I'm not really sure what's happening. My vision is really blurry and I've relived my mothers death around twenty times. It's difficult to breathe and I'm groaning in pain. I don't know what they've done to me. The grounders. The only one thing I know is its night. The stars are up. I love looking at the constellations. But there is no way I'm picking up and small stars in the sky tonight. I may as well die now. The only person that cares for me is Amanda and I'm positive she'll be fine on her own. I close my eyes then quickly open them again. If I keep my eyes closed for long enough I see my mother getting floated again. I suppose I know my own weakness. Soon I end up with my eyes closed, moaning with pain. I'm too tired to hold them open. And I suppose now I've relived my mothers death more than 20 times, I'll be able to deal with it...
I open my eyes to feel a seating pain in my chest. I only just relies that I have more injuries. My dreams last night were not about my mother. They were about Jasper. Why do I care so much about him? He never did anything for me. My thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of sickness. My stomach hurts like hell. I can't think straight.
"Oh my god!" Finn yells, "she's here," He whispers to Clarke.
"They are doing the same thing to her," she says in a panic. I groan in pain, "get her down," she orders Finn. Finn runs around me and soon I find myself cut loose. The boy of the name Wells lifts me. I shout out in pain.
"Careful!" Clarke yells. She starts telling Finn something about medicine or something. I hear Wells sigh. I was going to say something but I feel like if I open my mouth, I'll be sick.
I think I dosed off. The walk kind of lulled me to sleep. I had a dream about Amanda being murdered. Even though she's fine. Clarke, Finn and Wells bring me into the dropship. I look around to see Jasper lying asleep. I can't contain myself.
"He's alive," I breathe. I try to jump off of the bench Wells put me on but I feel like someone has just stabbed me.
"Stop!" Clarke orders me. And for once I obey her. Lying back down on the bench I breathe. A familiar face appears over me.
"Monty!" I gasp, "are you okay?" I blurt out, "where's Amanda? Is she okay? And Jasper? Is Jasper alive? Octavia, is Octavia okay?" I sit up. Monty looks down.
"I don't know where Amanda is," he says quietly. What? Where can she be.
"What is you mean?" I start to stress. I can't lose her no.
"She ran off to find you and didn't come back," Monty answers me. No. I pull myself off of the bench but collapse. Monty grabs me and Clarke runs over to help him. The push me back onto the bench. I hate being helpless.
"How long have I been away?" I look at Monty. He shakes his head.
"Not too long, about two days. They rescued Jasper yesterday," he answers and turns to the sleeping Jasper. I have to find Amanda.
"Monty.." I say before he walks off, "promise me, you'll try and find Amanda?" He nods and wanders off. I try to stop myself falling asleep again.
"Clarke, why have I been going through my saddest moments when I fall asleep?" I demand.
"I think it's the medicine," she says. Medicine? I ask her why they would use medicine on me, "to keep you alive of course. They were keeping you as live bait. Same for Jasper. They were trying to catch us,"
"Will it wear off soon?" I ask. She just nods. She tells me that I will heal quicker because I didn't get a spear thrown at me. "What did happen to me?" I ask her.
"I don't know," she looks at me, worried, "however I know you'll be able to move around more than Jasper will," and she's right.
Later that night, I was able to move around. But not for a lot of time. I had around half an hour before I got tired and had to sit down again. I open my eyes and realise Clarke has managed to make me feel better. My dreams were not as horrific.
"Hey," a voice says. I turn my head and find the boy with the goggles lying on the bench beside mine.
"Jasper," I whisper. Before I can stop myself I jump up and lean over him. I hug him.
"Monty told me what you did," he says, "why do you care about me so much?"
I pull away, "because I'm an idiot," I laugh, "get better, goggles," I give him a half smile and get up.
"Sorry about Amanda," he calls out before I leave. I stop. Staying silent, I limp out of the dropship. I walk through the camp. There is a fire going and they seem to have food. Bellamy of course is being a leader. I roll my eyes. Then I see something that makes my blood boil.
"You!" I shout, in an accusing tone. I storm towards the boy that got my father locked up, "you dirty little liar," I shout. Then I recognise the girl who he has his arm around. She's the girl that bumped into me on the first day.
"Paul," she says, "what is she talking about?" Even her voice annoys me. She doesn't know what he really is. Paul opens his mouth to answer us both. But I'm already to angry. I leap at him meaning to injure. Bellamy pulls me back.
"You're not fit," he says, "this isn't a good idea. Maybe when you're not in pain. Get back in the dropship," I give him a glare and then I glare at Paul. If looks could kill... He would be lying on the ground. Bellamy puts his arm around me and tries to lead me to the dropship.
"Where's Amanda?" I pull away from him, "you can't have just let her go," I shout at him.
"I don't know where she is," he looks up to the camp and then back at me.
"Bellamy please," I stop shouting, "please find her," my voice breaks. And then I feel like I'm spinning and I trip up. Bellamy catches me and tries to force me into the dropship.
"I'm- I'm -fine," I try to say in a form voice but I can't. He pulls me into the dropship and I can't do anything about it. I sit back down on the bench and Clarke comes over to fix me.
"What's happened Bellamy?" She demands.
"I don't know," he says. And walks away. I groan in pain.
"I think you were out too long," Clarke explains, "stop moving about so much... You're not fine,"