A couple of weeks passed me by, Jacob and I were on patrol. Jacob kept replaying what he tried to write to write to the leech lover.
I don’t know why you’re making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we’re in second grade - if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the
You made the choice here, okay?
You can’t have it both ways, when
What part of ‘mortal enemies’ is too complicated for you to
Look, I know I’m being a jerk, but theres just no way around
We can’t be friends when you’re spending all your time with a bunch of
It just makes it worse when I think about you you too much, so don’t write anymore
Yeah, I miss you too. A lot
Doesn’t change anything sorry.
My brain ached having heard this at least 100 times now, I’d lost count. “Jacob please stop. I can’t take listening to it again. I don’t understand, why don’t you just answer the damn phone when she calls?”
Jacob kept running, “Sorry Leah. It’s not that easy to just say, “Hey Bells.”
I thought to myself, I would have said, “Hey leech lover.” Jacob growled softly. “Relax Jacob.” The growl disappeared,
“I’m just so confused. I love her so much-” I cut him off,
“But she loves the blood sucker.”
He growled in response to what I said. “She has to realize what a mistake she’s making being with him.” he said.
I kept running, “Jake if it’s what she want’s, you can’t interfere with it.” I could sense the pain he was in.
“She wants to become one of them. If she chose me she wouldn’t have to,” he stopped then it was whispered, “die.” I felt bad for him. Bella was being so selfish. She didn’t realize how much she was hurting Jacob. She didn’t have to hear his thoughts, but I did. I kept running and we looped back when I heard Sam, “Leah, Jacob your all set to go home. Paul and Embry will take over.”
I didn’t respond,
“Ok Sam thank you.” Jacob thought back.
We walked into the woods and disappeared. We always left a set of clothes to change back into. Jacob phased back and threw on a pair of shorts. I phased back and put on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt and met up with Jacob.
“Hey.” Jacob smiled.
I smiled back a little bit and felt my cheeks flush a little.
“You ok there?” He grinned.
“Yeah I’m fine.” We started walking.
“Thanks for listening to me vent. I really needed that.”
I smiled, “I understand where your coming from Jacob.”
He looked at me.
“What?” I asked.
He shrugged, “Nothing. Just something you said.” Before I knew it we were at my house. “Well, here we are. I need to be getting home. Until tomorrow, sleep well and sweet dreams.” he smiled.
I just zoned out, answering in a far away voice, “Thank you Sam.”
Jacob looked at me, “Uh, you mean Jake right?”
I was so embarrassed, “Jake I’m so sorry. Thanks for walking me home.”
He nodded, “Anytime I just wanted to make sure you go home safely.”
I smiled faintly, “Thank you.” I turned and headed inside.
“Hi sweetie. How did things go?” my mom asked.
“It was quiet. Jacob and I just talked. I will see you later I’m going to bed.” I gave her a hug and went to bed.
I headed into my room and opened my journal I looked at the blank page. I wanted to write but something, but I couldn’t seem to get anything out. Then it just flowed so effortlessly.
Well today was a rather uneventful day like always. I spent the afternoon and evening with Jacob just patrolling. There was this weird feeling that ran through my body when I was with Jacob. I can’t quite place my finger on it. I hate hearing his thoughts. I know the pain he’s going through. Your in love with someone who may love you back, but it’s not the way you want them to. There’s an anger in me towards Bella. She’s crushing him. Sam did the same thing. I know he imprinted It’s just hard seeing Emily and Sam so happy. Where’s my happy life. The world I knew is falling down around me. I”m stuck being some wolf and protecting Charlie’s daughter from a crazed vampire who is on a mission to kill her. It’s not my problem. I don’t care for the Cullen’s. It’s their fault I lost Sam. If they never came back, he wouldn’t have phased and I’d still have him. If I hadn’t phased my dad would be alive. Jacob would have Bella and things would be ok. It angers me that Bella is running around with vampires and putting everyone in danger. She’s so selfish.
