21. Chapter Twenty One
6pm, Tuesday evening, in less than 12 hours I'm England bound, Carlisle and Esme are talking quietly in the kitchen, I'm in the kitchen also, washing up. I looked at Carlisle, "Don't you dare." He waved the wooden spoon with brownie batter mischievously. "I swear if you do it, I will eat all the brownies and not give you one." He smirked, "Nice threat."
"Oi oi children, play nicely." I smirked before wiping suds on Carlisle's head. I covered my mouth snickering. "Oh come on. Not the hair." He turned arm with the spoon, and looked at Ara. That accent could melt me every time. The front door opened, and a voice walked in. "Hello?" My moms voice, and I looked at Carlisle. "Dinner surprise." He winked at me. Laughing, I open my mouth and point, "Dare you." Oh no, not visitors, I'm not sociable. He shook his head. Carlisle smiled, "Relax. I wanted you to meet Elizabeth. She's amazing."
I stared, "What about what I want?" I snicker. Carlisle grinned, "She had a position open if you want it."
Looking at him, "I already have a job, paramedic remember." Raising my eyebrow, "You haven't set me up have you?" The knot in my stomach tightened. I'm happy with being a paramedic. "It was on being a guest speaker. If you want. About being in the medical field in the army and the technology you've used over seas." He smiled. My mom looked around the house. "Mom don't even try." I called out. George laughed, "She's good."
I shook my head and grinned, "That I can handle, it'll be fun," winking, "do I get to whip people if they're loud mouthed." I was in creases. My mom smiled, "It would be quite a sight.”
Smiling,"Just wondered if it'd be possible, " stepping forward, "hi, I'm Ara." I held out my hand. My mom shook her hand. "My husband George."
Waving, "Pleased to meet you." Harry smiled, "Likewise." My mom spoke, "Leonard bought a ticket."
Looking slightly bemused, "Oh, what to? Anything exciting?" I sighed, "Asshole." I reached in my back pocket and pulled out four badges. I hand one to each person.
I look at the badge, still was a mystery to me but I smiled obligingly. "You're a fan of Bastille. I love Pompeii. So these little things, get you backstage. You can possibly meet some of the artists. You'll also be able to be front row. Depends on where you want to watch." I smiled.
My jaw dropped, "Haven't seen Bastille since Glastonbury, Dan the singer dragged me up on stage," smiling, "I hope you and Carlisle don't mind, yesterday I went and booked, you me and Carlisle into a log cabin about 20 miles North of Vancouver," sighing, "no worries if you guys can't make it." Carlisle grinned, "She's fine. Steve ok'd it. He's afraid she may kill her interns."
Smirking, "We leave on the 26th, ok two log cabins, one for me and one for you guys." Carlisle smiled, "Winter hiking?"
"If you guys fancy it, as for me, I decided to go for dirt bike racing and sledding," sighing, "you guys can just chill, anything you want." "Could we join in on sledding?" He smiled, "Esme wouldn't enjoy snow hiking." He winked.
Smiling, "It's bob sledding and husky sledding, but yeah sure course you can." I looked at Carlisle, "Not me babe. I can maybe do a hill, like a little kid. That's about it." He nodded, "Alright then. Sounds good."
I felt a little guilty, "Esme, is there anything you'd like to do while we're there? Kinda decided on ice hockey too, just for fun." My mom spoke up, "Esme is the cat out of all of us. She'll curl up by a fire, and read." I smiled, "You've made great plans. It's fine."
"Okay how about you and me shopping in Vancouver? Oh reading, to sit by an open fire with a hot chocolate and a book is my idea of an evening of heaven." I wink at Esme. It was true though, loved reading.I nodded, "Ok." Carlisle smiled.
Hugging her, "Don't worry, you do whatever you wanna do, they're not set in stone, well for me they are." I kiss her cheek. "And anyway you can always watch Carlisle and I fall flat on our backsides." I wink. Carlisle nodded, "Try hockey babe?"
