I laid in the middle of the double bed, staring as Harry stood at the end. A reassuring smile grew on his lips, his dimples becoming prominent as I tried swallowing down the hard lump lodged in my throat. My heart was beating madly in my chest as I silently watched Harry grip the hem of his shirt, slowly tugging it up. His strong stomach and toned V-lines were soon revealed, making me groan. Harry grinned at my reaction as he tugged the material over his head, throwing it to the floor beside him.
“You okay?” he asked, watching my shaking form lying on the bed.
I nodded quickly, not trusting my voice. I wanted this so much, but I didn’t know how my body would react to the amount of intimacy that was about to be put upon me. I watched as Harry got on all fours at the end of the bed, slowly crawling up to me. My stomach flipped inside of me, his bottom lip taken between his teeth as he approached me.
I gazed up at him as he hovered above me, his hands either side of my head, my body between his legs.
“Just say if it gets too much,” Harry murmured, cupping my chin softly in one of his hands. “We have all the time you need.”
I nodded, taking steady, deep breaths. Harry’s touch left my chin to take my hand in his, guiding it to his naked upper body. Harry’s head lowered to watch him lead my hand across the soft skin of his chest, his dark curls falling around his face. My gaze followed our hands, fingertips tingling at the feeling of Harry’s hard abs. I couldn’t stop the small whimpers falling from my mouth, causing a grin to burst onto Harry’s face, clearly amused by my reactions.
Harry’s hand left mine to wander his body alone, his head lifting to catch my gaze. He swept the hair from my forehead, his teeth sinking into his lip as I ran my fingertips along his body. But the smile slowly faded from my lips, an eruption of forceful heat burning under my skin. The beast was already fighting its way out of my body. A sudden intake of breath was sucked through Harry’s lips. I hadn’t realised my hand had clenched, my fingernails digging deeply into his skin. Harry’s hand caged over mine, gently pulling it back from his chest. He gave me a reassuring smile, lowering my hand back down to my side.
“Let me do the touching,” he muttered, bringing a smile back to my lips.
I quickly agreed with him before Harry’s upper body rose for him to straddle me. I watched intently as he reached down, slowly undoing each button of his shirt I was wearing. I held my breath once the final button had been released, Harry peeling back the material to reveal my body. His large hands grazed my breasts before trailing down my sides, his fingertips running down to my hips to grip them softly.
“You’re perfect,” Harry whispered, his head lowering to leave a soft kiss to my stomach above my belly button. But my smile had dropped from my lips at his compliment, gaze lowering in embarrassment. Harry’s head lifted back up so see my dejected expression, his hands still gripping my hips. “You don’t believe me, do you?” he asked softly, his eyes searching mine for the answer. I slowly shook my head. I’ve never felt comfortable in my skin. I’ve always been so skinny and seeing Harry’s solid body made me dislike myself even more.
My eyes lifted up as Harry’s hands reached out to cradle my head. His body bent down, a warm kiss pressed to the corner of my mouth. I moaned softly, the low tingles of the beast re-emerging once again. He finally withdrew, pressing his forehead down onto mine.
“Rosalie, you’re gorgeous,” he mumbled, staring intently into my eyes. “You may not think that you are, but trust me. You couldn’t be any more perfect to me.”
A broad smile was brought to my lips. Harry’s thumbs rubbed gently at my cheeks, a corner of his mouth curling up.
“Now let me make you feel good.”
I swallowed hard at his words, his back straightening again to straddle me. Harry’s large hands fisted the open material of my shirt, gently pulling on it, indicating for me to sit up. I raised my upper body from the covers. Harry sat back on my legs, the skin of our chests grazing. I held my breath, gazing at Harry as he slowly pulled the material of my shirt off my shoulders. His head dipped down, soft kisses trailing across my shoulder as the material fell.
I let out a long sigh, head tilted back as my hands were pressed to the mattress behind me to support myself. I felt the material of my shirt fall down my arms. He soon threw it to the ground by the bed, our bare upper bodies pressed together. Harry’s arms flung around me, holding my nervous body close to his.
“How are you feeling?” he whispered into my ear.
My hesitation made Harry withdraw from me. He cupped either side of my neck, searching my eyes as if seeking an answer. I lowered my gaze, the strong sense of power growing in my body. I tried focusing my mind back onto the roof, but it was hazy in my head. But I didn’t want to tell Harry that. I didn’t want this to end.