The journal was slammed shut and I threw the pen on the desk. I was so angry right now. I changed into some pajama’s and laid on my bed and turned on some music. I cracked the window and let the cool night air take over my room. The next song came on, The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby. I just laid there listening to the music, “All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they belong?” I kept replaying the chorus over and over. My eyes slowly shut and my breathing slowed to a more steady pace and I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning and Seth was sitting at my desk. He was leaning back in the chair with his fingers interlaced.
He was using his hands as a head support, “Finally your awake sleeping beauty. How you feeling?”
I rubbed my eyes sitting up and yawning, “What time is it?”
Seth smiled and handed me a tray that held a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast. “It’s only 10:30am. Mom had to go out for a bit. She was going to meet up with Charlie for lunch. It’s just sibling bonding time.” he grinned.
I looked at him, “That sounds like your up to something. What’s going on?”
Seth laughed, “Nah. I just haven’t spent a lot of time with you since everything happened. I thought maybe we could do something fun.” he smiled.
“Ok you’ve got a deal. I’m your’s all day.” I quickly ate I was starving,
“Ah I see you didn’t taste the poison?” Seth chuckled.
I finished eating and pretended to choke, “Oh no you’ve poisoned me. Why?” We were both laughing. He took the tray with the plate on it.
“You know I made breakfast for you. Mom’s been gone since about 8:00am.”
I was a little shocked, “Seth that was delicious. Thank you.” I got up and grabbed my towels,
“Take your shower, I’ll wash up the dishes and then we’ll go out.”
I smiled and headed for the bathroom. I turned on the water and climbed in. I just let the hot water run over my skin. I felt goosebumps all over my skin. My mind drifted off to the times when Sam and I were together. I remembered the good times we had.
There was a light knock on the door, “You ok in there?”
I shook my head, “Yeah sorry daydreaming.” I finished my shower and shut the water off and dried off. I headed back to my room and shut the door. I quietly got dressed. I brushed my hair and sat down at my desk and opened the journal. I found the page I was so desperate to read. I turned on my cd player and put on Kissing You by Des’ree to read this section.
Well what do I say? I am at a loss for words. Today was AMAZING!!! Sam means the world to me. Well today he and I were together. I just blushed thinking about it. We we're just laying there on his bed and he leaned over and kissed me ever so gently. "Leah I love you." When he said it I think my heart melted. I said, "I love you to Sam." He shook his head. "No, Leah I love you. I want to be with you forever. I want to marry you one day and have children." I just glowed about the idea of us having children. I told him,“I love kids. I want at least 4.”
He smiled and kissed me gently on the forehead. Nobody else was home. He rolled on top of me and leaned down kissing me with such passion. I returned the kiss running my fingers through his hair. He slowly slid his hand down my side to my thigh and gently squeezed it. My heart started to race. He sat up straddling me and took off his t-shirt and there was his perfectly sculpted body. His tan skin so perfect. He had no marks or flaws. He leaned down once more and started to kiss me. He kissed my lips and then slowly along my jaw line until he reached my neck. My breathing stuttered.
He chuckled, "I think you liked that."
I blushed. He kept kissing me while his hand worked its way to the buttons on my shirt. Slowly he unbuttoned every one until my shirt lay open. I carefully slipped my arms out of the sleeves and let it fall onto the floor. I laid there in my bra and jeans with Sam's warm body on top of me.
"Are you ok my love?" He whispered in my ear.
"Mmhm." Was all I could get out. His hands slowly played with the button on my pants. I whispered, "Go ahead." He carefully undid the button on my jeans and slid them off and let them hit the floor. He undid the button on his jeans and slid them off as well. He pulled the blankets over us as he climbed back on top of me. I was laying there in just my panties and bra. Sam was in a pair of boxers. I leaned up and kissed him and this time I kissed along his neck as his hands slowly slipped my bra strap off my shoulder. His hands carefully caressed my chest and I moaned a little in his ear. I heard a low deep chuckles come from him. Then my bra came off and his chest was against mine. His hot breath was on my neck again and my fingers returned to his hair yet again. He slowly pressed his body up against mine and I could feel everything.
