a hopeless student

Dyslexia - the word of my illness - the word on my life, and the word on my person. Hopeless cases according to the teachers. Idiot according to students. I was a nobody, I was a zero, I was the one that no one else wanted to be. I was just me!


25. Miami

In the evening I sat and waited for the phone to call. I felt small and deserted, but I knew he would call. Right as it was, I heard the signal, but was surprised when it was Cath. I took the handset to my ear. 
"Hello?" I got out of me. "We have to talk fast. Jamie will call me and tell that he's at the hotel." 
I heard she was sobbing and I realized that something had happened. 
"You ... you haven't heard?" 
I frowned
"Turn on the TV, channel eight."

Have you ever fallen deeply? So so deep that you don't see the light surrounding you? I fell, I foal deep and I didn't see the ground below me.


"The rescue's still looking for survivors. The aircraft, which would have landed in Miami, crashed for some unexplained reason into the sea off the coast. Still, it's unclear what happened and it's hard to find any bodies."


Jamie? No! 
I sat like a stiff stick. I saw pictures from the sea and I saw debris everywhere. I saw boats and helicopters searched the area. I just felt empty. This can't happen? This does't happen?


I took the handset to my ear. 
"Ehjfadf ..." I didn't utter a word. I felt just so,,, empty. 
"Me and Jon are going to Miami and look. Want to join us?" she cried. "I know you're pregnant, but we need to know."




A large hall filled me dead bodies. I was holding Cath's hand tightly and I didn't let her off. I felt dizzy, I was light-headed and I just wanted to puke. We went from gurney to gurney. There were men, there were women and there were children. All were dead and I almost couldn't look at them. It felt so wrong to see them and I was afraid to see a face that I recognized. 
"We're still looking." said the man who helped us. I didn't care. I just wanted to have back my Jamie, whole, alive, and he belonged with me. 
"Is this all the dead?" asked Cath. "You have no more rooms?" 
He shook his head. 
"But it's missing about twenty people." he said. "We don't give up hope." 
I heard that he was lying. They had already given up hope. It had been almost two days since the accident. Jamie didn't call and I missed his voice.




"Drink some water?" 
I shook my head. Jon stood by the bed and he looked anxious at me. He sat down on the edge, but I didn't care. 
"Cath is in the hospital." 
I didn't care. 
"She calls when she knows more." 
I didn't care. 
"Maybe he's there?" 
I looked coldly at Jon. Let's be honest. Jamie was dead and there was no hope left. I would never get to see him and he would never hug me again. I would never hear his voice and I would never again...............! 
The cell phone rang and he quickly caught it up. 
"Well hello ............................." He was quiet and he listened. He looked serious and he looked like he was about to lose hope. I wondered if Jon would ever give up? Wouldn't he realize that it was all over?




I cried, the pain was total. 
"I've called a anbulans." 
I just wanted to die. I felt my whole body ached and I felt my legs were shaking. I heard that Jon and Cath was there but I couldn't bother. The baby wanted out, too early and I didn't want to give birth, not without Jamie.


I wasn't conscious when the ambulance arrived. There were loud noises, lights, drip, people talked over my body. I realized it was bad, but at the same time I wished I would die. It didn't matter that I had a child, Jamie wasn't there and he would never get to experience what it was like to be a father.






will be more...

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