I suddenly regret mom ever talking me into spending the summer with dad when I hope off the plane in L.A.X. I'm wearing a pair of red converse, grey Juicy sweatpants and a tight black tank top that would actually be considered pretty cool back in Tampa but here, oh hell no. A bleach blonde looks me up and down then turns around to whisper at her friend and then they have enough nerve to giggle. Macy warned me about the girls here, guess this is the last time I don't take advice from her. People with brief cases and Chanel suitcases brush past me and my light blue Jansport. This has to be some kind of joke. I head towards a guy wearing a black suit holding up an index card with my name on it. Oh I feel so special.
"Hey that's me." I say. I mean what do you say?
"Good day miss I'll take your bag, oh and-" He swings open the door to the BMW and I slide in.
"So you spending some time with your dad?"
Wow this guy sure is a good guesser, "Um yeah just summer." I reach my hands into the sweatpants for my iPhone and pull out a gum wrapper. Great my phone is in my bag and my bag is in the back of his car. I take a deep breath and rest my head on the leather headrest and try counting all the palm trees I see. 1...5..10...20.
"Trin baby wake up." It's that voice, that voice I've only heard in person 10 years ago. His voice. My eyes fly open to see if it's really him, really daddy. It is. I want to hug him but I can't yet. Not until I get some things settled.
"Daddy?" My voice is young again, it's full of life. Then it dies, "I'm here...just like you ordered."
Dad wants to say something but it is too soon, even for him. I push my way out of the car and stop. This is not real, the house. I secretly pinch myself. This is real shit. I'm really standing in front of dad's million dollar Spanish-style estate. I look back, he grins and intentional or not his grin says 'Yeah you live in a broken down apartment in Tampa when I'm living a million dollar life right here in Calabasas. Ha'.
The driver hands me my backpack and drives off leaving me and dad in silence. Walking up the driveway leaves me panting by the time I reach the front door but dad is still the same sweat-less prick he was a dozen yards ago. He knocks once and the door flies open. Two teenagers and a young blonde lady with perfect white teeth stand before me. It's so perfect I hate it. Hate the huge crystal chandelier, the swirly stairs and most of all the fact that me and mom could of been these same people. Together.
"Hello Trin or should I call you Trinity. Oh sweetie your outfit is... very comfy. Come in- Oh wait this is Sasha and Allen- say hi kids."
"Hi," They say in unison.
"Sup." Might have not been the best choice words.
"So your room is down here on the first floor and I'm Diana by the way." I follow her down a dirt red hallway and through the colossal kitchen to a room near the living room that looks like it's never been lived in. The room is decorated with black and white wallpaper a glass desk and a queen size bed with a purple bed sheets. A simple room yet fancier than any room I've ever had.
Sometimes I like to think, am I a depressing person or is this a depressing world. Why can't I find joy in playing a game of Janga with this family I'm only temporarily living with. Why I don't laugh or get mad when the whole wooden tower of blocks come tumbling down. Maybe because I'm the only one who's lived it, maybe I'm the only one who has ever been a tower that's fell.