"Leah if your uncomfortable at all we can stop." He spoke softly.
I let one of my hands slide his hand down to my thigh and he gently massaged it. Goosebumps arose all over my body. He moaned softly as I took my hand back and ran my fingers gently up and down his back. He slowly kissed down from my neck over my chest down my stomach stopping just above my panties. I smiled and giggled a little.
"Did my Leah just giggle?" he asked smiling and came back up kissing me softly on the lips. He slowly removed his boxers. He was laying there on top of me and it felt great.
"I love you Sam." I said.
"I love you too." he replied. My heart was on over drive. It seemed like it was about to pound out of my chest. Sam carefully slid my panties off and let them fall to the floor.
"You sure?" he asked one more time.
I pulled him down on top of me. I felt everything. He moved slowly making sure not to hurt me. I moaned softly and Sam did also. He looked into my eyes and smiled then leaned down to kiss me. He carefully moved gently holding both of my hands, and lacing his fingers with mine. There was a feeling of electricity between the two of us. The gentle movement continued. Then it happened. I had never felt such a rush in my life and I moaned and, bit down on my lip. I held onto him so tightly. Sam smiled and continued. He then leaned back still moving and then held onto my hips tightly.
His head rolled back and he moaned, “Oh Leah.”
Afterwards he leaned down and kissed me then laid down beside me. We laid there for sometime afterwards. We held each other. It was euphoric. I had been with the one I was going to marry. I got dressed and so did Sam and he walked me home.
He kissed me passionately. "Leah I love you and I can't wait until were together forever." He smiled.
I kissed him back. "Me too baby." I headed inside and he went home.
I sat there for a few moments lost in remembering the good times we had. The song had ended and I felt like I was back at that time again. I shut off the cd. I turned on the radio to kill the silence in my room. No Sound But The Wind by The Editors came on. I flipped to the next journal entry and it had been several weeks since I had wrote anything. I started to read,
I don’t know what to do. I’m so afraid to tell Sam. What if? I can’t tell my parents. Oh god my hands are shaking and I’m crying. What if I am. We’re not even married yet. Hold on I need to call him and tell him.
I picked up the phone and called Sam.
“Hello.” his warm soft voice answered.
“H...h...hi.” I was stuttering.
“Leah, what’s wrong?”
I was terrified. “I...I...need to talk to you.”
He listened, “Ok go ahead. What’s wrong baby?” The word struck a cord with me.
“Sam, I’m late. I’m really scared.”
He inhaled, “How late are we talking?”
My lip quivered, “Going on three weeks.”
He let out a long sigh, “Well we need to tell your mom at least. She’s a nurse.”
I quickly replied, “No we can’t, and I can’t go to town and buy a test everyone know’s my family.”
He sat quietly thinking, “We can go to Port Angeles and maybe go to a clinic there.”
I thought about it for the moment. “Ok sounds like a plan.” I hung up the phone. I went back to writing.
Well I talked to Sam and told him. We’re going to go up to Port Angeles and go to a clinic. I’m so scared. What will my family say. I think I’m going to bed now. Goodnight.
I stared at the page for a few moments remembering the fear that ran so rapid through my body. I continued onto the next journal entry.
Well we went to Port Angeles and they did a pregnancy test. I will call back in the morning for the results. Sam was really quiet on the whole ride. I asked him if he was ok and he just nodded and smiled. I don’t really have much else to say. Bye.
Then a small entry was below. I read quietly letting my fingers touch the words.