“I’m fine,” I mumbled, giving Harry a false smile.
“Good,” he murmured, gently pushing at my shoulders to lower me back down to the mattress. My torso fell back down to the mattress, a devilish grin aimed down at me. Harry shifted above me until his strong body was lying on top of mine. His large hand ran down my side, his lips leaving sweet kisses along my jaw. I cursed as Harry’s touch landed in my crotch, his other large hand beside my head. A worried expression took over Harry’s smirk at my reaction.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked softly, his warm breath fanning over my lips.
I nibbled at my bottom lip, thinking of the best answer. I could sense my muscles were aching to have more power boosted into them, but if I gave them that then there would be a high chance Harry would get hurt. But at the same time Harry’s touch made my stomach flip over with excitement. It was a new adventure into our relationship. I didn’t want to disappoint Harry.
“No,” I whispered, letting a smile relax onto my face.
Harry grinned, his touch shifting in my crotch. My body jumped as Harry yanked down the zip of my jeans.
“It’s okay,” he reassured me. “Remember just tell me if you want to stop.”
I nodded silently, taking my bottom lip between my teeth. Harry’s fingers were wrapped around the belt loops, gently tugging my jeans down. My backside rose from the covers to allow the material to fall lower, the whole time Harry staring down at me as if protecting me from any dangers. I held my breath in my lungs until my jeans were around my ankles, Harry shuffling down my legs on his knees to pull them lower. Once he was knelt at my feet, his head lifted to gaze up at me, a cheeky smirk adorning his face. He ripped the jeans from around my ankles, throwing them to the floor beside the bed.
I tilted my head forward, watching Harry crawl back up to me. My heart beat madly in my chest as I laid with him in just my panties and bra. As soon as his body laid back on top of me, a low snarl began erupting in my ears. I grunted at the ear piercing noise, my face scrunched up in pain.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, trying to catch my attention.
I let out a long breath through my gritted teeth, tensing my muscles to force the beast back for the time being, trying to relax my body.
“Nothing,” I breathed. “I’m fine.”
“You sure, because I was hoping you’d do something for me,” he murmured lowly, grabbing my hands and taking them in his. He gave them a tight squeeze before he suddenly rolled us over, the swift action forcing a gasp from me. I was on top of him now. It was my turn to take control. And that scared me.
My hands were placed on his belt buckle, Harry biting at his bottom lip.
“Take them off for me,” he pleaded, letting my hands go for me to do as he wished. He nodded down to my hands in his crotch, silently pleading with his eyes. A lazy smile grew on his lips as I unbuckled his belt, his head relaxing into the pillow. My shaking hands fiddled clumsily with the button of his jeans, nervous breaths tumbling through my lips. Suddenly warmth struck my cheeks. My heart stopped in my chest, assuming it was the beast in me trying to escape, but as I lifted my gaze from between me and Harry I realised Harry’s hands were cradling my head in reassurance.
“Take your time, Rosie,” he mumbled. “I can wait.”
I let out a long sigh as I finally managed to undo his button, tugging at his zip. Harry groaned softly under me, his chest vibrating against mine. I couldn’t stop the cheeky grin spreading across my face at the sight of him under me. His curls were spread out messily on the pillow supporting his head, his hands now at the bed covers, fisting them.
I rose from his body to straddle him, curling my fingers into the band of his jeans. I swiftly tugged at them, enjoying the reaction I was causing from Harry. He grunted with pleasure, staring up at me through hooded eyes.
“What are you doing to me, Brookes?” he groaned with a cheeky smirk.
I grinned, shuffling down his body on my knees to tug his jeans down with me. Once I was knelt at the end of the bed, the denim around Harry’s ankles, I took in the sight of Harry lying before me in only a pair of tight Calvin Klein boxers.
“Like what you see?”
My gaze flickered back up his body to meet his eyes, full of lust. I tore off his jeans before reaching out from the end of the bed and gripped his inner thigh, squeezing roughly.
“Maybe I do,” I mumbled, slowly trailing my hand up his leg.
His lips parted with pleasure, soft groans falling from his lips. “Oh God,” he breathed.
