2. Chapter 1
Sometimes I feel like a war. Not physically as in getting hit and shot and wounded but mentally I feel like a war. Your probably thinking, don’t you need two sides for a war? There are two sides; my head and my heart. My head has all the strategies but my heart has all the emotions and weapons. They shoot at each other non-stop, fighting and arguing, never agreeing. Then there is me, amongst the war, the one getting battered and bruised. Do they care? No.
All though that is like real wars. Two sides that don’t care about the people they batter and bruise, the innocent citizens they kill and injure. Perhaps when I feel a war, I am a war. Instead of people watching live news coverage of Afghanistan, in an entirely other universe, people are watching live news coverage of the war of Caitlin. I can just imagine an alien Dad, fat beer belly and mug of steaming tea calling his wife over, telling her to look at the insanity unfolding on screen. Then the alien Mother, white lacy apron tied around her slim waist nods sympathetically and watches as her alien kids come bounding down the stairs. She tells them not to watch as it is too graphic and she fears they may have nightmares so they bound off into the garden alive with freshness and spring. You never know, it could be true. And hello to the alien Mum, alien Dad and alien kids if they’re reading this.
This is a book. Well, a more revealing book then any normal book. One that opens deep into my mind and channels towards my soul, twisting and turning into the darkest parts. Then snaking like a deadly python, it travels into my confusing mind where you can discover all my shocking and scary thoughts. As I write this, I’ll pretend that I’m not writing it. Well, I am but I’ll write it as if I’m in the moment. Not lying here on my Avengers Super-Hero duvet set writing this into an old, scrappy notebook I found for 50p at a random market stall. Shall I begin? It’s hard to think of specific point to start. It’s so much to write my wrist will probably get tired but oh well. Let’s see, um, let’s start the day I met Kye. Yes, I know this is so girly, but it’s true so, let’s get on with it…