Smirking, "I'll stick with the more brutal games, Ice hockey, watched a few games, geez, it's crazy and great anger management." Carlisle nudged me, "Let's all give it a shot. Esme want to use your truck up?" I nodded, "Sounds good."
Clapping my hands together like a demented seal, "Yippeeee." I look round, my cheeks begin to flush red. George smiled, "I like you Ara." Mom smiled, and I quietly started serving dinner.
Still flushing red, "Thank you Sir." Harry grinned, "Relax ok." My mom came over, and started helping me. "So Leonard, and Charles had lunch together." She started tossing the salad. My hands clenched the dishes. "He doesn't get it." I shook my head. "Darling I'm so sorry." My mom looked at me, but I kept my focus on the dishes.
"Sorry George, sometimes I'm still in army mode, I call my commanding officer Sir, but he always says call me Gerry, so I always say what? Gerry can?." I can hear Esme and her mum talking, I have exceptional hearing. I left my mom, placing dishes on the table. My mom quietly followed me. "Dinner." She called out.
I quietly sit down, this feels odd to me, a long time since I've sat to a family dinner, I begin fidgeting under the table. Carlisle smiled, "Ara relax ok. She didn't poison your food, only mine." He winked at me. "I can make something else if you would like."
Oh god now I feel uneasy, "It's not that," smiling, "been a long time since I've sat down to a family dinner, in the army I sit with guys who belch, have food fights, competitions, you name it." Carlisle laughed, "Oh you need to meet alice." "In time I'm sure I will," tucking into dinner, "I hope you all don't mind but I'll be going to bed around 9pm, need to be up by 3am in full parade uniform, skirt included, Fred is picking me up at 4.30am and driving me to Carston airbase, he's the one flying me home on the transporter plane." My mom smiled, "that's fine. Have a safe trip." Harry nodded. "Lovely meeting you." Smiling, "It was lovely to meet you both, in case I don't say it later," I don't have much of an appetite, "Sorry, just don't feel too hungry." I take a sip of juice. Carlisle looked at Ara. "I'll check on you when I'm home."
Shaking my head, "Just nerves but thanks for caring," I remember something, "I'll be back a week Friday, on my way here, I have been given permission to visit Arlington cemetery and I'm spending a night In DC." Carlisle smiled, "Maybe we'll overlap coming back. I have my conference in Boston." I smiled, "that would be great for you two." I smiled, taking a swig from my wine glass. His conference. Must have forgot to mention it.
Standing up, "I have no doubt we'll overlap." feeling my forehead, it's clammy, "If you'll excuse me." I smile and slowly make my way to the foot of the stairs. Carlisle quickly excused himself, and followed after her. "Please, let me get you home safely."
Putting my head in my hands, "Occasionally this happens, been going on since he decided to slice me open, the doctor said it was reaction to stress," taking a deep breath, "if you don't mind, sleep should ease it down." Carlisle nodded rubbing her back, "Alright I will bring you home. I will ring Esme once you're settled."
"Thanks and sorry to be a pain," slowly standing up, "I was never like this when on patrol, it's more the social situations I feel more stressed." I lean my head against him. Carlisle held her carefully, "It's ok. She understands." He helped her in the car.
The knot in my stomach tightened as we sat there. I just kept taking deep breaths hoping that it would go away, "I was doing good but then it hit me, stress crept in." I sigh, one day I will get over it. Carlisle nodded, helping her in. "I'm always here,"
Yawning, "I know but right now I think Esme needs you more, I'm fine with that." I smile. "How will you get home? That's quite a walk." He questioned,
"I can jog, got the keys here in my pocket," smiling, "the run might ease it too and let me sleep easier." Carlisle nodded, kissing her forehead, "alright Hun. Be safe, I love you."
Night time here brought peace, probably had 5 miles to go, I stopped and took a
sip of water, a small shop is still open, wandering in I ask for a pack of cigarettes, they helped with stress. Bidding goodnight to the cashier I walk back out, light a cig up and walk fast.
