Journal Entry #8
I already know that the only person reading this is you professor. It took a week for you to give us our journals back and you publicly called several people out on faking their entries. Surely the TAs couldn’t do that unless they spied on each of your students, but that would be an invasion of privacy and you wouldn’t be teaching us. I also observed that your handwriting is the same as on the board and not the assignments we’ve gotten back. It’s good to know that you kept your word saying you and only you would read these journals; nobody else needs to know what’s going on.
I looked up from my notebook, debating on whether I should scratch out that paragraph. It’s true, I at least needed to say this before I wrote anything else down. Maybe I could actually start using this notebook to let out some emotion I’ve held in… or maybe not.
“Elsa?” my sister knocked on my door.
“Yeah?” I answered putting my journal away.
“Nothing. I just haven’t see you all day.” She said letting herself in and sitting on my bed.
“All day? It’s only 12:30.”
“Yeah, it’s not morning anymore.”
“That’s true.” I said stretching. “How was last night?” I already saw my sister’s eyes light up the moment I asked.
“It was fun.” She answered. “We just had dessert, then walked around for a bit.”
“When did you guys get back?”
“I don’t know. Maybe 12ish.” She shrugged, but then a sly smile came on her face. “The question is; where have you been?”
“I’ve been here. I didn’t go anywhere today… except the kitchen and the bathroom.”
“Then how come you weren’t here last night when I got home?” she questioned. A lump in my throat formed as I started to panic.
“What are you talking about? I was here.”
“Then how come when I went to check on you, you weren’t in your bed?” she smirked.
“I-“ was lost for words.
Who were you with last night Elsa?” my sister asked.
“I… was… with…” Jack. “A boy.” My sister immediately jumped up and pulled me to my bed.
“Details. Now.” She demanded with excitement in her eyes.
“Anna.” I sighed,
“Please Elsa. Give me something! You said you wouldn’t keep secrets from me this year.” She pleaded. I could feel the guilt rising in my chest when she looked me in the eye. I did make a promise with my sister, so far she kept her end by telling me what’s going on in her life. It’s only my responsibility to hold up my end.
“Fine, just promise me you won’t get mad.” She smiled and crossed her heart, something she always did with me. I told her the drink the guy gave me was spiked and that’s why I wasn’t feeling very well. The part where he tried to lead me into an alley and someone stopped him. To waking up and finding-
“Jack?” my sister gasped. “As in Jerkface Jack.” I giggled at his nickname whenever I spoke about him… used to speak about him. I know now that he is anything but a jerkface…. Maybe.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “He was really sweet to me. I tried saying thank you and kept telling him I need to repay him, but he refused so many times.”
“Well… yeah.” I sighed. Anna’s face lit up with joy and she squealed.
“What are you gonna do Elsa?” she cheered. I don’t understand why she’s getting al excited, this isn’t a date.
“I don’t know Anna.” I replied. “I have no clue what’s planned for tomorrow.”
“Yeah, tomorrow… 8 o’clock.” I answered with hesitation. Anna’s eyes went wide.
“Okay, part of me thought you were joking about the whole thing.” Anna relaxed. “Like this all seems too fake.
“I know.” I nodded. “But it happened Anna.” Her face went from her cheery normal self to a more serious tone than I’m used to seeing her in.
“Will you be okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, at least I know he can take care of us if need be.” I teased.
“No I mean… you haven’t heard about the stuff he’s done?”
“What do you mean?” I asked starting to feel my blood run cold.
“Like, how he got hit reputation.”
“What reputation?” I slightly panicked. “Jerkface?” Anna shook her head.
“So you’re really oblivious then.”
Anna I don’t judge people before I really get to know them… well I try not to.” I reasoned. “Who told you these things?”
“Everyone. Astrid, Punzie, Ryder.”
“Flynn. You know his name is Flynn Ryder right?”
You’re getting off topic sister.” I smirked. “What kind of stuff have they told you?” Anna pursed her lips, probably debating whether or not she should tell me.
“He’s dangerous.” She started. “Astrid told me this whole story when he was 12, then again when he was 16.”
“It still follows him, doesn’t it?” she nodded.