Well I called and I’m not pregnant. I’m relieved but a little sad. I called Sam and told him and he seemed a little relieved like me but, I could tell he was crushed. I sat there for a while after the phone call and looked out my bedroom window. I’ve passed on meals the past couple of days. I’m not hungry. My parents are a little concerned. I told them it was nothing. I don’t want to write anymore.
The entries were quick. There was so much going on in my head. I couldn’t bear my soul to these blanks pages. Someone may read what’s really going on. I couldn’t risk my parents finding out everything.
A couple of weeks have passed again. Sam and I have been spending a lot of time together. He seems a little different. I will write more later when I come home. Ciao. I’m home. What a horrible afternoon. I went down to the beach to meet up with Sam. I wrapped my arms around his neck to give him a kiss. I only asked if he was feeling ok because he felt warmer than normal. He snapped at me,
“I’M FINE LEAH! DON’T TOUCH ME!”
I just sat down in the sand and he joined me. I put my hand out for his. He carefully took mine. He did apologize for snapping at me. I made the mistake and asked him once more if he was feeling ok. He let go of my hand and stood up. I quickly followed and stood up wrapping my arms around his neck again trying to give him a kiss. He pulled my arms from around his neck and walked off. He just left me on the beach. What did I do wrong. Was he that angry at me because I wasn’t pregnant.
The journal entry just ended abruptly. I didn’t write for several days.
Sam has disappeared. Nobody has seen him. He hasn’t called me, or even wrote. I’m left here wondering what is it that I’ve done so wrong. Goodnight.
There was a knock on my doorframe. I looked up.
“Hey you ready to go?” Seth standing there.
I quickly shut the journal and opened a drawer in my desk and threw it in. I looked at it once more and shut the drawer.
“Let’s go.” I shut off the radio and I smiled at Seth.
“What was that you were reading? You were pretty lost in it.” Seth headed down the hallway and I followed.
“It’s nothing. Just a book I read sometimes.”
Seth looked at me, “Your a bad liar but whatever. So where should we go today?”
I smiled grabbing the keys for my dad’s trucks. “Well we could go to town or head to Port Angeles and catch a movie maybe.” Seth shrugged,
“Let’s go to Port Angeles and we’ll see what happens.” I left a note for my mom.
Seth and I are going to Port Angeles. Don’t worry. Be back later. Love you.
We got in the truck and I backed out of the driveway and we were on our way.
“I left a note for mom so she won’t worry. Plus there isn’t much to do in La Push or Forks on a Friday.” I told Seth as we drove down the highway. As I drove it all replayed. The radio was softly playing, My Immortal by Evanescence. I remembered when Sam and I drove up here to the clinic.
I shook my head. “What?”
Seth looked at me, “Our exit is coming up.”
I looked the sign read, “Exit 104 - 3 Miles.” I moved over to the next lane.
“What’s going on with you. Your in la la land. You weren’t like this when I brought you breakfast. This only happened after you read that “book”. So do you care to tell me why there’s a fog surrounding your head.”
My grip tightened on the steering wheel. “It’s nothing Seth. I just haven’t been here in a while, ok.” The tears started to slide down my cheeks.
“Leah your crying. Please talk to me.” he turned to look at me.
“The last time I came up to Port Angeles was with Sam.” I took a deep breath and Seth waited. “Last night when Jacob dropped me off after our patrol, he said something similar to what Sam used to say. I accidentally said thank you Sam.”
Seth replied, “Ok so you goofed up doesn’t explain the fog.”
I sighed, “Ok just between us. It was my journal I was reading. Before Sam phased we,” I cringed but said it. “Sam and I were together. He was the one I lost it to.”
Seth turned red, “Wow ok.”
I just nodded a little, “Well I had a pregnancy scare and we came up here to a clinic. I wasn’t pregnant. But then a few weeks later is when Sam disappeared because he phased.”
Seth looked at me. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. Does mom know?”
I shook my head, “No I never told them.” The sign was there, “Exit 104.” I put on my directional and pulled off the highway.
