8th August 2014
IT was the beginning. Beginning of what? The end. Most 16-17 year old's get to experience their life, experience turning 21, going out to clubs, drinking with their friends, gosh, even getting married and having three gorgeous kids, but I wont, I wont even get to witness my eighteenth birthday. No, this is not a book about supernatural things and how I can see the future and see that I am going to die in the next year or so, no, this is my story and honestly, I wish it would be a bout some hot vampire guy coming into my life and taking me away, instead this is a sad story about my life as a cancer patient. Shall we begin?
I guess it all started two days ago, the sixth of August, just like any other normal day, I woke up at seven o'clock to get ready for school. I grabbed my towel and the clothes I was going to wear that day and made my way to the bathroom at the back of the house. My mother was awake, like normal. She drove me to school each day before heading off to work. She was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for us. A think suit hung on her body. One hand holding onto a spatula, the other holding her phone up to her ear as she spoke to someone. When I got to the bathroom I noticed there was an odd color to my face. Usually I'd be a pale pinky-white, but for some weird reason I was a bit yellow and very, very, white. I shrugged it off and went over to the shower and turned it on. Because of our shower we didn't need to turn on the cold water, it was warm enough just on hot. I stripped down and placed my dirty clothes next to my clean on the sink. I then proceeded to step into the shower, but for some reason when I got into the shower the water burned my skin. I let out a scream as the water stung my skin. I began to feel dizzy and soon after, I could feel myself falling, then all I felt was the cool tiles before my eyes closed and blackness entered my vision.
My eyes finally opened for what seemed like seconds after I first closed them. A bright light shined down onto my face. My vision blurred for a second before focusing on the surroundings around me. It was as if everything was in slow motion. I tried to say something -anything but all that came out was a soft whimper. A nurse walked over to me, smiling somewhat sadly before putting a gas mask over my face and putting me to sleep once again.
I looked up at the doctor, a tear slipped out of my eye and onto the desk that sat near me. I was speechless - I opened my mouth to just say anything, but nothing came out, I looked at my mother, pleading her with my eyes.
"Are you sure?" Asked my mother, a single tear slipped out of her eye. I guess somebody here had to be the strong one.
"I'm positive Ms Swainson, the cancer has spread right through Emily's body." The doctor looked at us. I didn't notice it before but her face was quite serious, she was also old, wrinkles covered her tanned skin.
"How long?" I looked at my mother, I didn't want to know.
"What? Until she dies?" I winced. "I would predict about one year." The world stopped for me, everyone started moving in slow motion until they finally stopped. My eyes went wide and my breathing started to slow down and I felt as if I couldn't breath. I gripped the table with both of my hands as my world began to spin. People started moving faster and faster until they slowed down and talked and moved in a normal pace. I let out the breath that I didn't know I was holding in.
"Now I'll need you to take these pills..." She handed me a script for the medicine, I looked at the piece of paper, "Take two, day and night. If you miss a pill you will become very sick. I'll need to see you regularly, about once every two weeks, we will talk about whether you want to do chemo therapy or not later, just, relax, go to school, just chill out for the next week and a half."
"Thank you." My mother said getting up and out of the chair, she was sitting in.
11th August 2014
It was the first day of school that I would be attending as a young girl with cancer. I grabbed my clothes out of my drawers and got dressed into them. I heard a knock at my door. I walked over to it and opened it up. My mother stood before me, she looked like absolute crap. Black circles covered her eyes as if she hasn't slept since Friday.
"No, it's okay mum. I need to go, I can't be kept in my room forever." I walked past her and into the kitchen, unlike most days, the kitchen didn't smell like cooked bacon and eggs.
"I just woke up, so I haven't made breakfast. I could barely sleep last night."
"It's fine mum, I wasn't hungry anyway." I say on the chair that was against the kitchen island and pulled out a carton of orange juice from the fridge. Mum placed my pills next to the glass of orange juice. I put them in my mouth then look a swing of my drink. I barely used to take pills before so it was a weird experience feeling them go down my throat. I got off the chair and followed my mother outside to the car.
“Are you fit to drive?” I joked as I got into the car. When we got to the school my mother turned and faced me.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Emily?” I smiled at her before giving her tiny hand a warming squeeze.