“I didn’t think anyone could be capable of it because… it was just unbelievable.” She opened her mouth to tell me more, but I held up my hands to stop her.
“Don’t.” I stopped. “Just don’t.” Anna bit her lip, but let the situation go. I could tell that what she wanted to say was going to bust from her head if she didn’t let it out.
“One thing.” I agreed. Anna took a deep breath before revealing something I did not expect… at all.
“He’s killed someone before…”
I lay across my bed just killing time until I had to meet with Jack. Anna’s words still haunted me even though she told me more than 24 hours ago. Images of Jack fighting with my attacker kept flashing in my brain. The way he kept throwing his punched even though his opponent wasn’t moving anymore… but how could someone that violent have the ability to be so sweet and gentle as well? And even though Anna told me that little detail, does that really change the way I see him? I mean, I wouldn’t want someone to judge me based on my past, especially during my dark times.
My phone buzzed beside my head, stopping my train of thought. Jack.
Do you want me to meet you at the bakery? Or would you rather I pick you up? I felt butterflies in my stomach flutter as I typed a response.
How about I meet you at your place?
Sure… I guess.
Okay, sounds good. I put my phone down and tried to relax. No way I would have him come here, Anna would be either terrified or supper paranoid. I would meet him at the bakery, but I have no clue where it is; and asking Anna would also mean she could spy on me.
I checked the time and just forced myself to get ready. Maybe a shower would calm me down… wait why am I nervous? This isn’t a date… with a killer. This is just a peace offering so we can call it even.
The hot water coming in contact with my skin felt amazing, but if anything I felt even more nervous coming out of the shower. I quickly threw on some sweats so I could do my hair and maybe apply some make-up. I didn’t want to over kill it, so I just curled my hair, applied some eyeliner, mascara and some lip butter. By the time I was finished, it was only 6:30.
“Okay calm down Elsa.” I told myself. “This isn’t a date or anything. Stop overthinking this.”… But was I really overthinking this? When I was curling my hair all I kept thinking about was Jack’s lips on my neck whenever a curl brushed against my skin. And when I was looking in the mirror, I kept seeing the way Jack was staring at me in the elevator. God damn it! Why does he have this effect on me?
No stop it Elsa. You’re over thinking it.
Yes you are. You can’t possibly have feeling for him.
I never said that, but-
No. You feel nothing for him.
Not true. Who am I kidding? I’m excited to see him tonight.
“Knock. Just knock.” I told myself as I stood in front of the door to Jack’s dorm. Wait, I should just text him, Hiccup might be here.
I’m outside your door. I texted Jack. Within seconds, the door in front of me opened.
“You could’ve just knocked.” He chuckled. I was taken aback as he was wearing a black wife beater and grey sweats yet still looked pretty goddamn gorgeous.
“Well I didn’t know if your roommate was home.” I reasoned as I stepped in.
“I do. He doesn’t know that I’m seeing you right now.”
“So you’re embarrassed to be here right now.” He challenged.
“Oh you’re one to talk. What if your friends saw you with me?” I snapped. He looked at me with a slightly angry expression, but relaxed.
“Touché.” He said going to his room. I followed him.
“Look. I’m not embarrassed to be here with you.” I said; that’s the truth. “But I just don’t want to surprise Hiccup since he still thinks I hate your guts.” Jack laughed as he pulled out a white shirt and some black jeans.
“Do you hate my guts?” he asked before pulling his top off. I nearly choked on my words when I saw him shirtless for the first time. I knew he had tattoos, but the ones on the back of his neck branched out to his shoulders and down his arms. He didn’t have nearly as any tattoos as I though he did; his back and torso were still untouched by ink.
“Well could you blame me?” I laughed to cover my shaky voice. “You were such a jerk to me.”
“Well I’m sorry.” He said putting his white shirt on. “Being a jerk is kind of my thing.”
“Can’t argue with you there.” I teased sitting on his bed. He unexpectedly pulled his sweats down, leaving him in his boxers before putting on his jeans.
“I know I’m pretty, but could you not stare?” he snapped me out of my trance. I didn’t even realize I was staring at him.
“Sorry.” I blushed. He chuckled and grabbed his phone, keys and wallet.
