small mercies

my story for the competition! Mercy is as shy as anything at school, but when she discovers a blogging website deep in the web, something about her comes alive. people begin to notice changes in Mercy- and when she is confronted by her brother's friend on the web, her life starts to take a dramatic turn. Mercy begins to wonder if she really lost herself when she found the website, and that starting that blog was one of the worst choices she has made.....

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2. Speak to me.

Running my mouse over the title, a description pops up on the screen and I press my face nearer   to take it in. "We know is a blogging website for teens aged fifteen to eighteen, which offers solace for people who feel they have no-where else to turn. people who feel unwanted, lonely, useless. we offer public chat stations, private chat advice slots, and- of course- a chance to make a scarily addictive blogging experience- which will earn you respect and major popularity.' scrolling down, I laugh out loud as I come across the population: fifty- six. oh well, it'll be more popularity then I have. I stop reading, ignoring the comments box at the base of the screen, and click on the title so that my screen bleaches black. it pauses for a moment, and I feel a tickle of excitement rise in my throat. will I finally be like those girls? like a female version of my brother? my cold hands slip over my eyes, concealing the screen... "Hello? user fifty-seven?" I almost jump out of my skin as a mans voice seeps smoothly into the room from my speakers. "speak to me. Tell me why you came to us." "I....I...." I whisper, my expression resembling a rabbit in headlights. that's me whenever anyone speaks to me, even my mum. "I'm just another person. I'm just like what you described on the website overview." my voice comes out blank and robot-like,  but I said something.

"okay..." he says, sympathetically. "can you tell me you're name, and we'll get you started on 'We know'" nodding stupidly into the dark, my voice comes out as a gentle squeak: "Mercy." "okay, 'Mercy'" he replied, testing out my name. I've always hated it too. Whenever bullies used to taunt me, I'd beg them to stop, and they'd screech in catty voices: "Mercy! Mercy!" before collapsing into fresh laughter. stupid parents picking stupid names- "MERCY! M-E-R-C-Y! I'M BACK!" heels pound the soft carpet on the stairs, and I know immediately the next week will be hell if I allow her to catch 'We know' on the screen. bending forward- in a desperate rush- a voice that doesn't seem to be my own hisses to the screen "hurry, please. she'll catch me otherwise. I'll shut the screen down and come back later." I slam the lid down on the keyboard just as he wails out pathetically "okay, miss." before rushing across the room to my bed, and snatching up a book that I had read a hundred times before. The tattered pages stroke my fingers like feathers, and I attempt to settle my expression as the door swings partially open.

"hey, Hun."  Mum smiles, leaning on the side of the door. "how was school?" I look up with my eyebrows raised, and leave the book on my duvet so I can approach her. "nothing's changed, Mum. its all the same." I whisper, ducking my head in fake shame and disappointment. all I care about now is starting up on 'We know'. she sighs, and pulls me in for a hug; she smells of chocolate and sweets- she obviously didn't go to the gym. "oh, Mercy. what are we going to do with you?" she groans, before pressing me gently  away. "I'm ordering pizza, do you want to come join me?" "where's Mason?" I reply- anything to make conversation with her. I never know how to talk to my Mum. "he's on his way." she suddenly laughs "he's been grounded for getting a head of year detention. I've texted him so he'll be picking up the pizza when I order it." Mum nods at me, awkwardly, before making her way back down the stairs. "pop down in a minute, won't you?" she begs, a desperate tone to her voice. she never meant for me to end up lonely, bullied and angry. with one last look at my laptop- I follow after her, and she tips her head to grin at me. it means something to see her smile for once.

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