So Long and Goodnight

Supernatural Destiel AU where Castiel isn't an angel anymore and is in love with Dean. Punk!Cas Nerd!Dean


5. The lives of everyone you know

Castiel woke up to the feeling of another body next to him in the bed. He rolled over and was startled to see Dean's face inches from his. He was breathing deeply, still asleep.

Cas shifted slightly to look at Dean better. He looked completely normal. Nothing wrong at all.

Had the coma been a dream?

Still staring at Dean's face, the man's emerald eyes snapped open. Except they weren't emerald. They were black.

Pitch black.

"D-dean?" Castiel said quietly, shuffling away from him.

"What's the matter, sweetheart? Something wrong?" Smirked Dean.

Cas stood up and backed away, only stopping after his back hit the wall.

Dean also stood up and walked towards Cas.

Castiel gasped as he noticed Dean's body. It was covered in deep cuts that were oozing dark, sticky blood. The sight made Cas' hands shake violently.

"Oh, these?" Dean said.

"These are from hunts. You know the ones. Where you were too late to come before I got hurt. So many times." He sighed.

"It's your fault, you know. All of this. It's all your fault. This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you."

Castiel couldn't will himself to speak, his throat had gone dry and he couldn't move his mouth to respond.

"You're not Dean." He finally managed to say.

"Oh but I am." The man said, blood now dripping onto the floor.

"No you're not. Not my Dean. My Dean who's caring, sweet, hell he's a geeky son of a bitch but he's my Dean. And you're not." He said, trying to bring confidence in his voice.

"Well people change. And this is goodbye, dear Castiel." He raised his hand, a glistening dagger suddenly appearing in it.

In one sharp motion he swiped his arm down and plunged the dagger into Cas' chest.

Castiel woke up with a jolt. He was sitting bolt upright in the motel bed, drenched with sweat.

It was a dream.

A horrible nightmare. But then it hit him- he was living in a nightmare too. Dean was again in a coma.

He sighed, trying to hold back tears. He couldn't cry again.

Cas thought about everything said in the nightmare. How everything was his fault. He couldn't help but see the truth in that. He didnt get to Dean in time on the hunt, it was his fault.

Only then did he realise he was hyperventilating before calming down and willing himself to move.

Cas stood up and padded into the bathroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror.

His electric blue hair was slicked to his forehead with sweat, his skin looked even paler than usual, his eyes had dark circles around them and noticeable bags from hardly any sleep and his icy blue eyes looked cold and emotionless.

He didn't feel himself. He felt wrong.

Trying to wash away the wrongness, Cas went in the shower and got dressed. But he still felt different.

He decided to call Sam and ask him over. He had something to tell him.

While he waited for Sam to come, Cas sat at the small motel table with a beer in his hand.

He ran a hand roughly through his messy hair which was sticking up in every direction.

He sighed loudly, placing his beer on the table, leaning back and shutting his eyes.

Visions of Dean ran through his head.

"Damn it Cas, why'd you do this?!" Dean shouted, sticking out his bottom lip. Cas remembered this memory well. It was a while ago, before he dyed his hair or had any tattoos.

He had just gotten his first piercing, a small silver lip ring.

He didn't tell Dean he was having it done because he knew he wouldn't like it. Cas had just returned to the dingy motel from the piercing shop and Dean had noticed the addition straight away.

"I don't know, I guess I like it." Cas said sheepishly, not looking Dean in the eye.

"Still. You didn't even ask me!" Dean pouted, crossing his arms.

"I was going to surprise you, baby." Castiel said, walking up behind Dean and wrapping his arms around him.

"Well you know what?" Dean said, his voice dangerously quiet as he flipped their bodies around so his face was only inches away from Castiel's.

"What?" Cas whispered.

"Maybe I like it."

"You don't like piercings, Dean." Cas furrowed his eye brows in confusion.

"True." Dean said thoughtfully. "But then again, I can do this." He said before pressing his lips roughly to Cas'. His teeth tugged gently on the piercing, making Castiel moan quietly.

The scene changed into the setting of a dark beach, the only light source was the shining moon in the centre of the navy sky.

Dean and Castiel lay cuddled together on a picnic blanket, looking up at the stars that shone brightly.

Cas had his arms wrapped around Dean's waist, huddling him into his chest for warmth. Dean's fingers were intwined with Cas' and his eyes were often drooping shut only to snap open.

"See those?" Dean said sleepily.

"Yeah?" Cas asked in confusion.

"You shine brighter than them, my angel." Dean grinned goofily as he shut his eyes before falling asleep and snoring loudly on Cas' chest.

Castiel placed a soft kiss on Dean's forehead, then he lay back too and shut his eyes.

Cas opened his eyes and sighed again. All of the memories he had with Dean were so good. They had only happened a few months ago and now this. This stupid accident.

Castiel felt like he was in a never ending cycle recently. He would never escape nor enter it at a certain point but it would just happen. He'd find himself staring randomly at things and drifting off to no place in particular in his mind.

He would feel as though he was frozen in this nightmare. He would be unable to move, his movements restrictive and his body holding him back.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and stood up, wringing his hands for no particular reason.

Soon there was a loud, quick knock on the door. Cas walked towards it and opened it slowly.

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