*WARNING* This does involve self harm, and some cuss words* *PLEASE* Don't read if you think it might trigger something.
*** ON HOLD***

"Hello? " I asked weakly trying to stop the tears
"Kaylie?" The voice said.
"Help..me.." I said tears running down my face.
"It happen again didn't it?" the voice replied.
"Yes" I said.
"I'm coming" the voice said and hung up.

Kaylie is a girl who unwanted, bullied, and sometimes even did selfharm. Music was her only escape. She dm her favorite person tell her that she ca-..


1. 1

    So this in original story and no it not really base on something true. I know Zayn isn't in the band, but I thought if we saw another point of view of certain things. And besides this book will go out to anyone who still cares about Zayn or maybe if you just want to back to the old day you know.  

This book will have some Zerrie, Sophiam, and Larry. It also does contain self harm, swear words, violence. I recommend not reading this if you think it could trigger something.

Also this is my Second book no hate comments please. I'm like really trying with this.

Lets begins shall we.









My mother told me "Nothing in life is easy, there's always going to be hardships and obstacles to go through and the hard times we go through. But that just make us stronger." 

 Its been six years since she told me that. Six years since I had seen her smile, laugh, comfort me. Six years of wishing she could some how come back to me, come back to my father. To be one big happy family again. I smiled at the thought of being a family again. I laid on my mother's grave for a while. It was almost 4:30 pm and the sun was going to set soon. I decide that I should probably start going home. I don't want upset my dad again. I got off my mothers' grave.

 "I'll be back again tomorrow mother" I said looking at her grave then walking off.

 I walked out of the cemetery and onto the road. I put my earbuds in before I starting to walk to my house. It on takes 20 minutes to walk back at my house sometimes even quicker if I speed walk. 

 "Hey loser, haven't you learned not to walk near me or my house yet." Emma yelled across the road. I rolled my eyes and kept walking. 

 "Hey bitch, didn't you hear me?" Emma yelled again. I was two houses away from her. "Whatever, you'll get it tomorrow again."

 You guys are probably wondering who Emma is. Well the only thing you need to know is she really pretty, a bitch, and a prep. Oh she and her followers bully me like everyday. No one really stands up for me but once in a while some people do. I always say" thank you for standing up for me" and they usually answer by saying" No problem" Or just smile at me.  

 I see my house on the corner. I see my dad car isn't there which is amazing. I got to my front door opened and got inside. I ran upstairs putting my backpack in my room than going back down the stairs. I washed the dishes quickly making sure everything was clean enough.  Just as I finish cleaning my father car lights appeared. I hear his door closed. He was singing to himself and swaying side to side. Well at least  not that bad of a mood. I thought.

 I heard the key jingling. He have trouble opening the the door. He opened the door. 

"Hey,..there Kyleee.." my dad said.

"It's Kaylie.." I said in a small voice.

"Yeah thatss..What I said" he replied. I nodded.

"I'm going to *hiccups* bed now" he said walking towards the basement door opened and got in and locked it.

My dad hasn't ever slept upstairs since my mother passing. So basically I live upstairs all by myself. I grabbed some granola bars and headed upstairs.  I got in my room and locked it. I never leave my door unlocked. I'm afraid my father might hurt me again. My father is always sober in the morning so he can go through his job and drunk at nights. Sometime he's drunk in the morning and doesn't go to work. 

I go on my laptop that my aunt got me for my birthday. She knows that my dad hasn't exactly been the best caring dad in the world since her death. She kind of takes care of me from the distances but never taking me out of this place. 

 ~ Age 5

 "Mommy, daddy is eating the cookies again!"

"Honey, those are for later" 

"I know, but I love to eat these amazing cookies that my two favorite girls made" He said taking a bite out of another cookie.

"Hey" I said laughing. 


"Mom" I said tear rolling down my face.

~ Age 8

"Honey, your mommy very sick" My dad said.

"She going to get better soon right?"

"Yeah" he said with a small small smile and sadness in his eyes.

"Come on" he said my hand, "Lets make a get better soon card" 


~Age 10

"Honey mommy can't hold on any longer..." she said to me tears running down her face.

"Mom, please, don't go" I said holding her hand. My dad holds the other hand.

"Promise me you'll be strong. Okay? For me and Dad." she said.

"Okay..mom"I said.

"Nothing in life is easy, there's always going to be hardships and obstacles to go through and the hard times we go through. But that just make us stronger. love you guys..." she said with her last breath and closing her eyes.

"MOM" I scream, "MOM NO COME BACK!"

 My dad runs to my side and hug me. I hug him harder and cry my eyes out.


"I'm going to join you mother." I said tears flowing out.

I logged on twitter. 

I found Perrie on Dm and sent her a message.


I  don't know you  if you'll ever see it. But I want to tell thank you for letting my live a little bit longer.

Your music have help me through a lot. But sadly I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm not that strong enough anymore.

Please let the other girls I had said thank you to them and that I always be a fan. I'm sorry if I bother you.


Good bye.......


I go to the bathroom and grabbed my razor and cut.  I was about to go in deeper when I hear my twitter notification. I slowly go out of the bathroom to look to see who it was.


It was the only and only Perrie.







1 notification from Perrie Edwards.


 Should I open it? Or should I continue what i'm doing.  I should probably continu-

2 notification from Perrie Edwards.


Or maybe I should open it. I walk to my bathroom to clean my cut that I just made. I made my way back to my room and open the messages.


  Perrie Edwards reply:

 Message 1 sent at 5:55pm PLEASE DON"T GO!

 Message 2 sent at 5:57pm I know its not easy. I know it hard. But please you are strong enough. You are not alone. 

You are strong enough to live this long, you are strong enough to live till the end.  I know that sometimes even the strongest people break. But please stay. I don't know what you are going through but maybe I could help. I really hope are alive still and is reading this.

Tears stream down my face. I don't know if it was because she saw it or if she actually cared for me. 

I went to the bathroom to hide my razor and cleaning anything that might have gotten blood on.  I went back to my room and started typing. 

This is how it all began.





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