Have you ever noticed how horrible school halls are? Filled with desperation, testosterone and depression. There are the nerds, jocks, and popular girls; and if you don’t fit in any of the groups, well... You’re classified as a social outcast and it sucks so much when you’re one of them. Believe me, I know.
The name’s Lainley Carter, seventeen and socially unfit; yay me. I’m only short which helps me get by unnoticed, I guess. I’m roughly 5’2”, and I have long brown hair that reaches half way down my back. It curls perfectly and I guess if I had a nicer face, I could squirm my way into the group of popular girls. No clue why I would want too though. They’re all sluts, dirty, drug crazed sluts. I should keep those thoughts to myself, don’t want to get into another fight. It sucks.
Anyway, my parents tried to tell me that I’m talented and once, I listened to them. I signed up to the school talent show and sung my heart out. I got stoned. Not stoned as “Woah, look at the starts, imagine how many universes are there” but literally stoned. Like Jesus. I’m not comparing myself to Jesus; I don’t even follow that religion. It put me in hospital for a few weeks and those who threw the stones at me didn’t even get punished.
After the humiliation of the talent show, I shut down and locked out everyone who tried to speak to me at school. It’s true that that really didn’t change anything as no one talked to me anyway but still, I began blocking out the teachers. My marks never changed though. Still got high marks, even though I sat at the back of class, playing games on my various DS’s. And to this day, nothing has changed. I still don’t fit into any of the groups. I’m still a social outcast and I still block people out.
Sometimes I feel so pathetic. After the talent show, I pretended that I actually made friends through that whole thing. That people felt sorry for me and started to talk to me and I’d started to make friends. Now my parents believe that I have friends. Lots of them and I’m happy. I use the skills I’d learnt in VCD (Visual Communications Design) to create photos of me and girls I’d found online to be my ‘friends’ and I would invite them over on days when my parents worked late. They’re both doctors so they’re always at work so it would make sense for them to never see my friends. How sad is that? Thank God no one at school knows about this though. It would shred my dignity, even though I don’t have any anyhow.
Recently, things at school have been changing a little bit. I still act the same and I still don’t fit in but people don’t look at me anymore. I ghost around the halls, almost through people. Give it a few weeks and I’ll even be able to do that. I’ll be so invisible that people will walk straight through me. I hear the occasional rude word tossed my way or a dirty glance. But compared to how much it used to happen, I guess I’m slightly at ease and get on with my life.