The Madman and the Agent | A Doctor Who and Avengers Fanfiction

The Doctor and Donna. Director Fury and Agent Hill. A strange new threat. This one's complicated.


2. Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey

"Director Fury." Nick Fury spun to see Agent Maria Hill approaching from behind him. As usual, her brown hair was swept into a thick knot at the nape of her neck. She looked lean but hardy. Her face was one that had seen much more than one should.

"What is it, Agent Hill?"

"There appears to be some activity on the coast." Fury furrowed his brow.

"What kind of activity?"

"The kind where we need more than birds." He sighed, turning toward the view of the sky from the Helicarrier.

"Get us down."  


The Doctor smacked the TARDIS console with his hammer.

"Come on!" He yelled, moving a lever with one converse-covered foot. The room shook violently. An unamused Donna clung to a column. 

"It's like you don't know how to fly this thing." She remarked drily over the great wheezing of the TARDIS engines.

"Come on, I was doing alright until you got involved."

"You said push the big button! So what do I do? I push the big button! You'd think if you said push the big button you'd mean push the big button, not the flipping bobble-headed turtle!"

"Which button did you press?!"

"The green one!" The Doctor joined her in column-hugging.

"You pressed the green one? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He somehow managed to maintain his grip on the column with one hand whilst running his fingers through his wild, hazel hair with the other. "I've been fixing it wrong. We're gonna die."

"What do you mean 'we're gonna die'?!"

"I'm too young to die. Well, not by your standards. But then, you humans don't have very high standards, do you?"

"Oi! Space man!" Donna roared, in that special frequency that only Donna could achieve. "I am not dying on some weird planet! Take us back to Earth! Now!"

"Alright, alright, I'll do it. Don't blame me if we cause a rip in the space-time continuum."

"The what?"

"Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey!"  


Tony Stark and Bruce Banner got along quite well. They were both men of science and Banner found that tolerating Stark's constant humour was a good practice method for holding the other guy back. After a while, they were enlisted to work on a project together under S.H.I.E.L.D. jurisdiction. Completely top secret, of course. All of a sudden, Banner spoke.

"We're landing." They'd been working in silence for a while so the words didn't really process in Stark's brain.

"What did you say?" 

"We're going down." They carefully placed down what they'd been tinkering with and left the room.

"Fury," called Stark, "What's going on? I thought we were due to have three more hours of sky time."

"We're getting strange readings from this stretch of coast. We thing it might be some interference from outside."

"Are we talking Asgardian outside or other outside?" Banner piped up.

"This isn't from one of the nine realms." 

"So where's it from?" Stark's voice was low.

"We don't know. We're hoping you can help us. Our main expert is currently on holiday in Asgard."

"I don't know that much about-"

"Hello!" The voice came through on the speakers, loud and tinny. "Citizens of Earth, do you read me?" Fury spoke into his headset.

"Loud and clear. Before we exchange pleasantries, I'd like to know how you hacked into a highly sophisticated computer system."

"Oh, you've got one of those? Nah, I just took over the tannoy. It's not that complicated." Fury glanced at Agent Hill, who shrugged. "Well, neither is the computer system, if you've got my ship. Which I have. Got my ship. Sorry, lost my train of thought. What was I talking about?"

"As I recall, it was 'Citizens of Earth'."

"Oh, yes. So it was. Anyway, brief thing, I'm a time-travelling alien and I'm about to crash land in your dimension. Gotta go now. Bye!" There were a few moments of stunned silence. Agent Hill cleared her throat.

"Stark, suit up."


This chapter dedicated to Sparrow3183, for her poetry.

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