The nights seem longer now. I want to sleep but I can’t – no matter how hard I try I’m just confronted by the bad dreams all over again.
I feel broken inside. As if something has literally been damaged and can’t be repaired.
I turn my head, and look at Nat lying beside me. I have her face memorised like a secret code. The freckles dashed across her skin like pepper. Her beautiful wood-brown eyes that look deep into the heart of who I really am. Her smile that’s the most comforting thing in the world, especially when she’s directing it only at me. She is dizzyingly, head-spinningly, ridiculously beautiful, in every possible sense of the word, and I love her more than mere words can do justice to.
If I could be anywhere, and stay there for all time, I’d be lying in this room with her, in the darkest hour of the night. She would be warm, and sweet, and kind, and we would whisper into the blackness about how much we loved one another. It would be us against the world, with no school, work, or vengeful ex-girlfriends to ruin it. The world has never been a colder, more frightening, lonelier place - but as long as she's in it, there is at least something to keep me going.
Is she my own creation, existing entirely in my own mind? Is this heaven? Or did I legitimately travel back in time? As ridiculously unlikely as it seems, I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. But whatever it is, I can make it work as long as I’m with her.
Natalie… I love you. You are the one who keeps the night beautiful, and fills my slowly-fading heart with hope.