I collapse onto my bed feeling mentally and emotonally drained, it doesn't feel too good.
My mind keeps thinking back to the argument I had with Calum a few days ago, things haven't been great, I haven't seen Calum, the guys or Maya, they have all tried calling and making her way over but I made sure no one came to see me.
Maybe if I just call Maya and ask for her help things may be better, she's smart she'll know what to do.
I reach over to the small table next to my bed grabbing my phone and sending a quick message to Maya,
'Come over please, now.'
Hitting send and a knock at the door immediatly, I make my way downstairs and open the front door, being greeted with a rather frustrated and annoyed Maya.
"Do you know how hard I've been trying to get a hold of you?!" Maya practically shouts, walking right in,
"Hello Maya, come in why don't you," I say sarcasticaly, as she rolls her eyes.
"What the hell happened that you couldn't see your best friend for three whole fucking days for?" she sighs, sitting herself on the couch,
"Well, me and Calum got into a kinda fight and I said a few things that I completely regret, and I don't think are true," I admit to Maya, and mostly to myself.
I never stopped thinking about Calum and I's kiss, it felt different, different to mine and Ashton's. I know I like Ashton, I know I do, but it can't compete to how I feel about Calum.
Maya motions to tell me to go on, "Well, I kinda told him I regretted the kiss, and that it didn't mean anything to me." I admit, I start to tear up slightly, why does my life have to be so complicated.
"Melissa, what the hell?" Maya says, sounding quite annoyed, "Ashton kissed me in front of him, thats how this whole thing started, he couldn't accept me and Ashton." I explain,
"You and Ashton?" she asks confused,
"Well, I don't know what we are, but we've kissed. A few times." I answer, the thought of Ashton doesn't feel the same as how I feel with Calum, Ashton feels more like a brother, weirdly.
"Mel, you've got yourself into this, you need to get yourself out of it." Maya sighs,
"I need to get out," I say, quite suddenly as I grab my keys and run out the door.
After a few hours of walking around and clearing my head, I decide to make my way to Ashton's house, I make my way up the stairs and knock on the door a few times, until a tall figure answers.
"Melissa, whats wrong?" he asks, before pulling me into a hug, I don't feel any rush of butterflies like I do when I hug Calum and get the sweet and strong scent of hs aftershave, I mentally groan in frustration that I can't feel these things for Ashton.
"Nothing, I guess I just wanted to come see you," I answer, as there is an awkward silence and Ashton gestures to let me in, I don't feel right, I feel awkward and I don't know how to act.
"Calum?" I hear a voice call from downstairs, I feel my pulse quicken. Maybe it's Melissa.
I rush downstairs to see a annoyed looking Maya, great.
"If you're here to speak to Melissa, she still hasn't came out of her room." I sigh, all week I've been avoiding her, it's not been that hard, she's kept herself locked up in her room,
"She's out, it's you I want to speak to." Maya sighs,
"What do you mean she's out, is she okay?, where did she go?" I start to panic, but Maya grabs me and tells me to calm down, "Hey, calm down, she needed some air, now what are you going to do to get her back?" Maya asks, as she looks me in the eye, she frightens me. alot.
"I think she made it pretty clear to me that she doesn't like me and never will," I groan, throwing my head back,
"Well, she may or may not have told me, she said things that weren't true," Maya says, smiling slightly, I feel my heart quicken, "Are you being serious?" I ask, desperately hoping for a yes,
"Well, if you don't try to talk to her you'll never know," Maya smiles again, walking out the door and letting Luke and Michael make their way in, with a few bottles of beer,
"We thought you could use with a little cheering up," Luke laughs, throwing me a beer.
Things have just gotten more awkward since I've got here and it's creeping me the fuck out,
"Look, Ashton." I sigh, as his eyes lock to mine immediatly, "I think it's better if were just friends, you know?" I give him a small smile, looking for any signs of emotions on his face, but all he does is sigh,
"Look Ashton, I love you, I really do, but I just don't know," I groan, making my way over to Ashton as he pulls me into a hug immediatly,
"I love you too Mel, don't worry about it," he smiles, but I don't quite believe it, but it will do for now, "Im sorry, Ashton I just-" I start, but I'm interrupted,
"Melissa, don't be. You love Calum, it's obvious," my heart speeds up at the words Ashton spoke, Love?, I know what I feel for him is strong, but is it that strong?
"How do you know?" I ask, playing with the tie of my jumper, biting it, like I always do when I'm nervous,
"Whenever you're with him, you just light up, you can tell you love him more than you do yourself." Ashton smiles, as tears brim my eyes, I don't want to love Calum, he's my best friend.