“Let’s go.” He said as he grabbed his blue hoodie from his chair. We stepped out of his dorm and he locked the door behind him.
“Where are we going exactly?” I asked as he called the elevator.
“Have you eaten yet?” I shook my head. “I know a place.”
“I’m paying.” I blurted. Jack gave me a look. “That’s the point of this little hangout.”
“Fine.” He rolled his eyes just as the elevator doors opened.
“But I’m driving.”
“Fine.” Once we got down to the garage, we spent no time getting out and onto the road. For a few minutes of awkward silence, Jack was the one who broke it.
“You can put some music on if you want.”
“I- uh…” I trailed.
“In there.” He said pointing at the glove box. I opened it up to find a small collection of CDs; some bands I didn’t recognize others I did. I sifted through the discs and found a familiar black case that I listen to basically every day.
“Arctic Monkeys?” Jack questioned.
“Yeah, I love them.” I blushed. He smiled and turned up the volume so we could jam out to that catchy guitar riff. As I was humming the lyrics, I kept looking through his collection. He had really good taste in music.
Cage the Elephant
3 Days Grace
Then I saw some bands that were older, like I was barely a teenager when I heard their songs. Especially:
Red Hot Chili Peppers
“Didn’t know you were such a music fanatic.” Jack chuckled as I started admiring an Ed Sheeran Album.
“Just for good music.” I clarified.
“You don’t like the top 40?”
“I do. But most of the songs are about the same thing or sound really similar.”
“Really? Care to give an example?”
“California Gurls and Tik Tok.” I said bluntly. “Pretty much every song on the radio is about sex and parties or break-ups.”
“So Taylor Swift?”
“Exactly. Like they broke up with you, get over it.” I laughed and he laughed along with me.
“Come one, some of her songs aren’t that bad.” He defended her.
“I know, I know.” I smiled. “Her catchy songs aren’t that bad.” It was surprising that Jack and I bickered about music for a good 10 minutes before he parked the car. The comfortable air suddenly turned thick with tension.
“Where are we?” I asked,
“A small diner few people know about. “ He answered getting out of the car. “Come one, you’ll like it here.” I took a breath to calm my nerves and stepped out of the car. He opened the door for me and I stepped into the small diner. The hostess sat us down in a booth by the window.
“What is this place?” I asked taking my scarf off.
“Panagio’s. It’s a secret place that people find when they’re lost.” He chuckled as he shrugged his leather jacket off.
“You only fine good things on accident.” He smiled as he opened up his menu. I opened mine. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was referring to something else. Knowing I would overthink it I waved it off.
“What’s good here?” I asked.
“Pretty much everything. Especially the Banquet Burger.” I looked down to find it.
“Barbeque Bacon Cheeseburger? Sold.” I said putting my menu down. I started drooling just thinking about it.
“Try it with a root beer.” He suggested. As if she was a mind reader, the waitress came to us to take our order.
“Hello, I’m Molly. I will be your server today.” She introduced to me, but then saw Jack. “Oh hey Jack, I didn’t see you there.”
“It’s pretty obvious that I’m here.” He smirked gesturing to the lack of customers.
“True. I just never expected you to be with someone.” She smiled at me. I felt my cheeks heat up as she referred to me like that.
“We’re just friends.” Jack interrupted. I couldn’t help but feel some relief… but also slightly hurt when he said that.
“She must be special if you brought her here then.” She murmured probably thinking I didn’t hear her. I opened my mouth to say something but she interrupted by taking our order. Jack and I ended up getting the same thing. Once she left, I couldn’t stop her words from echoing in my head despite the conversation I was having with Jack.
‘She must be special if you brought her here…’
Hey guys! Sorry i haven`t been posting lately, but since the break is coming soon my classes are becoming crazy. hopefully during the break i can post more and tweak the sequel before i actually post the prologue on Christmas. Yes i am SOOOOOO EXCITED for you guys to see it! Hopefully you guys enjoy both stories, they`ll be here for awhile. I`ll edit everything when i`ve go the time but i sadly do not right now. I`ll see you guys soon... hopefully. Feedback is always appreciated Luv ya! Happy Reading ;)