So Long and Goodnight

Supernatural Destiel AU where Castiel isn't an angel anymore and is in love with Dean.
Punk!Cas Nerd!Dean


11. We are the very hurt you sold

Sam stood in front of Cas as he opened the door.

"Ah, hey Sam." He said.

"Hey Castiel."

Cas frowned as he usually called him by the shortened version of his name but dismissed the thought and beckoned Sam in.

"You had something to tell me?" Sam said.

"Uhh... Yeah. Right. I did." He sat down at the table and Sam followed, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"It's," Cas sighed. "It's all of this. And Dean and how I'm feeling."

"What do you mean? What're you feeling?" Sam frowned.

"Well... It's kinda hard to explain. So imagine you're in a big space of water. A lake or pool or something. But something's pulling you under. It's not a person or a thing just everything. No matter how hard you try and break free or swim to the 'surface' you can't. That's what it's like. I feel like this whole thing is pulling me under. And I can't do this. I can't be around people right now."

"I knew something was wrong." Sam sighed, his face softening.

"What do you mean?" He frowned.

"Cas, you haven't called me in two weeks. I haven't seen you."

"What?" Castiel said, he shook his head. "No. That's can't be true. It hasn't been two weeks. I only saw you a couple days ago."

"It's been two weeks. You haveng visiter Dean, you haven't even left the room. You're as thin as a bone- have you even been eating?" He asked, Cas could hear the concern in his voice.

"Uh. I don't know. I don't know what's been happening Sam." He looked down and clenched his hands tightly.

"Sam, I need you to leave. I'm moving to a different place for a while. I'll visit Dean as much as I can but I don't want you worrying about me. Please understand why I'm doing this."

"W-what?" Sam said. "No. You can't leave. I need you Cas. Dean needs you."

Castiel shook his head sadly.

"You don't understand. I have to do this. Please leave." He could feel Sam's disappointed and hurt eyes on him but couldn't bring himself to look at him.

Sam stood up silently and walked towards the door.

"Don't leave me here alone." He whispered, hesitating at the door.

When Castiel didn't respond he left, slamming the door behind him.

Castiel looked up, his eyes thick with tears making his vision blurred.

"You're better off without me." He breathed in reply to Sam even though he knew he couldn't hear him.

He got up and walked into the dingy bathroom, locking the door even though he was alone. He leant against the door and slowly slid down it until he was crouched on the floor. Cas put his head in his hands and let out several deep breaths.

Finally, his legs gave away and he fell in a heap. He couldn't will himself to move so he lay there, sobs wracking his crumpled body.

He was completely alone.

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