“Making me late for school won’t change my mind. I’ll be fine. Steph will take care of me if anything actually goes wrong.” My mother’s face tensed. “Which it won’t.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car and speed walking up the empty pathway. It took me under five minutes to walk to my period one class, although if I was actually early it would have at least been ten to get to my locker. I knocked on the classroom door before entering the small room.
“Emily!” Mrs. Dunlop, my science teacher said quietly. I prepared for a massive lecture about being late like she always did to people.
“I’m sorry for being la-“ She cut me off.
“Emily, its fine! You can be late any time you want, and if you personally feel as if you need to leave the classroom, any time you’d like, you can go right ahead.” She then proceeded to walk up to me, trapping me into a tight hug. “I had a daughter with cancer.” I could feel her tears hit the back of my top before she let me go. I gotta say I was stunned. I looked at the people who are in my class. Each and every one of them was staring at me. I looked through the faces of the people. Steph wasn’t among them. She mustn’t be here today then. I walked down the aisle, I stopped when I got to my seat next to Ryan Brooks, a popular, athletic, two faced asshole that got moved next to me because I was ‘quiet’. I say down next to him and pulled out my book and pen.
“I guess having cancer has its perks.” I looked over at Ryan. This was the first thing he’d ever said to me since he moved seats. I didn’t know whether to be insulted, or laugh. I chose to be quiet.
The first two periods dragged on for what seemed like forever, and finally it was break. I was quite sat I was going to be alone today, Steph was my only friend and I’d relied on her to be here for me every day for at least two years now. I walked into the cafeteria and instantly a loud, squeaky laugh filled my ears. Steph. I turned to look at the direction of the annoying but pleasant laugh and then I directly saw Steph. Her blond hair was out today and was flowing down her back. She looked different today for some weird reason. Her blue eyes glistened in the light as her smile grew wider than I’d ever seen it been. I walked over to her and in a quiet voice I said.
“Hey Steph, why weren’t you in Science and Math today?”
She turned around, she seemed taller than usual. Usually we’d stand eye to eye but today she was towering over me.
“What’s up Cancer Brains?” She said laughing at what looked like Amber Leckie. Amber Leckie? I seemed to remember Steph telling me how much she hated Amber.
“What? I wanted to know why you weren’t in Science and Math today.” I said again.
“Because I moved classes dip shit.”
“To get away from your infested body, look, Emily, before you were cool to hang out with, you were actually half pretty, but now, I don’t think I’d be able to look at a drowned rat like you, twenty four seven. Toodle.” Her words spat out like venom. She waved her fingers at me to signal ‘get lost’. My chest felt like I’d been hit in it with a giant fist. ‘Best friends forever’ my arse. Steph’s high pitched laughter haunted my mind. I stopped near the student car park. I was out of breath and exhausted. I tried to gasp for air but my infected lungs didn’t seem to be giving me enough of the oxygen I so much needed.
“Hey, are you okay?” A voice said from behind me. I turned around to face Ryan from Science.
“No.” I breathed out.
“IS there anything I can do?” He asked, his eyes filled up with concern. He came up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, gripping them a little so I’d stay upright.
“Can you drive?”
“Take me home.” He nodded his head before leading me over to his car that was parked at least five cars away from where we were originally standing. He opened up the passenger door for me and helped me get into his car. I fastened the seat belt and was waiting for him to start the car and drive off.
“That was a really shit thing for Steph to say to you.”
“You must be so pissed off at her.”
“I’m more upset then pissed. Do you need the directions to my house?” As soon as I said it his face turned a bright red, he tried to cover it up by flicking his hair out of his green eyes.
“Uh, no, I already know where you live.” I looked at him strangely before saying okay. How did he even know where I lived? I’ve never even spoken to him until today so how could he possible know where I live? Surely enough, we parked in my drive way about 15 minutes later. I un-clipped my seat belt and began to get out of his car.
“Hey… Um, do you want to do something with me tomorrow? I mean, it’s during school, but I’m sure your mum won’t mind.”
“Um, sure, I’m not doing anything better.” I got out of the car and turned to shut the door.
“Cool, I’ll pick you up at around nine tomorrow morning.”
“Sure thing, oh and Ryan?” I said. “Thanks for the lift.” As he started driving off away from my house, I finally caught my breath.