I got in my car and took the road. The hotel wasn't that far away from my house so I wasn't that late when I arrived.
I said hi to everyone, trying to hide my exitation.
"Welcome, bienvenue, hola …"
At something like 10:30 am, there wasn't anyone coming anymore. Cool, let's get some rest. If we were in the perfect fiction right now, it would be the moment where the boys would come in the lobby and the pretty bandanna guy would fall into my arms.
But it weren't a fiction. I've waited all the morning but nobody came. I guess they were still here because the bunch of girls from yesturday were still waiting.
"Good morning" said a young women with a very strong french accent, waking me up.
"Bienvenue" did I said smiling.
She looked at me like I was a toilet waiting for her to sit on me (yes, she really looked to me like that).
I hate her. At least she woke me up.
I looked around trying to see the lads arrive but they didn't.
Suddently, I looked at a boy. I lookzd at him because he looked like Gabriel a lot.
I forgot about him.
How the hell did I forgot about him ? I tried so hard during 3 years to forget him and I never did. I never stopped thinking at him during 3 years. Never at a moment, he was out of my mind.
And now, a boy coming from nowhere just came and makes me forget about my Gabe for one whole day ? What ?
I was so surprised of myself. Am I falling in love again ? Certainly not. I don't want to. I can't. I will ruin everything. I always ruin everything.
I know it wasn't my bad but I always felt guilty for what happened to Gabriel.
I didn't protected him enough. What if I held him at my home the day of the accident ? What if I drove him home myself ? What if …
I started crying. I couldn't stop. I feel so bad. The love of my life went away and I already want to go with someone else. No.
I don't want this bandana kid. He doesn't want me either. How could I have thougt even one little second this famous guy would go out with a random girl working at an hotel in summer to pay her college. Never.
Even if he wanted me, I don't want him back. I don't want anyone. I'm "happy" alone.
Thinking of dating another guy made me feel like I've just killed Gabe another time.
I couldn't stop crying but I was still at my post, waiting for another snob buisness man to act like they were the king of the world.
A groom came next to me and asked if I were okay. No bitch. No, I'm not okay. Look at me. Do I look okay for you ? What a stupid question. No, I'm not okay.
"No." Did I simply whispered.
"That's fine, take a break. You'll feel better tomorow."
"Am I off ? Why ?" Did I asked between two rivers of tears.
"Because you really don't seem okay"
He was right. I wasn't fine at all. I just thanked him and went in the toilet.
God bless, I don't wear make-up. If I did, it would have runned down my face. I also changed my clothes.
When I went back in the lobby, I just sat on a sofa hiden in a corner.
I looked at what my sister picked for me. The jean were black, totally basic and so were the tee-shirt, exept it were white.
I had no idea if it was looking good but I didn't cared. I had another problem in mind.
I'm supposed to make my sister meet the guys.
How the hell was I supposed to do that. I can't just go and tell "hey, please meet my sister, you don't even have the choice so yeah see you soon"
I started crying again. I don't think I could ever stop.
I sat like this for a good hour and nobody cared about me.
Suddently I eard a voice.
"Ash, isn't that your girl ?
- shut up Cal, what if she ears you !!!"
"Oh my God, she's crying" said Calum.
Crap, they saw me. It just made me cry a bit more.
"Hey, what's wrong pretty girl ?" said another one, the dyed hair one.
"Why are you even asking me that, you don't give a shit about me" did I said, hiccuping
"we do give a shit" said another boy sitting next to me. Now he was close, I saw he had a lip piercing.
"You shouldn't. I'm a monster" did I whispered.
"YOU'RE NOT !"
Ashton said that. "Said" … I should say "screamed".
"You should go care about your fans. They are pretty. And they could sell their soul to see you.
- we already care about them. But it doesn't mean we can't care about you to. What's wrong ? It seems like you need to talk" Calum said this.
"i don't deserve your attention. I'm an awful person. The kind of person who forget her sister's name and her boyefriend who died 3 years ago. The kind of person who promise her sisters to meet 4 band members she doesn't even know to get some clothes to wear. I don't even remember your name exept Ashton and Calum. I knew them yesturday but I forgot it. I'm a terrible human being."
I said all this naturally. Like they were my best friends. What a stupid idea. I don't have friends. They don't care about mz. They are playing with me.
"Well, to start, I'm Luke and this is Michael. And it's okay if you don't remember our names. We just meet yesturday. And don't be worried. We're going to meet your sister, there's no prpblem if you really need it. Afterwhat, I'm sorry for your loss. I know how hurtful it can be. And what if you don't remember your sister's name ? It doesn't make you a bad person."
I looked at him. I didn't know what to say. Are they even real ? Didn't I fell asleep on the sofa ?
"Are you serious ? You're really going to meet her ?
- of course we are. Why wouldn't we." Said Ashton.
I looked at him. He was wearing a blue bandanna while he had a black one yesturday and a red one on my sister's picture.
"Thank you. Thank you very much" did I said still in tears.
"Can we get you any drink ?" asked Michael.
They were so sweet. I couldn't beleive it.
"Yes why not" did I shyly answered.
"Come on, get up, pretty girl" said Cal.
I got up and we went to a little café in the hotel. I don't think I could ever get over this. All of this is so crazy. When I think about all this, I thougt : all boys and girls of my age were getting together. All of them were falling in love. Most of them end up crying but they keep falling in love. Why ? It's completly stupid. Love makes them suffer so why keep trying again and again ? Was it real that you can't control love ? But what if I can't control my love for Ashton ? Am I even in love with Ashton ? And what is being in love ?
All this questions were stuck in my head waiting for real answers.
"Hey oh" said Michael laughing "are you awake ? I took you a frappucino, sorry I didn't know what you wanted. If you don't like it, I'll change it.
- no that's okay, thanks a lot Michael.
- your welcome Mrs."
I looked at him. "Do you know how many times I stared at your picture ?" Did I asked him in my head.
"Do you feel better ?" asked Calum. He looked honest. Like he truely cared. They all looked like they cared.
"I think yes. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry for bothering you with my annoying self though.
- you don't bother us at all !" Said Ashton
"you seem to be an amazingly nice girl" agreed Calum.
All of them agreed. Is this even real or am I still sleeping? I highly doubted.