a hopeless student

Dyslexia - the word of my illness - the word on my life, and the word on my person. Hopeless cases according to the teachers. Idiot according to students. I was a nobody, I was a zero, I was the one that no one else wanted to be. I was just me!


14. My dad

New Year's Eve.


We would go home in two days and I almost wanted to stay in the cottage for ever. It felt magical to just be with Jamie and his family, and with my grandma. Everyone was happy and everyone was talking to everyone. I realized how much I had missed a family, a normal family. 


In that morning I showered and then I took out the dress that my grandma had bought for me. It felt strange to take on such an expensive dress, but I really wanted her to see it on me. Jamie came out. He had fancy pants and a white shirt. He looked at me with satisfaction. 
"You're beautiful." he murmured, and he helped me to pull up the zipper on the dress. I blushed. I had put on make up, I had attracted the hair and I was wearing nice shoes. I was also happy, not as happy as he was with me, but satisfied. I spun around and I looked at him. He took so perfect without the beard. He kissed me tenderly and he smiled big. 
"Are you ready?" 
I nodded, but first I took out the necklace he had given me. He helped me with both the necklace and ear pendants engines. 
"The most beautiful girl in the country." he murmured. I blushed. He kissed me again. "Come, we'll party in the new year."


The family was invited to a big party. There was a hotel nearby and that's where we went. Jamie held my hand the whole time and when we would eat food, he didn't almost dare to drop it. 
"Everyone needs to see that you are mine." he whispered in my ear. I just smiled and I chose not to blush. The food was very tasty and there was a delicious dessert. I drank water, but Jamie chose to have a glass of wine. I noted that there were many girls in his age and they seemed almost like to take over my role as his girlfriend.


When the clock was after seven in the evening, the tables were taken away, and the room became a dance floor instead. A live band stood on stage and played all kinds of music. I felt small when Jamie took my hand and he pulled me onto the dance floor. 
"I can't dance." I hissed. I hated to dance. He just smiled and he took me next to him. A hand around my waist and the other took my hand. 
"Just come along." he whispered hoarsely. I sighed and I took my arm around his shoulder. Slowly, he began to bring me around on the floor and I was surprised that I managed to keep up. I stomped him a few times on the feet, but pretty quickly I learned not to do so.
"I told you that you could do this." he said kindly, and he put his head askew. "You always got it easy to learn new things." 
I smiled a little bit uncertain. 
"It couldn't be done without my teacher, who's perfect?​​" 
He laughed. 
"But the student's only talented if she wants to be?" 
I snorted. 
"But without a teacher, she can't do anything." 
It was as if we had a fight about us. Who was the best? I already had the winner in front of me and in the end I gave up hope. He was thinking that it was me who was the best, but I knew he was wrong.
"It's almost New Year's." I whispered. "Shall we begin the new year with arguing?" 
He laughed and he shook his head. 
"No, I have other plans." he said with amusement. "You have two choices." 
"Let's hear it." I said suspiciously. "But it's not about to shave each other again?" 
He shook his head in amusement. 
"Option one is that we will stay here and do as everyone else." 
I looked around the room. Several girls followed us with their eyes, and I didn't like to they stared at my boyfriend. 
He leaned toward me and he put his lips at my ear. 
"Number two..." he whispered hoarsely. "Go home and celebrate the new year in bed, naked, panting and alone?"
I blushed and I just stared at him. He smiled charmingly at me and I understood that he wanted to go home. 
He thought. 
"Soon?" he whispered. "We take the opportunity when no one notices us." 
I smiled a little bit. 
"Sounds like a good idea." 
He nodded and he kissed me. It was such a kiss that made everyone else realize that he was mine. I was grateful that he kissed me and I noticed that those girls were disappointed.


Grandma sat alone in a corner and I almost felt that she deserved more. I walked over to her and I placed myself beside her. 
"Is it okay with you?" 
She nodded and she smiled at me tired. 
"It has been a wonderful weekend." she whispered warmly. "A lot has happened and I sit and just enjoy the evening." 
I took her hand and I smiled. 
"I know." 
She sighed a little bit, and I noticed that she looked at Jamie. 
"He's perfect for you." she said lightly. "I'm just so worried about your school." 
I swallowed and I chose to turn that off. 
"It's going to be fine." I said, "Cath will talk with management."
She looked at me and she nodded happily. I saw that she had many thoughts in her head. 
"It's too bad your mother didn't take care of you." she said, almost dreamily. "You know that she once was as normal people."
I frowned. 
"Yes, right up until I was born." 
Grandma didn't seem to agree. 
"It never was you who screwed up her life." she whispered kindly. "I don't know if you want to hear the story tonight, but remember that nothing is your fault." 
I was curious. 
She nodded tired. 
"Yes, why she was so... destroyed." 
Jamie showed up and he saw at me that it was something we talked about. He sat down quietly next to me and he took his arm around my waist. I felt he kissed me lightly on the head, but I wanted to hear more. 
"Tell me!"
Grandma looked into my eyes and I saw that she was suffering, just by the memory. 
"Your father." she whispered. "He was the reason." 
I released her hand and quickly I took Jamie's hand instead. It felt more secure. 
"He was a wealthy businessman." she said after thinking well. "The idea was that they would get married, but he..." she looked at me. "He flew to the United States and something happened with the aircraft. Somewhere near land the plane fell down and he died."
I realized I had no idea about this. My mom had sometimes said that he was a wealthy businessman, but not that he was dead. 
"She always lied about him." I said. Grandma nodded and she looked down at her hands. 
"It crushed her. He was her great love and she didn't want to live without him. I forced her to take care of you, but I chose the wrong path for her. I thought she would fight for your sake." She paused, and she looked at me a long time. "I'm sorry I let you down, but I never thought..." 
I felt the tears came. It wasn't my fault that my mom derailed? 
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" 
She hesitated. 
"I didn't know if I would dare. I was afraid you..." she hesitated again. "That you would look up his family and maybe leave me. I was the only one you had and you're the only one I have left." 
I wiped away the tears came. 
"I will never leave you." I whispered, and quickly, I took my arms around her body. I hugged her tightly and we both cried. "I wont leave you grandma."
She seemed to calm down and she seemed relieved. 
"You were loved, but she didn't see what she had." she whispered. "I didn't realize how bad it was.." 
I released her. 
"It's okay." I said, and I made so that the tears stopped coming. "It's just good that I was told I had a father that she loved him."

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