"Ashton, I'm so sorry," I cry into his shoulder, as thoughts rush through my mind, and Ashton looks at me confused,
"What could you possibly be sorry for?" Ashton laughs,
"For loving Calum" I wail into his shoulder.
I stay there for what seems like forever until I finally have the courage to remove my head and take a look at Ashton, his eyes were a bit red and swollen, not as bad as mine probably were, but he was still crying.
"Why don't I take you home and you can go to bed," Ashton asks, as I nod.
I take his hand and we walk back to my house in silence, it was nice.
The moon was out and it was a clear sky, with a perfect view to the stars.
Before we knew it we had reached Calum's house as Ashton squeezed my hand and pulled me into a hug,
"I hope he doesn't break your heart." he whispers, before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking back the way we had just came.
I let out a sigh as I walk up the pathway to the house, I could hear loud music and voices inside, great.
I open the door quietly and try to make my way inside without being noticed, but of course nothing goes to plan.
"Mel, how great to see you" Michael slurs, putting his arms around me, I could smell the alcohol from his breath,
"Have you been drinking?" I ask the obvious question, "What's going on here?" I ask again, Michael let's himself go from me as he stands infront of me, having trouble keeping himself up.
"Little Cal Pal is feeling a little heartbroken and Luke has got himself a new girl, so Lukey and I decided to have a little lads night, but you can't tell Melissa," Michael laughs, putting his finger over his lip, how drunk is this guy.
"Why can't we tell Melissa," I laugh, that Michael's already forgot that he's speaking to me,
"Because, Melissa broke Calum's heart." Michael answers, I feel my heart break in two, I broke his heart, he told his friends I broke his heart.
"oh" Is all I could manage to say, before making my way to the kitchen, as tears started to roll down my cheeks.
I stand there for a minute, trying to fix myself back up again, none of the guys can see me like this.
"Hey, oh my god, I'm sorry, I thought Luke would be in here," A girl says from behind me, I turn around confused.
"You must be 'Luke's new girl'" I laugh, at what Michael called her, she seems sweet and just like Luke's type.
"Thats me, well I was looking for Luke to tell him I need to head home, but I can't seem to find him, could you maybe tell him that I had to leave?" she asks, as I nod to tell her yes,
"Thank you so much, Im Krysta by the way, well I'll see you tomorrow, I think I'm coming over for band practise," she laughs, as she waves goodbye walking out the kitchen.
She must think I'm a freak, crying in my own kitchen, I make my way over to the kitchen table as I lay my head down.
I hear footsteps behind me, as I slowly turn around to see Calum's face looking at me in disbelief.
"Melissa," he speaks, he doesn't sound drunk at all.
"I'm going out," I say, I'm not really but I need to get away, but Calum takes a tight hold of my hands and drags me up to his bedroom sitting me on his bed before locking and shutting the door.
"You're not going anywhere until you hear me out," he says sternly, as I try to keep my eyes anywhere but on his,
"Fine" I croak, playing with my fingers, as Calum paces up and down his room.
"Mel, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let that slut kiss me, I'm sorry I got jelous, I'm sorry I made you cry, I'm sorry for making you feel any sort of pain at all, you don't deserve any of it." he cries, sitting down next to me.
I lift my head to see his red puffy eyes, as I raise my hand and place it softly on his cheek, "Don't be, it's my fault." I answer, removing my hand quickly.
"I don't know what it is about you, but you drive me insane, but you're also the reason I want to be here every single day Melissa." Calum croaks, looking me in the eye, becoming incredibly close,
"You are the reason I'm here Calum." I say truthfully, the other night when I arrived back home, I would have wnt back to that place but Calum stopped me, only he can stop me.
"Melissa," Calum asks, as he leans in closely.
"Yes Calum," I ask, gulping, all of a sudden feeling hot,
"I fucking love you Melissa Stokes." he answers, closing the space and locking his lips to mine.
The kiss was rough and passionate and I've been waiting for the day we could do this again.
We seperate from each other, breathless.
I forget everything thats happened, Scotland, Ashton, the argument, and let out those words.
"I love you too Calum Thomas Hood."
Sorry this update was kinda late, writers block has been rough on me lately, I don't feel like I'm writing the best just now but I hope you liked it.
Has everyone listened to Fly away, Jet Black Heart and Money?, they are amazing, other favourites are Safety Pin, Lost in Reality and The Girl Who Cried Wolf, basically all the new 5SOS songs?!?!
I can't wait to hear Sounds Good Feels Good!
I also got tickets to see Sleeping With Sirens and Bring Me The Horizon!!!!!
I feel like such a lucky person right now haha, I hope evryone gets to meet their idols one day, it's the most amazing thing in the world.
Anyway, hope you liked this, thought I'd make it cute.