a hopeless student

Dyslexia - the word of my illness - the word on my life, and the word on my person. Hopeless cases according to the teachers. Idiot according to students. I was a nobody, I was a zero, I was the one that no one else wanted to be. I was just me!


5. hospital

"Where the hell have you been?" 
I felt the panic came. 
"I was with my teacher and studied." 
Mom flew out into the hall and she looked coldly at me. 
"What the hell are you talking about?" she exclaimed cold. "You can't even read?" 
I hesitated and I backed against the closed front door. Damn, she was in that mood, then anything can happen. 
"He reads and I remember." I whispered. She snorted and I saw the anger in her eyes. 
"You're damn fucked him!" she exclaims cold and she smiles at me ironically. "Yes you are fucking fucked him just to get ratings. That's the way it is?" 
I shook my head. 
"No, I...." 
I felt knocked up against my face. A straight right that hit my cheek and I are flying into the wall. 
"Don't lie to me!" she yells cold. "I don't want fucking to have any more illegitimate kids to take care of and you are only one problem." 
I feel the pain, but I show no emotion. 
"Mom, he hasn't touched me."
She didn't listen. She didn't hear what I said. 
"You're a fucking whore, a slut, a bitch." 
The kick is straight into my stomach. I bounces onto the floor.


I don't know how long she was standing over me, hitting me, screaming at me. I know it will go over. She will get tired and she will stop. I close my eyes and I'm struggling. I know she will repent, but for the moment I'm just trying to endure the torments of my body. I swallow and I try to see something else, but all I see is darkness. I feel the pain and I feel dizzy.




"What the hell!" 
I will be disappointed. The makeup and hooded jacket couldn't hide my bruises. Jamie takes his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. I see the panic in his eyes and I see that he doesn't understand. 
I swallow. What should I answer? I dare not to say who. I clenched and I feel pain. If I speak the truth, it will only get worse. She will beat the crap out of me, and chances are that I not survive. 
"It will pass." I whisper quickly. He disagrees. He pulls down the hood and he just staring at my face. I know how I look. I know I look like a punching bag, but in a way it's better than my regular appearance. 
"I don't take this..." he mumbles quickly. He takes my hand and without a word he pulls me through school. I see how the other students just staring at me, okay, the girls staring more at Jamie, but still. I have pain and I had to do everything not to scream in pain. He notices that I resist and he looks at me again. He stops. I hold my arm over my ribs and directly he understands. 
I nod weakly. He doesn't hesitate. He takes hold of my body and quickly he lifts me up in his arms. He goes straight to the principal's office. I hid my face against his neck, and I'm ashamed. Does he have to make such a big deal of this? He's not knocking on the door, he opens it and he just bothers Olga. She sits with the phone in her hand and she just stares at us. 
"Hang up the phone!" he says cold. 
"I'll call you right back." she whispers and then I hear that she puts it on. He sets me down on the floor and turn my face towards her. 
"Is this your school?" he says cold. "She's beaten and goodness knows who has done this."
I look down at the floor. I'm so ashamed. I don't know what to say and I dare not meet their eyes. 
"Who?" question Olga and she quietly approached me. "You must tell me who has beaten you. Is there a student at the school?" 
I shake my head. Jamie's behind me and I feel his hands on my shoulders. I'm stuck. 
"Is it a student at another school?" 
I shake my head. It's as if they slowly understand. She hesitates, and I hear her breathing short and fast. 
I don't respond. I know that Jamie responds when he covers his hands over my shoulders. Olga strum slowly up my jacket and she sees the blood come through my shirt. 
"You need the hospital."




The doctor looks at me and then at Jamie. He stayed and he's ready to defend me. It feels odd that he should have to do it and I want to have the urge to ask him to go to hell. 
"She has broken ribs and she has received blows to the head and almost the entire body."
Jamie takes my hand, even that I lie on the bed with my back to him. 
"How bad is it?" 
The doctor looks at me and then at him. 
"I wont let her go home, and I have contacted the police." 
I fly almost out of bed. 
"No, not the police!" 
Jamie detain me. He takes his arms around my body and he forces me down on the bed again. He sits down on the bed and I can't get loose. I have too much pain to resist. 
"We have to!" he whispers in my ear. "You can't go home again."
I start to cry and I was staring at the doctor. 
"Please, she will kill me if the police become involved." 
He doesn't seem to care and I see that he has already decided. 
"You shouldn't have to defend your mom." says the doctor with a calm voice. "She hurt you and you are lucky to sit here right now." 
I cry uncontrollably and I feel how my body slowly collapses against the bed. I lie down, but Jamie wont drop me. He doesn't want me to have that freedom. 
"We need to x-ray her." the man says instead. "The police also want photos of her body as evidence." 
I don't listen more to what they say. I cry and I press my face against the pillow. If I didn't have my mom, whom would I have then?


I lie perfectly still. I lie alone in the room. It's as if I'm in a nightmare and I just want to come home. Okay my mom doesn't love me, but it's my home and what will happen to her?


A police arrive. He looks at me and he seems unsure if he dares to question anything. 
"My name's Anders Smith!" he said kindly, and he puts himself on a chair. "Would you mind answering a few questions?" 
I look at him, but quickly I decide not to admit anything. I shake my head, and I choose to look at a different part of the room. 
"We have proof." he says kindly. "Your mom's already in custody." 
I startled and I look at him again. He seems to see my reaction and I see his face. 
"She has admitted that it was she who beat you." he says. "Can't you tell me what happened?" 
I hesitate. 
"Did mom recognized?" it didn't sound like her, but on the other hand, she usually didn't end up with the police.
"Yes!" he says, and he smiles a little bit. "She was still under the influence of drugs when we picked her up." 
"Drugs?" I don't understand. "She only drinks alcohol?" 
He quickly shook his head and I realize how little I know about my mother. Maybe it was pulled from the mistakes that she hit me? I had heard that you could go crazy for less. In the end, I realize that the truth must be presented and I told him everything. In the end, the words just flow out of me and he finds out everything that has happened in recent years. All parties that she had, all the times she had hit me and all the times she didn't care if we had food or not.

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