I pulled into downtown area and found a space and parked. I killed the engine and yanked the keys out of the ignition and hopped out. Seth was out of the truck and ready to go.
We crossed the street and walked along looking at the shops. There on a newspaper stand the the print was so large. DEATH TOLL INCREASES. 3 MORE FOUND DEAD IN SEATTLE. I stopped an kept re-reading it.
“Glad we aren’t that close to Seattle.” Seth remarked and we started walking again. “So is patrolling fun? Because I’m so bored studying and being left out of everything. Sam treat’s me like I’m a baby. Leah I’m 15.”
I felt bad, “I know Seth. It’s not fair on you. I think your old enough to patrol. Geez you phased didn’t you. Sam’s an ass. Ever since he became the, all high mighty alpha.” I closed my eyes taking a deep breath.
“It’s ok Leah. He’s alpha. Whatever he says goes. I understand.”
I snapped at Seth, “No it’s not ok. I’m tired of Sam. He’s so full of himself. I don’t want to be protect Bella. She’s not my friend nor do I care about her or those filthy blood suckers.”
Seth raised an eyebrow, “Relax. Your so tense. I know you hate Sam.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “We’ll stick together. Don’t worry.” he smiled.
We finished up shopping and headed back to the truck and headed home. The ride was quiet. I pulled into the driveway and saw Charlie’s truck along with my mom’s car in the driveway and the lights were on. The display on the radio read 8:13pm. I turned off the headlights and killed the engine and pulled the keys out of the ignition. I grabbed my bag off the seat and headed inside and Seth followed behind.
“Where have you been?” my mom was sitting on the couch with Charlie.
I looked at her, “I left you a note saying we were going to Port Angeles.”
Billy wheeled himself out of the kitchen and was back in the living room.
“You never asked. I just came home to find a note. You both were gone all day. Do you know how worried I was?” my mom was upset.
“Mom we were fine. Nothing happened.”
She stood up, “Leah there is some crazed person killing people in Seattle. I don’t feel comfortable with my young daughter and son out late.”
I started to get angry, “It’s 8:15pm. It’s not midnight. I left a damn note and we got home safe. Get off my case.” I saw my mom get angry,
“LEAH SKY CLEARWATER. You will not speak to me like that. I’m your mother.”
I snapped back, “What’s your point?” I glared at her and was inches from her face.
“Leah calm down.” Seth pulled me back.
“Leah stop this please.” Billy spoke up.
I looked at him. “Sorry Billy but this doesn’t involve you or him.” I looked at Charlie. I tossed the keys on the coffee table. “Here ground me.” I walked out the front door slamming it hard.
“Seth.” my mom looked at him.
“Yeah.” he timidly answered.
“What happened while you were out with Leah?” she asked.
“Nothing. She was reading something before we left and seemed a little off. We talked but I promised not to say anything.”
Billy and Charlie looked at my mom and Seth.
“Is she in trouble?” Charlie asked.
“No, not now. Something happened before. I’m not saying anything else. I promised her.” Seth spoke.
Charlie, Billy and my mom’s eyes went wide, “What do you mean, “Not now”?” They asked together.
“It’s nothing. If Leah wants you to know she’d tell you. I’m going to my room.”
Seth walked off heading towards the bedrooms. He stopped quickly in my room and grabbed my journal and tucked it under his arm. He walked in his room and shut the door, shoving my journal under his mattress.
“Sue are you ok?” Charlie asked concerned.
“Yeah. Leah doesn’t talk about what’s bothering her. I don’t understand what kind of trouble she could have been in.” my mom spoke calmly sitting back down on the couch.
Charlie put an arm around her. “Well you can ask her when she comes home.” My mom just nodded.
I walked along the road quietly and it started to rain lightly.
“Hey. Why are you out here alone?” Jacob was beside me.
