It’s been exactly 4514 years, 3 months, 24 days and 33 second ago since the Regeneration came. The Regeneration: the system that changed everything; The people, the animals, the plants, our whole planet…. Everything’s different now. Less color, less people, less vegetation, less animals, less sunlight, less humanity, less connections, less life.
Different. Its what you think ‘different’ is.
For me, an average 19 year old boy with an average life as a soldier of the forth range, ‘different’ probably means something entirely different than to you. My ‘different’ is a day where I would wake up in a warm, soft bed with her, lying beside me. Where I would kiss her shoulder and taste her sweet smell while I admire her when she slowly wakes up and starts smilling even before she can open her eyes.
Your ‘different’ depends on your ‘normal’.
For me, an average 19 year old boy with an average life as a soldier of the forth range, ‘normal’ probably means something entirely different than to you. My normal is a day where I would wake up on a damp floor from the cold and look around, searching for that person that’s not lying beside me, that I can’t see or touch. And the only thing that I can see and feel is darkness and emptyness.
And till this day on, I still wake up like this every day. Normal.
They say that in the past, before the times of the Regeneration, humans and animals lived side by side. People thought they were cute and they even wanted to keep them as pets. That is something I can hardly imagine. I think it’s true, thought.
They say that when earth was still young, water fell from the sky. They called it 'rain' in the times when the wether still changed, when everything was dynamic, moving and alive.
They say to, that the people were once free, that not everything has always been like this, that there was a time where men and women could actually interact. Without the risc of falling in love and getting your haert ripped out by a woman to eventually be a danger to the entire world population. Back in the days, when humanity still had a sense of morality.
Right before the system of the Regeneration came, humanity was threatened by humanity itself. Eath was a little bit to small for 26 billion people. The Regeneration then made some sirious changes. Men and women were seperated and from then on lived in seperated bases. The propagation of the human race is being strictly controled and since then the population number lowered to 3 billion people. However, that was more because of all the world wars and civil wars that followed. I'm not quite sure if the world's in war right now. It could be. The Great War started in the year 4303. I just guess it never stopped.
All the farmland, stocks and fabrics were taken, destroyed or rebuild into a military base. Later on, they were divided in small amounts and given to the bases.
My current location is Omega-base. I was send on a quest by the Regeneration to shut down illegal happenings. That's what most fouth-ranged soldiers do. They go. They fight. And most of the time, they die. It sucks because I don't even want to be a soldier. Every man between the age of 19 and 21 is compulsory classified in a rank based on origin in the army. That means, that Alpha-inhabitants (someone born in Alpha-base) get classified in the higher (or realy just safer) ranks. I was born in sigma-base, so yeah. They dumbed me in the fourth rang. Great. And to be honest, I don't even know what we're fighting against anymore. Let alone what we're fighting for.
Anyway, I failed, unfortunately. But what did they expect from a fourth-ranged soldier? The fourths almost never make it back a whole piece after a mission. I’m not an exeption. If i may ever get out of here alive, wich I strongly doubt, I know what I’m going to do. When your dying, you have a lot of time to think about that kind of stuff, you know. Stuff that you would otherwise never think about, because it's taboo and nobody ever mentions it. You don’t think about it because you know it would break you. But at the moment, I’m drowning in a sea of time. So why not spend it reliving my intire life and overthinking the whole freaking system. But at least, I know what I'm going to do in my imaginary, alternative life where I somehow am able to survive and get out of this god damn cave.
I would go looking for her. I’m sure about that. I’ve never been so sure about something in my intire, patheticly short life. I’t like every single, dying cell in my body is screaming that it knows what I should do. I know, and really, I’ve always known.
If you’re, like me, dying, the world seems to slow everything down for you. Like it just trew your last hope trough the window while it’s looking at you, smiling with a complacent grin that you would love to tear apart. But, unfortunately , you’re dying, like me. You can’t protect yourself and have already let go of everything. You know what you should have done and what you shouldn’t have done. What I should have done, is find her. I know, I’ve always known. But what I have to do now, is a whole lot easyer. Nothing. That is exactly what I have to do. Wait. That is exactly what I have to do. And die. That is exactly what I have to do.