I woke up and checked my phone, it was seven in the morning. I looked around the room and noticed that all the girls were still asleep. It had been the usual sleepover were we ate and watched movies until we fell asleep. Thank God we didn’t play anything that involved telling secrets. I imagined the look on Bec’s face if I had told her that my first kiss had been that night with her brother, then I remembered about the kiss, and as much as I wanted to see Kayden, right now I had to avoid him, mostly because I wouldn’t know if I should talk to him, ignore him, or just kiss him.
I took this opportunity to get out of the house before I had to see him. I woke Bec up and made up that Kate wanted me home to have breakfast together, big lie. She nodded and laid down again, I wasn’t sure if she had heard me but I didn’t have time to find out. I took my stuff and left trying not to be too loud.
I was walking not knowing where to go, I definitely wasn’t going home to find the house upside down and everyone passed out in the living room, my other option was going over to Jason’s house, where I knew I was always welcomed any day at any time, but at the moment I just wanted to be alone.
As I was walking I spotted a park nearby so I decided to stay for a while. I sat on the fresh grass. I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t sad either. I think I was confused, thinking about what Kayden might had felt about that kiss. Maybe he was just looking for someone to kiss or play with their feelings, but to me, that kiss was something more, I’m not sure what but it made me think about a lot of thing. I’ve known him for a month but just started talking to him less than twenty four hours ago. Of course I was attracted to Kayden in some way, he made me feel different, but it was impossible that I actually liked him, it was too soon.
I admired the park, to clear my head. It was a beautiful place, it had big trees, pretty flowers. There was a fountain with fine carvings in it placed in the middle of the park, and there were also squirrels running around. If my mother were here she would see this moment as an opportunity to take wonderful pictures. That’s how my mother expressed her feelings, by images, pictures that she would take, she felt something with each and every picture she took.
I pulled my phone out and took some pictures. Nothing, I felt nothing. They were nothing like the pictures my mother took, they didn’t mean anything. I erased them, frustrated because I had no way of setting free all my emotions. I got a pen and a notebook out of my bag and started writing.
When I was in the orphanage and I was feeling down I would write a song and then burn it or rip it, that way I would feel relieved. I poured all my feelings on the page, I erased some things and then wrote others. A few minutes later I had a finished song I called it “Like a Parachute” I was about to rip it but something about the song made me change my mind, this was the first one I’ve written since I got here so I’ll keep it. I fold it and left it beside me, I checked the time in my phone, and it was seven thirty in the morning, still too early to go home. I laid on my back thinking of how much my life has changed in the past few months, without noticing I slowly fell asleep and forgot all my worries.
“Mackenzie?” I heard someone call my name. I opened my eyes and noticed that the voice belonged to Kayden. This was embarrassing. I checked time it was eight, I had been sleeping for half an hour. Thank God it was early and there weren’t many people in the park.
“Kayden, what are you doing here?” I asked him.
“Isn’t it obvious?” He asked signaling his sporty clothes, I felt like a fool. I got out of his house to get away from him and know it’s even more awkward than it would have been at his house.
“Nice breakfast with your cousin, where is she?” He probably overheard Bec say it.
“I’m not sure, she’s probably home waiting for me, I should get going” I stood up.
“Are you trying to avoid me?” He asked and I didn’t answer I turned around and started walking.
“Mackenzie wait!” He stopped me and I couldn’t help it
“What Kayden? Ok, I am avoiding you, you overly intimidate me but at the same time I can’t stop thinking of you, first you are a jerk then you say that you want to get to know me better. Please stop, don’t make it more uncomfortable that it already was” I blurted out not even thinking about the words that were leaving my mouth.
“Mackenzie, I just wanted to tell you that your house is the other way and you forgot your bag” He said with that smile that made my insides melt. This was by far the most stupid thing I have ever done. I took my stuff and heard Kayden say “If it helps, I can’t stop thinking about you either” I smiled and just kept walking, he knew I had heard but I thought that it was better to leave it that way. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.