Another song began, I thought, "What the hell, dance all the way home." With that I dance forward, feeling more and more free, music unleashes me from whatever bugged me. Back inside I poured another glass of wine, and chugged it. "Esme slow down." My mom spoke. I eyed her, "Last time I checked, I was over eighteen. Actually over twenty one. So I will drink how I see fit." With that, I finished off a second glass, and started on the bottle itself. Harry stayed quiet, and my mom sighed, "Please you've been doing so good." I looked at her, and let out a loud guffaw. I finished off the bottle, and my mom wasn't pleased. "Esme you should be careful." She reached for my hand. "When people take advantage of me they use soda, not wine." Harry's jaw dropped. My mom teared up. I cleared the dishes, and put them in the sink. I grabbed another bottle of wine, and started in on it. "George stop her." My mom pleaded. "She's a grown woman Elizabeth." He spoke softly. Carlisle walked in, hearing the conversation. "She alright?" He asked, quietly. George spoke, "She finished off the second bottle of wine we opened. She's starting a third." "It's because I told her about Leonard." My mom felt horrible. George held her hand, "She needed to know." "I forgot to mention my conference. She's angry at me, I'm guessing." He sat down quietly. "Actually it's none of you. Maybe I'm just so tired, it's caught up. It's not always something you've all done. I don't feel like taking about it. Now enough." I swallowed back tears. Carlisle looked at me, "You're upset, and drinking." I snapped, "I'm not a drunk." Carlisle moved towards me, "I'm not saying you are. You're upset, and having wine is great. My concern is, you're suppressing something." I shook my head. My mom moved slowly, in my direction. "I'm asking honestly, have you started your cycle yet?" This was where I died. I was beyond embarrassed. Carlisle held my hand, "I'm a doctor. Please don't be embarrassed. It's an honest question. It could explain some of your feelings.” I shook my head. He nodded placing his hands on my shoulders, "Could be your hormones are starting to get back in sync with your body. So truthfully easy on the alcohol." I acknowledged him, and felt tired. The tears were staring, and he wiped them away with his thumbs. “Easy love.” Carlisle sighed, "I hate to have to leave but," I cut him off, "I will see you in a week." He smiled, and stroked my cheek, and cupped my face. "You're amazing don't forget that." He kissed me, with a deep kiss full of passion, and love. "We'll talk once I arrive." He smiled, and said his good nights to my parents, then left. I sat back, and looked at the window. "Well we should get home. We'll meet up for breakfast Saturday?" George asked. I shrugged, "Maybe." They stood, getting their coats on, and all buttoned up. "Call if you need anything." My mom kissed my cheek. George hugged me, "Be good kiddo." They quietly left. I wandered into the kitchen, and flipped on the iHome. Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile came on. How fitting I thought to myself, as I started to wash the dishes.
8.40pm, I'm in the kitchen making a hot chocolate, as I wander down the hallway I swear I see a shadow cross the front door, "Thank hell I locked it." But I still feel a little unsettled.
I left a note for Carlisle on the coffee table, I didn't feel like sleeping upstairs, my alarm was set, going upstairs I grab my teddy, he's a little worse for wear, my dad bought him me when I was six, since then he has never left my side, laying down on the big sofa, I cuddle up to my teddy and close my eyes. Carlisle arrived home, and walked inside. He sighed hanging up his coat. Morning would come early. He'd packed last night for the conference. He'd be picked up at 6:30am, and dropped off for his 10:00 am flight.
I was happily dozing, feeling so comfy on the sofa, I felt as if I was back at home, with my mum and dad, I felt safe. Carlisle quietly crept upstairs to his room, and laid down without changing. He was exhausted. Sleep came so easily, and peacefully, until several hours later.
My alarm dragged me from my sleep, quickly I shut it off and put a light on, "Will take me a bit to wake up, coffee it is." Sleepily I wander into the kitchen as quietly as possible. Carlisle was sitting in the dark kitchen. He ran his finger around the rim of his mug. Sleep wasn't happening, so he'd catch a few on the plane. It was that simple. I fell asleep at the kitchen table. I was drinking a cup of coffee, as my eyes fell shut. I'd forgotten to lock up after everyone had left.
