When I got home at the end of the day, I still couldn't beleive it. It was crazy. Way too crazy to be true. And it happened all at once, the first day of work. I tried to find some logic in this but I couldn't at all. If it was a lovely dream, I would have woke up when dyed hai… Michael was opening the door or before but certainly not now. But I still don't beleive it so I decided to pinch me. Stupid teenage girls always do that when they can't belrive something in movies. Aouch. No, this ain't a dream.
I kept thinking at this for a few minutes but Moon, my mom called me for dinner.
Moon isn't her real name of course, but since I can remember, I always called her moon like I always called my dad "Pope."
I was still lost in my thougts when I were in the kitchen but nobody really noticed it, knowing I was lost in my thougts for almost 3 years now.
As ever, Pope tried to make me talk and asked me how were my first day
"Oh totally okay pope, I just saw 4 bands members, gave them pizza, laughed with them, smiled for the first time in ages and one of the band members might have a crush on me but yeah it was a normal day"
I wish I could have screamed this but I didn't. I just whispered my usual "it was okay".
He was fine with that. To be honnest, he was fine with everything. And it's cool like that.
I tried to focus on my family's convo without me, I didn't really succeded but I learned some interisting things, like my sister is going to be in year 9 next year. Damn I thougt she was 11 years old. I also knew Moon has a job since 2 years now. I never knew I had this relationship with my family. I'm disconected from everything, and the worse is I still don't know if it's a good or a bad things.
I felt like a selfish person, I was living with those people since 19 years and I still highly doubt of my sister's name. I think it's Gloria. Or Sarah. Or Rebecca. Or Amy. Damn, I seriously have no idea.
"What's your name ?" did I slowly asked to her. She looked at me like I'm an alien, but to be honest, I totally understand her.
"I … I am Jewel. My name is Jewel and I'm your sister
- I know. It was a way to start a talk" I said even throug it was a lie, I would have never guessed her name is Jewel.
Now, I was stuck, I had to start a talk. Stupid me. Stupid, stupid, stupid me.
"Do you know this 5 Seconds Of Summer band ?"
Shit. I shouldn't say that. What if she knows them ? These guys aren't that famous, are they ?
"Of course, uh"
"Do you like them ?
- Hayley, we share the same room. Their faces are all over my walls"
Shit, shit, shit. Why am I talking. Why am I not mute.
"So … who … who is your favourite ?
- Calum, but if you don't know the name of your sister how could you get who he is.
- I know who he is !!"
I screamed. I know about a band member more than I know about my own sister. I feel ashamed. I was probably looking like a tomatoe.
"He … he is the one with chine… dark hair, right ?
- congrats Hayley, you know a band member more than your sister."
It was just what I thougt a few seconds earlier. I was so ashamed. I looked down and stopped talking. I don't want to talk anymore. I want to see the four guys again. But I won't. This just came in my mind and it hitted me hard. They obviously on tour. They are here for a few days only. They have a millions of pretty girls waiting for them. They don't need me. In two or three days, they'll go away and I'll never see them again. And they will forget me. Ashton will get over me within five seconds. Ashton won't even have to get over me. Ashton don't have any crush on me. Michael was just making fun of me. I didn't felt so bad since a while. I couldn't handle that.
Suddently, I realized, I was crying. Big tears were rolling down my cheeks. And all my family were looking at me.
Moon, held my shoulder and asked me what were wrong.
"What is wrong ? Are you kidding ? I'm the worse sister and daughter you could ever ask for. I don't even know my sister's name and I know more about 5 Seconds If Summer more than I know her. And all I know of them is their names. I'm such an awfull sibling, I am what is wrong."
I said all that. I spoke out. My family heard it. I said it. I was just crying more.
Moon looked at me and she said I should go to sleep, I look very tired. She said I should blame Jewel for not helping me talking. She said I'm maybe out of this planet sometimes but they love me.
i could smell the lies in all this.
I just went in my room without asking anything. I literally ate nothing of the day and I was hungry as fuck. But I couldn't go back in the living room. I just looked at my sister's wall. There was pictures all over it and in the middle, there was a geant photo of the 4 boys. The first thing that got my attention was Michael. His hair were green instead of being lilac like this morning, And his smile. His smile were … special. In most of the pictures I've seen, he was doing weird faces but here he was just smiling. I looked at every single part of his face with attention and I ended up in weird poses to see him in a different angle. This picture obsessed me. I looked at my watch. 8 pm. I'm looking at Michael since one hour and half. I tried to look back but the Ashton's picture hooked me up. It was the same feeling as for Michael but way stronger. I stayed on my bed looking at this Ashton's picture for what seemed like a few hours. There was solething about his face. I needed to ses him. Now. To compare it with that picture. I need to look at him in every angle I can like I did with Michael. I need to see him tomorow. I need it. I'll do it.
I was planning all this in my head when Jewel came in the room. I didn't expected this at all thoug. I noticed her only when she came between me and the Ashton picture.
"Jewel, could you move a little please."
I don't even know where this was coming from but knew I wanted her to move. Sadly, she didn't.
"Why the hell should I move, Hayley ?
- I'm looking at Ashton. You're blocking my view."
That's when I said it that I realized how mean this was. But it was what qi really thougt.
She laughed and said "But Hayley !! I am the view !!!"
She was laughing like crazy. I guess I smiled a bit to.
"But you're not Ashton. Ashton is the view."
I guess I said this way too seriously but I was honesltly thinking it. I wanted to punch her. I wanted her to move. I wanted to look at Ashton.
"Where this sudden obsession with Ashton come from, between ?
- I don't know either, Jewel."
I didn't want to tell her. Not now.
"Since when do you like 5SOS ?
- What ??
- 5SOS. That's how the band is called …
- I thougt their name were 5 Seconds Of Summer."
I was very serious saying this but she laughed her head off and looked at my like I was the weirdest person ever. Wich is probably true.
"Okay then. They will be 5SOS. It still is shorter than 5 Seconds Of Summer.
- that why they are called like that most of the times.
- please, Jewel, you still didn't moved and I really wanna look at this Ashton picture."
Sorry for my english again ! Leave a comment please (even a negative one please)🙏🙏