Leah will need that." I hug him and kiss him on the cheek, I walk out of the house into the night and begin my walk home.
Carlisle sighed, feeling defeated. Hunter came in, and quietly ate his dinner. Carlisle stayed to clean up, and make sure all was quiet until, Hunter decided to turn in for the night.
Carlisle finally arrived at home, shortly before ten o'clock. "There's my handsome husband." Esme smiled, then it soon faded, "What is it?" She was concerned, "Leah's depressed. Not baby blues, but depressed. Ara is upset, and not willing to talk to me." He kissed her gently on the cheek, and went upstairs to their room.
Esme was shocked. She looked around the living room. Each of her children's faces were absolutely astonished. Carlisle rarely looked defeated. Tonight though, it shown brightly. Esme put on her smile, trying to turn the worry off. She quietly made her way upstairs, and entered the bedroom they shared.
"Carlisle, please talk to me." She gently wrapped her arms around his waist.
He leaned down kissing her softly, "Two of the biggest martyrs I know, who strive to keep it together. Now they're both falling apart. These are our girls. If Vladimir hadn't come around, they'd be ok."
Esme spoke softly, "Carlisle Leah had a baby. We both know, that alone changes someone. It changed Bella. Her maternal side shows strongly now. Sue is the doting happy mom, and grandmother. I'm happy when our children are around."
Carlisle spoke, a broken edge to his voice, "Ara said one thing, and it's sticking out in my mind. Nervous breakdown."
Esme pulled back to look at Carlisle.
He nodded, "She snapped tonight. We lost a child, Sebastians age, and his father. The mother survived the accident. I think Leah is feeling guilty about that tonight."
Esme sighed, "That's tragic. It wasn't anyone's fault though. You tried."
Carlisle nodded, "Leah doesn't feel she, or we tried hard enough. It was our last patient of the shift."
Esme sat down on the bed quietly, "So what now?"
Carlisle paced the room quietly, "Ara's scheduling an MRI, before they leave for Paris. Leah saw Harry, and followed him. She's also been suffering from headaches. So just as a precaution, we're making sure nothing else is going on."
Edward sat downstairs, trying to keep clear of Carlisle's mind. Alice curled up, and worked on her sketch pad. Rose, looked at Emmett, and he nodded. The silent conversations, were the loudest ones in the Cullen home.
I'm wandering home and I think, "I wish I could just go away or make my feelings disappear, Sam was right, I don't have feelings or humanity." His words dig deeper into my soul, time I focused on Leah, anything but how I feel.
Renesmee was walking along, when she bumped into Ara. "Auntie." She smiled a little. "You're sad." She touched Ara's face.
"Hey Renesmee," I can't hide it from her, "I can't deal with my feelings, we're supposed to be frozen, as Sam said without humanity and feeling." I smile weakly.
Renesmee growled, "Asshole." She quickly covered her mouth. "We all have feelings."
I chuckle, "It's okay to swear, I do but in a different language," I wink, "sometimes I wish I didn't, hurts too much," sighing, "hey come stay at mine over the weekend while I have Sebastian."
Renesmee grinned, "Oh my god of course."
Ara smiled, "Alright then. Sounds like a plan."
Renesmee was brutally honest, "One who remarks on our feelings, usually doesn't have any of their own. Ignore him. You have feelings, and you should be honest." She squeezed Ara, and accompanied her back to her house.