Putting the light on I jump out of my skin, "Geez," I put my hand to my racing heart, "heart attack, fight or flight mode." Carlisle smiled faintly, "Thought you were upstairs. Sorry. I couldn't sleep." His blonde hair was ruffled, but looked great.
I shook my head, "No, felt uneasy around 9pm, so felt safer down here," I put the kettle on, "looks like you had a rough night." I sit down opposite him. Carlisle sighed, "Call me next time."
"It wasn't a major threat, just saw someone cross the path of the door." I stand up and begin making a coffee. "Still in comfortable though. As long as you're safe." He smiled faintly.
Wrapping my arms around his shoulders I whisper, "You're troubled, please let me in, tell me what's wrong." He spoke softly, "She drank about two bottles of wine, maybe more once we all left.” His head rested against his steepled fingers.
Kissing the top of his head, "She's maybe dealing with stress, or its a cry for help." Carlisle nodded, "I'm not sure which one." He hugged Ara, sighing softly.
Sighing, "I'd say a bit of both," hugging him back, "we each deal with stress differently," my stomach feels like butterflies, "just nipping outside for a few minutes, when you ring her, ask if she'd like to join you in Boston for a couple of days." With that I grab my coat, unlock the door, step out and light a cigarette, this was my way to deal with stress. He quietly sent me a text, "Hi beautiful. Would you like to fly accompany me to Boston? I will take carve of everything if you'd like to come. Love you beautiful."
The same shape of the shadow I saw earlier lurks about 150 yards away, despite being in Pjs I decide to go see what the hell is going on, walking and looking at my watch, the time is 3.15am. Carlisle waited quietly, looking over the details of the conference
"Bloody hell it's freezing," I wrap my coat around me tight, the burly figure turns, at first I don't realize who it is, he stops and turns under a streetlight, my finger shakes and points, "you." I spit between gritted teeth. Carlisle looked up hearing Ara outside, and quickly went to se what was going on.
The burly figure sneered, "Still alive are we?"
My heart thunders out of my chest, I swallow hard, without thinking I swing my left arm as hard as possible balling up my fist, it makes contact with his jawbone, "Stay the hell away from me," I yell, "Cracknell, I am warning you, keep away." Carlisle ran like hell, "Ara!" He knew the voice. Son of bitch was at his house. He must have been following Ara.
Somehow he had managed to grab both my arms and hoist them up my back, so far, they weren't far from breaking, Cracknell whispers in my ear, "Tell him your fine or I'll have him strung up by his neck."
There were tears ready to fall, "No," I half whimper before shouting out, "Don't come any closer Carlisle," I beg, "please." He stopped dead in his tracks, and quietly reached in his pocket dialing 911, and left the line open for them to listen.
My arms felt numb and yet I could still feel the pain.
"Wait until you hear what delights I have in store for her Carlisle."
He remembered his name, I feel him press his groin against me, I felt like throwing up, he'd managed to now cable tie my hands tight together, he spins me round so I have to face him, he begins lifting my PJ top up. He prayed the police were coming. He couldn't protect the girls he cared about from these sick people.
I feel used, dirty and ashamed but that didn't stop the idea pop into my head. By now his hands were all over me, I wanted to be sick I let it wash over me for a moment. Jonathan Cracknell's lips pressed hard and angrily against mine, just after he he backed up I threw all my weight behind and head butted him, I heard his nose crack at that point my knees buckle, relief spreads through me. Carlisle ran over to Ara, and heard sirens coming. "Come here love."
I leaned into him taking deep breaths, "That felt good. Carlisle moved quickly, removing the ties that restricted her movement. "He's unconscious. The police are coming."