His gaze watched my hand move up his thigh. I took my lip between my teeth, my eyes following my touch too. Just as I reached the leg of his boxers, my eyes fell upon a bulge confined in the material, desperately straining to be let out. The sight brought sharp tingles racing through my veins, the beast growling in my ear. I instinctively pulled my hand back. A long breath fell from Harry’s mouth, his tense body sinking back down into the mattress. My gaze fell with shame. I was disappointing him. He wanted to be teased, but I couldn’t do it to him.
Harry quickly sat up, his large hands gripping my hips. He lowered me back down with him, my body lying heavily on top of his. Our foreheads were pressed together as I let out a shaky sigh, Harry grazing his lips on mine.
“Just relax, baby,” he murmured. “Squeeze my hand if it gets too much.”
He took my hand in his, slipping his fingers between my own. We were gently rolled back over, my body lying comfortably under Harry’s. His body caged around me, my hand being squeezed softly in reassurance. I felt Harry gradually lower his hips back onto mine, a stiff bulge pressed into my crotch. I held my breath, keeping Harry’s constant gaze.
“This is what you do to me, Rosalie,” he muttered, slowly grinding his hips on mine.
I groaned softly with each rub, my head tilted back slightly. My lips parted to let out a long sigh, my hand still clutched in Harry’s. A mixture of heated tingles shot out through my body, my mind unsure if it was pleasure or the beast inside me. I released a low grunt, Harry’s rocking motion increasing. My eyes fell closed, Harry sprinkling kisses on my neck. But a sharp set of teeth was bright in the shadows of my mind, grinding together, blood dripping from the tips. I tried pushing it away, focusing back to the day on the roof, Harry’s arms around me, soft words of comfort in my ear.
Throaty groans began emanating from above me. My eyes shot open to find Harry’s face contorted with pleasure, his hips growing faster against mine. Beads of sweat began to emerge on his forehead, his dark curls a mess on his head.
My skin tingled as Harry’s fingers trailed down my side before appearing at the band of my panties. His hand skimmed over my crotch, forcing a whimper from me.
“I’m going to touch you, Rosie,” Harry stated, glistening eyes gazing down at me. “You okay with that?”
I should say no. The beast was close, too close for my liking. But I needed to feel every part of Harry’s body on mine. Now.
Harry returned the grin, his two fingers gently rubbing me up and down my core over my panties. I tilted my head back at this rare experience, feeling Harry’s thumb rub over my covered clit.
Harry’s head soon dipped down, lips pressed to the skin of my neck, slim fingers curling under my crotch. I’d never experienced anything like this before. I’d try to do it to myself a few times, but the beast in me didn’t like it. Having Harry’s hand rub me felt so pleasurable. My whole body felt amazing, numbing the feeling of the beast arising inside of me. So I had no idea it was coming.
Suddenly Harry kissed just under my jawline, tipping me over the edge.
My hand clenched tight onto Harry’s side like a vice, my hips rocking with Harry’s touch. I was losing it, my control. Low snarls emitted from my mouth, Harry’s frightened eyes widening with shock. My hips were violently thrusting upwards into Harry, my head tilted back in a mixture of pain and pleasure.
“Rosie, calm down,” Harry tried reassuring me.
My other hand clenched tighter around Harry’s hand that I was holding as he tried pulling back. Harry’s other hand was still rubbing me, making me curse loudly at the feeling, until he slowed down, his touch lifting from my crotch. My head shot up from the pillow, glaring at Harry through narrowed eyes.
“Don’t stop,” I growled, letting his side go to force him to rub me.
“But I want to, Rosie,” he pleaded, trying to squirm both hands out of mine. “It’s getting too much. Let me stop.”
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. The beast had a grip of my heart, making me do things I didn’t want to do. Harry was right. It was getting too much. I had no control anymore and that put Harry in so much danger.
“Oh God, Harry, it hurts,” I whimpered, my face scrunched up with the pain of heat scorching my skin. I knew I should have stopped this before, but the pleasure was too desirable. I’ve only ever had a few intimate moments with other men in the past. I’ve never had sex before. The beast would get too excited. It would be released and I wouldn’t be able to stop it. I’d put the one I loved in danger. That was the vicious punishment. I wanted intimacy, but I kill if I have it.
Warmth struck my forehead, Harry pressing his to my own. My hand was still making Harry rub me roughly, the beast overpowering my actions.
“Rosie,” he whispered. “Look at me.”