I tried to smile, “I just yelled at my mom and got in her face in-front of Charlie and your dad.”
Jacob came up with, “Oh.”
I nodded, “She just got under my skin and I lost my temper. I went out with Seth for the day to Port Angeles. Well she was all upset. The last thing I needed was her giving me a hard time. I told Seth something really personal.” I looked down at the ground walking and, I muttered to myself, “Shouldn’t have read it.”
Jacob looked me, “Shouldn’t have read what?”
I looked at Jacob, “My journal from when Sam and I were going out.”
Jacob nodded. “So I talked to Sam and we’re all going to patrol tomorrow. It will be Paul, Embry, Sam, Jared, you and I.”
I looked at Jacob, “Oh what a fun filled Saturday night. I couldn’t think of anything more exciting.” I said sarcastically.
He laughed, “It won’t be that bad. I will be there.” he smiled at me and I smiled back and looked down blushing a little. “Is Leah smiling? Oh my god it’s a miracle. The girl smiles.” he laughed and lightly nudged my shoulder.
“Oh hush Jacob Black.” I smiled and returned the nudge gently.
He put his arm around my shoulder, “Don’t worry. I will keep you laughing.” he chuckled.
“Ok.” I smiled.
We walked back to the house and headed inside. They were all still sitting in the living room,
“Hello Jacob. What a nice surprise.” my mom smiled. “Have you cooled off?” my mom asked.
“I talked to her. She’s ok.” Jacob smiled.
“So is there something going on?” Charlie asked.
I looked at him, “No, should there be officer?”
He shook his head, “Leah I’m asking because you have us concerned.” I crossed my arms. “Seth mentioned you guys talked.” I clenched my fists and Jacob placed a hand on my shoulder,
“Don’t do it.” he whispered.
“What I told Seth is between him and I. If it concerned any of you I would tell you.” I spoke with a snarl. I turned and went into my room and Jacob followed shutting the door behind him. I sat down on my bed leaning against the wall and Jake sat beside me.
“So let me guess, Sam or something about Sam got you upset.” Jacob smiled softly at me.
“Yeah it just aggravates me the way he acts. I don’t care if he’s alpha. He’s not a superior being.” Jacob nodded listening. “I understand.” we talked softly for a little longer. There was a light knock on my door and then it opened.
Seth slid inside the room. “Here you go.” he handed me my journal. “I didn’t read it. I was worried they might look for it.” he smiled. “I didn’t tell them anything that you told me. I just mentioned you read something. It was tough, two tribal leaders and the chief of police. Your secret is safe with me.”
I stood up and hugged Seth, “Thank you. Just if you ever phase don’t think about it, ok?”
He nodded. “Jake I’ll see you later. Night sis.”
Jacob looked at me, “So that little book is the culprit, huh.” he chuckled.
“Yeah. It holds secrets that nobody knows. Well now Seth does.” I shoved the journal under my pillow.
“Well it’s getting late. I will see you tomorrow Leah.” Jacob smiled and I smiled back.
“See you later Jake.” I smiled. He slid off the bed and left my room shutting the door.
“We’ll be here around 1:00pm tomorrow.” Billy told my mom.
“Ok sounds like a plan.” my mom said. Charlie, Billy and Jacob left. I walked out into the living room. My mom turned and walked over to me. I stood there and just wrapped my arms around her. “I’m sorry about being so rude earlier. I had a lot going on in my head.”
She just nodded, “I knew something was bothering you. I know Sam is having the whole pack do a patrol tomorrow night. You don’t have to worry about tomorrow. Bella went to visit her mom in Jacksonville for the weekend. It will be just Charlie and the others coming over.”
I smiled a little, “Ok. I’m going to go lay down.”
She kissed my forehead, “Listen I’m always here to talk when your ready.”
I smiled and went to my room. I changed into my pajama’s and went to sleep.
The opening part is from Stephanie Meyer's Eclipse Chapter 1