"Interrogation training paid off," I smile faintly, "I need to be gone soon, I can't not show up." I look at him. He nodded, "A few questions, then he'll be in jail." Sure enough police showed up, and quickly apprehended him. He started coming around. "Few questions please ma'am"
I nod and slowly get to my feet, "I hope this won't take long? I'm on a transporter plane back to Brize Norton at 6am." I felt like hell. "No ma'am. Charges? Pressing any? We'll be pressing our own. There's also a warrant for his arrest." The officer spoke.
"Could I speak with my brother alone for a moment please? Also that lump of lard was my step father," I turn to face Carlisle, at this moment in time I felt lost, I needed to know which way to turn, I whisper, "What do I do?He placed his hands on her shoulders, "Go finish your mission. I will meet you in Boston. I'm always with you, and a phone call away." He gently kissed her forehead.
Nodding I turn back to the officer, "What charges is he up on?" "Want the list? Dui's, Resisting arrest. Assault. Assault with battery. Sexual Assault." Carlisle held Ara's hand quietly listening.
Smiling I know what decision I'm going for, "I'm pressing charges, it's time he faced the justice he has been evading," holding out my hand, "Captain Ara Storm, army medical officer of the 1st Royal Horse Artillery." The officer nodded, shaking her hand, "Thank you Captain. Dr. Cullen, how are you? This your wife?" Carlisle chuckled, "Mate, sister from back home." He nodded, "Officer Martinez."
I stifle back a giggle, shaking his hand, "Pleasure to meet you Officer Martinez." I'm not that good looking, not at this time of the morning. Carlisle smiled, "Officer Martinez likes one of the nurses in the ER. So he doesn't mind transporting patients to the hospital.: Officer Martinez smirked, "The feeling is mutual."
"I'm happy being single and carefree," sighing, "but good luck, ya never know she might give you a chance," looking at my watch, "shit, gotta go change and get my things together, the bone shaker is due out of Carston airbase at 6am, pleasure meeting you." With that I jog back into the house and race upstairs. Carlisle laughed talking, "She has no idea." Martinez laughed, "I think John is amazing. We actually have a date coming up soon." Carlisle smiled, "Congrats. Well I will let you get back to work." They wrapped up what they needed to do, and Carlisle walked back inside.
Looking in the full length mirror, I put on my khaki shirt, followed by a knee length khaki skirt, next is my khaki jacket, it has a few medals on and the four stripes I had very much earned. tan tights and flat black shoes were next, "I haven't had a coffee yet." Finally my hat, I felt a little sad knowing this would be the last time I'd be a Captain, I knew moving on to pastures new was the right way to go.
Quickly I take my hat off, brush my hair and tie it in a bun, putting my hat back on I shove everything in the bag and walk out of the bedroom. The time was 4.10am. Carlisle spoke softly, "Ara don't stop if you love it."
Smiling, "Time for new challenges, it's just a step into the unknown," quickly pouring myself a juice drink, "anyway the next rank would see me in an office position, I love being active." Sitting at the table. Carlisle smiled, "Well you could always stay a reserve?"
Sipping my juice, "It wouldn't be good, that part of my life is done, I'd still have to do 13 weeks, I joined in the beginning to get away, now it's time to settle." I smile.He smiled, nodding.
"Definitely having a few beers when I get home," winking, "I arrive in DC Tuesday morning, Arlington is Wednesday, so if you wanna meet up we can? Otherwise I'll see you back here."
“Where should we meet?" He smiled
I tapped my fingers, "Hmmmm, I could meet you in Boston Thursday? At the big train station." I chuckled because I didn't make much sense. Carlisle smiled, "South Station? Sounds good. You could take the train in from DC
Smirking, "Great minds think alike and if I miss the train I can hitchike." I stuck my tongue out. Carlisle shook his head, "Actually I'm excited to see the city. A book I'm reading takes place there."
Raising my eyebrow, "That wouldn't be The City of Lost Souls would it?" Bastille's Bad Blood came on the radio, I gently take Carlisle's hand, "come on, one dance with the old Captain before I go." I pout. "On wattpad? Yeah." He smiled, taking her hand in his, and placing his other hand on her hip, moving with her.
