When I got back, I was too late. Secrets was still living. Just living but Kenny, She was a different story. Lying in the corner. Shivering from blood loss. Her hair in matts. Secrets and I got her out but when we got home her breath was shallow, her eyes half shut. She was gone. We all knew it, just had trouble to believe it was happening. Secrets laid her on the couch. Not letting anybody help, heal or talk to her. Just her and him in those last precious moments. I was sat at the door waiting for a miracle. Of news that she was fine, she was well, she wasn't going to leave. Sadly I was wrong. I fell forward as secrets opened the door. Tears streaming down his fur cheeks.
"No" Was his simple answer as he looked down on me. His eyes just letting all tears loose.I didn't know what to do. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I ran through the house and down into the training room. I had no feelings left. My heart was broken beyond repair. My hands felt over the sharp metal of knives, the smooth wood of a bow. The possibilities of what I could use were endless. I picked up the hard leather of the knife and slipped more into my bag as I got ready to throw them at the target in the corner of the room. The one untouched. The one bought for Kenny. I started to throw knives at the target, just like Kenny would have liked me to. If she was here. I felt the anger drip out of me with every knife I threw, Hitting bullseye and occasionally the white on the sides. I just imagined the kalmo guards on a spinning wheel in front of me, And with every knife I hit their heart. The people who had killed my sister. And taken away the meaning of love and life from my brother. I heard the door creak open behind me, with a knife up in my hand i spun round on my heel. Into my battle pose.
"Only me" Queenie said strutting across the room in a black dress and heels. "We're going to the funeral. You joining us?"
"No" I said gritting my teeth "I couldn't bear it"
I fell limp hands at my sides. I felt such a coward. My sister. Her funeral and I wasn't going.
"Um. I know alex wanted to go" I whispered. My lips hardly moving.
"I'll get him then" Queenie mumbled before running out of the room.
"Oh yeah Topic?" She said poking her head round the door
I sat at home while it went on. Sewing away. Finishing this dress I had dreamed of making for her. Before it was too late. The cream fabric spiraled around my chair. The machine whizzing. Secrets had the suit, The ring he was to give her later on. But she had no dress. I was in the process of making it. Cute yet angry. The Kenny way. As I finished the dress with a black lace overlay I couldn't help but think if it wasn't her. What if it was me, or Alex, or maybe even Secrets. How different would it have been? I pushed the thought from my mind and slipped on some trainers. I wasn't riding there with the tears obscuring my vision. Two of us gone would've been to much. Walking through the forest to the churchyard was the worst. The memories of the times we'd spent there as a family. All of us. Sword fights, knife throwing, Bow shooting. The Shadownight way. The proper way.
When I reached the grave I couldn't help but cry. My tears watering the grass beneath me. The flowers placed by the family members before me had all died in due course. But I couldn't bring myself to move them. They were now Kennedy's. Not mine. I laid the box with the dress down onto the mud of the grave itself. With the envelope and letter contained inside. Along with the dress, A wedding dress. I just sat there for hours. My mind whizzing with thoughts. My heart breaking evermore. The headstone I had never paid attention to before suddenly stood out to me. Its white marble a light in these dark days. To me I interpreted it as Kenny being the light to these dark days. Even though she had moved on from the fine line from heaven and earth. As the sky darkened and the first drops of rain fell. That was the only time I could cry freely. I sobbed and cried out to her to come back. Screamed to the sky for them to replace her with me. But it was no use and I knew that. I knew I couldn't bring her back, as much as I tried and as much as I begged.
My clothes sodden, My hair in rats tails I got up. Hating to leave Kenny in this state. As I walked through the trees, the tears still flowing, I saw Cas. High up in a tree. I was about to sing out to her. Well croak out to her. When she saw me too. Her eyes showed sorrow. Her mouth showed anger.
'Go' she mouthed at me. I then saw why. I looked back to see Bex and Damon draining the life out of a late teenage boy.
"His family" I whispered as I crept along the barley seeable track through the forest. I could have taken the shortcut. I should have taken the shortcut. But I saw no need to at the time. My feet padded along the wet leaves and the dry ones beneath them crunched at my every movement. I got to the clearing. Where we had trained. Once laughed and thrown knives at each other. Hoping to hit them, but not in a fatal way. But that precision and care had gone to waste now. I leant against the old oak tree Alex and I would escape to. My legs gave way and I sunk down on to the wet leaves below me. I didn't care about the numbing pain from the cold that took over my limbs. I didn't care that my lips were turning blue. All I cared about at that moment was Kenny.