a hopeless student

Dyslexia - the word of my illness - the word on my life, and the word on my person. Hopeless cases according to the teachers. Idiot according to students. I was a nobody, I was a zero, I was the one that no one else wanted to be. I was just me!


23. To tell

Dinner! Grandma and the whole Jamie family was invited and we would tell them. I was shaking all over, because I still wasn't ready. I was about to enter the second month of my pregnancy and I realized that this was serious. I managed to make the chicken, which I had previously tried to prepare. Jamie laying out on the table and he was as quiet as I was. I looked at him, he mused on everything and sometimes it was as if he repented. Still, he kissed me, he smiled and he always said he loved me, but would he also love baby?


"So good food you've done!" 
I saw at grandma that she was proud of me. I smiled and I tried to hide that I was still shaking all over. Jamie took my hand under the table, he sat next to me, and I realized he was getting ready to talk. It was as if he wanted to gather force together with me and I become warm all over. We could handle this. 
"We have something we have to tell." he said, and avoided all. He looked down on the glass and I felt his hand shook. 
"Have you set the date?" asked Cath quickly and I noticed that she was somewhat fond of that idea. 
"Yes to get married in church?" 
Jamie smiled a little bit and he looked at her. 
"No, Mom." he whispered. "We have something else to tell you."
All was quiet. The room was totally silent, and it was as if everyone held their breath. Jamie didn't get the words out and he looked anxiously at me. I realized that he didn't dare. Therefore, I stood up and I swallowed. 
"I'm pregnant!" I said fast. "Now you know about it, now we can eat the dessert?" 
Jamie held back my hand and he forced me to sit down again. I saw that everyone was just staring at me and it was like they didn't understand what I had just told them. 
"Are you pregnant?" asked grandma uncertain. "As a pregnant seriously?" 
I nodded. 
"I'm just in the first month or so, in the second month." 
Cath just stared at us. Jon was quiet and Andy grinned a little bit. Okay, this wasn't a good sign. 
"What about school?" asked the grandma worried. I snorted. 
"We solve it by hand." 
Jamie held my hand tightly and I saw that he was looking for Cath's attention. She seemed to collect herself, and she came up with a faint smile.
"Okay, so you are going to keep the baby?"
Jamie nodded quickly.
"We are aware that Sara's young, but she will be nineteen years old when..." he looked at me. "When the time comes."
I smiled at him and he smiled at me. I understood that we shouldn't listen to the others. But we knew what we wanted to do.
"Okay!" continued Cath. "Congratulations, I need to say, but it came as a shock."
Jon agreed.
"You usually get married first and then have children?"
Grandma agreed.
"And get an education first."
Jamie didn't let go of my eyes and he smiled big. 
"But we're not like everyone else." 
Jon agreed. 
"No, we have noticed that you go your own way, but we'll help you." 
Grandma calmed down and she seemed to understand that she couldn't get me to change my mind. 
"Yes, we promise to help you Sara." she said a little more nicely. "But think through this one extra time." 
Jamie kissed me and then he let the lips stay against my ear. 
"We will make this work." he whispered tenderly. "Now I'm sure that this is our life and we decide." 
I agreed. 
"We can always get married before or after?" 
Direct his face lit up. He looked at me and I noticed that his eyes couldn't hide his eagerness. 
"Yes!" he exclaimed, and then he looked at the others. "We can get married at the next weekend or when a priest sets up? We don't need to have a big wedding?" 
I was startled. Well, now it happened again! The fastest way to church? I just stared at him and I had to collect myself. 
"Jamie, isn't it a little..." 
He shook his head. 
"All we need is two rings, a priest and witnesses." he looked at me and his eyes, they were eager. "I'm not hungry for a wedding that will show everyone how lucky we are. Everybody knows that we are happy and I just want on the paper that we're married." 
Cath seemed to be on my side. 
"Jamie, you have to give her a nice wedding. It's that day she will remember throughout her life and you can't just do it quickly." 
I agreed. 
"Can't we talk about it first?" I looked pointedly at him. "Just you and me?" 
He didn't want to meet me half way, but eventually he realized that everyone was against him. 
"Okay then!" he snorted and gave me a quick glance. "But I don't think it have to be something big, or like in the movies."




Two months later, we did it. We found ourselves in a meadow and the sun was shining over our heads. My stomach had begun to show what was inside. I had chosen a simple dress and simple shoes, but I looked like a bride. Jamie had black pants, white shirt, and he was tanned after summer vacation. Andy and his new girlfriend Heidi got to be the witness. Guests stood behind us and the priest in front of us. It was simple, but beautiful. I had no father who could bring me to the altar, but just for tradition's sake, I chose to do so alone with him in my mind.


We had written our own promises to each other. Jamie picked up a piece of paper and he was shaking all over. I saw that he almost began to cry of happiness, but he struggled to not do so. 
"Sara!" he said in a trembling voice. "I promise to be with you and take care of you. I promise to make sure that you are always happy and be there so that you never will be failed. You are my sunshine, my life, my future and I want to be forever with you. I promise to take care of you during the difficult times and I promise to laugh when we laugh. I've said this before to you, but I will say it again. My life began with you. My life will end with you."

I cried, Grandma cried, Cath cried and Jamie was trying not to do so. I took up my note.


"I promise, you Jamie, with all my heart, that never leave you. To never let you down or hurt you on purpose. I will take care of you and cherish our love tenderly. I will be worthy you, because you're worth so much more than just me. I will support you when it's hard and I will rejoice in the best moments that lie ahead. I will wear your ring with pride and I promise to never take it off, ever. I love you. My love, for you, is bigger than life and I will never stop loving you. I promise you my soul as long as I live."







It was a little excessive?



Will be more... :)

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