I loved this man, as a brother of course, so many times he's helped me, I can't thank him enough, no amount of thank you's would do, nodding, "Yeah on wattpad, pretty interesting so far." I continue moving with the beat. He nodded, "He apologized. Said real life gets in the way, and his work becomes crazy." He kept moving, smiling holding his best friend.
"He's a lost soul, which is how I once felt, not anymore, your courage and strength has seen me through, I can never thank you enough." I smiled up at him.Carlisle smiled a little, he felt like the lead character though, "Well, I can relate to parts of the story."
I look at him, "Oh, do tell." He shook his head, "I," he sighed shaking his head.
"We told each other long ago, there would never be any secrets, if you're hiding something I'd like to know." I step back.He looked at her, "Ara you were my first love interest. It wasn't there." Sitting down, wow, looking up at him, "Can't have lasted long, anyway we were young and completely stupid back then." Carlisle shrugged, "yeah guess so."
He was trying to shrug something off, I felt uneasy, "Look when I come back, I will find somewhere else to live," there was a knock at the door, I grab my bag, "I will always love you as a brother, always," sighing, "anyway time for me to go." I turn round and head for the door, I open the door, "Hey Fred."
"Hey Ara," looking her up and down, "wowzers, youch, you're looking fine."
I salute, "Thanks." With that I close the door, throw my bag into the back, climb in the front and we are off. Carlisle feeling like that and then just shrugging it off, no that wasn't the real him but.... Carlisle ran out to her, and grabbed her. He spun her around, hold her delicate face in his hands. Looking into her eyes, he pressed his lips against hers. It wasn't there anymore. It was there. At one time, he loved her, more then just a sister. She never seemed interested. He never pushed, because of what happened to her. He pulled back slowly, and looked at her, "You don't have to move out. There's a lot to discuss. Read The City of Lost Souls again. I was Abby, but I knew you weren't ready. I'm ok with that. Please be safe, we'll see each other in Boston."
As his lips pressed against my own my mind went completely blank, then he pulled back, my entire body began to quiver, "Yes I do, it's breaking your heart," tears roll down my cheeks, "I've done it again, broken someone, just as I broke my dad that day," wiping my eyes, "I will meet you at 2pm Boston South station," I cross my heart, "I promise to read it again." Carlisle smiled, "Great kiss, just not with my sister." He winked. "I love you. 2:00pm."
I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "I love you too but I never knew, you always looked at girls and growled." I laughed at that memory. Carlisle shook his head, "Disapproval. They never saw me. Nobody has. I'm a doctor, and they see money. Plus you were hurt back then."
I lean against Fred's car, "I was a car wreck," half smiling, "I always saw you as a brother, if I had known then what I know now." I can't finish my sentence. That's when Carlisle broke the silence. "I'm not a man whore. Regarding the club, I wanted women to be treated properly. They wanted a little fun, playful discipline. I was strict, safe, caring. Never to harm, nor hurt. I watched, to make sure it was safe. I met Alice," he stopped running his face, his hair falling forward. "blood hell I saw you. I gave the girl an orgasm in a bathroom. After that, I felt like shit. You were always on my mind. I worried if you were treated properly."
Stamping my foot, "I didn't mean it like that and you fucking know it," growling and taking a deep breath, "you had issues and had to work them out, I accept that," shit, I always kept one secret from him, "it didn't matter if I was treated like shit or not, I'm sorry i occupied your mind but do you remember the last 6 month deployment I went on?""I never said you thought I was. I'm being honest." He sighed. "Yes I do remember."
Fred interrupted, "Flight's been delayed, in coming storm."
I chuckle, "Thanks, tell you what pick me up at 6am."
He nodded I shook his hand and he left.
Turning back to Carlisle, taking a deep breath, "Remember I didn't speak to you for 16 weeks? Wanna know the reason why?" Carlisle nodded once again.