I peeled my eyes open, my features creased with pain. Harry let a smile warm up his face, but fright sparkled in his eyes. I suddenly screamed out, my back arching from the mattress. The beast was close to the surface of my body. I could feel it. My name was continuously called over my screams of pain, Harry trying to get my attention.
“…the roof,” I finally heard, the pained noises emanating from my mouth simmering down to whimpers. “Remember when we were up on the roof. Rosie? Rosie, can you hear me?”
I nodded quickly, squeezing my eyes shut. My blood was bubbling under my skin, making my head throb agonisingly.
“Keep hold of my voice, Rosie. Picture us back on the roof, the cottage ahead of us.”
“I can’t,” I strained to say, my eyes still tightly shut.
“Of course you can,” Harry calmly reassured. “Just picture it. For me, Rosie.”
I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip in order to stop the pained groans falling from my mouth. Harry’s voice was trying to reach me, but it couldn’t make it. Everything around me was dark, no light, no roof, no Harry. Just blackness. And a deep raspy laugh.
I suddenly yelped, bringing my thoughts back to the room. I was digging my fingernails into Harry’s wrist, still making him rub me. Tears were brimming over Harry’s watery eyes. The sight broke my heart. I wanted my control back. Now.
I held the breath in my lungs, holding a picture of Harry hurt, bleeding and bruised. It hurt so much, but I had to do it. To get my control back. I strained every muscle in my body, feeling Harry squirming in my grip. I didn’t want to hurt him. I really didn’t. I let out pained grunts as I used all my strength to free Harry, to push this beast away.
With one final pull, I finally released Harry’s hand, the rubbing motion against me ceasing instantly. Every part of my body just sunk as I lay heavily under Harry, letting out a long breath. The skin of his chest was so soft against mine, instantly calming me.
Harry stared down at me until I was back to normal again. I lazily lifted my gaze to meet Harry’s, a sob falling through my lips. My chest heaved against Harry’s, his gaze lowering to avoid mine. Guilt smashed into me like a wave. I’d scared him.
“It was too much,” I croaked. “I didn’t know it would go that far. Are you hurt?”
My eyes lowered to his hand I had hold of, red marks adorning his slim wrist. He quickly moved it out of my sight, shaking his head
“No, I’m fine,” he muttered. “What happened, Rosie? Did you picture the roof like I said? Could you see it?”
I shook my head slowly, holding my bottom lip between my teeth. I couldn’t do it. The roof, it wasn’t there. In my mind it was just dark. And that laugh. His laugh. Always there to haunt me. Is that what’s it’s going to be like for the rest of my life? Nothing but darkness?
“It’s alright,” Harry murmured above me, catching my gaze again. “We’ll try again soon. I promise. Just give it time, Rosie. I’ll be here for you for when you’re ready.”
I nodded weakly, letting my eyes fall closed as Harry’s forehead rested heavily on mine. His lips were so close, but I couldn’t even touch them. Why did I even think I could get this intimate with Harry and be able to keep the beast at bay? Once again I’d put Harry in danger.
“I still love you,” he whispered. “That will never change.”
I let a corner of my mouth curl up slightly. His breath warmed my lips, his body heat encircling my shaking body. I let my eyes fall closed, listening to the calming sound of Harry breathing above me. I slid my arms around his body, feeling soft kisses sprinkle over my face.
“I thought you’d leave me,” I muttered. “I thought you would get bored of me because I can’t give you what you want, because I’m boring.”
My eyes peeled open, my heart still thumping madly in my chest.
“I thought you’d stop loving me.”
A warm kiss was pressed to the corner of my mouth. My lips fell open to let out a satisfied breath, his fingers curled around my hip.
“Never,” he whispered.
The smile grew wider on my face, Harry’s eyes glistening with love. I believed him. I trusted him.
“I’d better get up,” he murmured. “You know...to finish off.”
I finally realised a stiff bulge was still pressed into me, Harry’s cheeks burning a deep red. I laughed as he rolled off, lifting his torso from the bed. I watched his back muscles expand and contract as he swung his legs off the bed and stood up. His tight black boxers clung to his body, every part of him clearly exposed to me. My eyes followed him as his slim legs carried him towards the en suite, back muscles flexing with each step.
But as Harry approached the door a loud thump suddenly boomed into the flat. Harry froze to the spot, the muscles in his arms tense.
“Oi, Harry,” a deep voice slurred. “Let us in, will ya?”