"Me and four team members were out on night patrol, out near the mountains, gunfire split the air, they shot the four members but left me," my heart starts racing, "the reason I couldn't speak to you for those 16 weeks was because they held me hostage. The MOD kept it quiet, they didn't want the world knowing that the terrorists had a female soldier captive." Carlisle sighed, "I'm sorry."
Shaking my head, "There's no need to be sorry," sitting on the pavement, "going through hell with Jonathan was a doodle in comparison to what they did, why do you think I loved interrogation training so much?"
Silence filled the air, thunder rolled above us, "see, we've ruined it now, both of us are just destructive." "Fucking Christ. Ara one person, one person I've ever been with. She fucking killed herself afterwards." He was dead toned speaking.
I couldn't fight anymore, I was worn out, torn up and burning inside, standing up as the rain pours down, "Goodbye." I walked away as the rain fell down on us both. He quickly caught her arm, "I need to talk, you're the only one I've told."
Looking at him, "I will take it to the grave, now if you don't mind I have to be somewhere." "Ara please. I need you now." His eyes plead, and tears started to run.
Shrugging, "Why would you need me?" I saw the tears streaming down his face, I carefully wipe them away with my thumbs. "Because I have nobody. Ara she killed," he choked on a sob. Carlisle only cried twice in his life. This was making it a third.
I look confused, "Who killed themselves?" "Remember I wrote you about Rebecca?"
I nod, a shiver runs up and down my spine. "She was my first. We thought it was meant to be. Well she told me she was on precautions. I believed her. Well being young, she got pregnant. When I found out, I was elated. Well I proposed, she said yes. Well I tried calling her the next morning. She was 10 weeks along. There was no answer." His voice became soft, "She had hung herself." He pulled out his wallet, and opened it. Out came a piece of paper, a letter. Carlisle, I can't do this. None of this. I wish you the best in life. I'm sorry. Becca He handed the letter to Ara.
I took my hat off to keep the letter from getting wet, my eyes read each word over and over again, this also brought back a memory I had long since forgotten, "I'm so sorry." Again I look up at him as I hand the letter back. He put it away. "It's what scares me when you become quiet, or Esme does. I need you both, so much."
"I don't become quiet because that's what I'm thinking," breathing, "when I go quiet it's because I'm analyzing everything, every little detail, trying to work things out," smiling, "I need you too, despite our bust ups." Carlisle smiled, "Thirteen."
I smirk, "Keeping track are we?" Still I had one more secret, maybe I could take it to my grave? Carlisle sighed a little, "My little one would be thirteen. Well your niece or nephew."
I feel as if I've been hit, my kid would have been 19, my heart races, "Sorry." i whisper. "Never apologize for God creating Angels." He smiled hugging her.
Crying, "He fucked up when he made me." Carlisle shook his head, "Cassiel is the angel who presides over kings deaths. Gabriel? Simon? The list is endless. Life is purpose. No matter what our form."
"Gabriel is the angel of death, Simon is the angel of children," blowing out air, "If only I knew my purpose, it'd help." Trying to smile. Carlisle smiled, "Maybe you're a saint. Nothing is clear at the time. Others though, they can see out good ways."
Huffing, "Yeah, I'm Ara, Saint of hades." I let out a small chuckle. Carlisle smirked, "You're a saint of soldiers."
I'm tired and wet, still I have the energy to wrap an arm around him, "You can tell Lee that, see what he says." I smile. He hugged Ara, "I love you. I've never told anyone."
Nodding I hug him too, "I will take it to my grave, I love you too." "One day maybe I can tell Esme, if we ever make it." He sighed. "Come dry off."
Smiling, "You two will have your ups and downs but you'll make it, both of you." Saluting, "Yes sir." He smiled, "so we ok now?"
"It's been unleashed, I think we're calmer now," shivering, "the next few days will do us good but yes, we're good." I wink. He smiled, and hugged his best friend.
The anger had vanished, we had unleashed pent up frustration, "Come on then, we look a mess." They quietly headed inside.