small mercies

my story for the competition! Mercy is as shy as anything at school, but when she discovers a blogging website deep in the web, something about her comes alive. people begin to notice changes in Mercy- and when she is confronted by her brother's friend on the web, her life starts to take a dramatic turn. Mercy begins to wonder if she really lost herself when she found the website, and that starting that blog was one of the worst choices she has made.....


5. side effects.

Knocking lightly on the IT room door, I peek in through the frosted glass to see the dark, empty room. I decided that over period four and lunch, I could sit in the IT room and continue with the blog. with a feeling of being a rebel, I turn the door handle, and slip inside- being careful not to be seen by anyone. the navy carpet scratches at my shoes, and the silence is almost deafening- but I ignore this and head for the laptop trolley. I haul the laptop on the top of the pile into my arms, and over to the oval- shaped table in the centre of the room, before flipping the lid up... strangely, my 'we know' home screen pops straight up, as if someone was already on my account... wait, was it my account? My eyes scrolled to the top of the screen where the username was typed, and- sure enough- it read 'User57.' "strange..." I muttered to myself, before proceeding to the blog page. A gust of wind suddenly travelled over to me- billowing the curtains out in the process, and I hastily rushed over to close the window- abandoning the laptop for a moment. The window was opened up as wide as it would go, and there were filthy footprints skidding down onto the outside ledge. in the back of my mind, I knew something was strange- but I just assumed that it was someone mucking about. I returned to my seat, and began typing: "hey guys, it's Mercy again. this is part two of my blog. I'll be giving you advice, and general stuff that might cheer you up or interest you. okay, here I go...."


The school bell screams into the hallway, and I'm jerked out of the blog. checking the tiny clock tool at the base of the screen, I read the time: 2:10pm! "oh hell!" I growl- my hands leaping into action, and clicking publish on my blog page. people are starting to pass the glass window in the door, so I shut the lid on the laptop- swing my rucksack onto my back- and make a dash for freedom so that I merge neatly into the crowd heading for period 5. its loud in the crowd, and claustrophobic.

My head feels dizzy- like I'm underwater, so I swerve to the edge of the hallway, and fumble for the key to my locker in my trousers. what's wrong with me? my vision shakes suddenly, and a figure emerges..... five figures. by my locker. shaking my head, my vision focuses, and I see Taylor with a compass, grinding words into my locker door. "HEY! STOP IT!" I yell, slinging my bag to the floor and approaching her. she flicks her long, blonde hair back behind her shoulders, and looks at me with a spiteful glint in her eyes. "hey girls, she has a tongue!" she squeals "what you gonna do, Mercy? ask us politely to stop?" My fists clench at my sides- and I notice a warm, pins- and- needle-y feeling in my fingertips; I convince myself its from all the typing (two hours of it.), yet it's a different sort of feeling that is spreading up my arms to my head. edging past Taylor, I come to face the words that are etched under 'Nerd.': "Mercy is a skank." and "her dad left her because he hates her." my body erupts with anger, and I shake with it as they laugh. my dad left me and Mason when I was four- he was never a family man, and I always felt it was my fault that he had left- he couldn't deal with my crying and screaming. I wanted to believe he still loved me - but deep down I know he's probably grown up mentally and had new kids; he's still my dad though. they tease me, and now my family? breath tickles my ear, and suddenly Taylor whispers: "is Mercy crying? her daddy hates little skank-"  I spin around, screaming; it doesn't feel like me. it isn't. my fist catches Taylor in the face, and she tugs me down after her as she hits the ground. Taylor attempts to slap me, but I block her, and we wrestle on the ground- crying and screaming. there's people around us now- people trying to grab my top to tug me to my feet... so I give up, tears streaming down my face. A teacher tugs me upwards, yelling at both of us- and suddenly I feel like myself again, but in shock and terror. "SHE'S GONE CRAZY!" one of Taylor's friends yells, as another teacher runs to assist Taylor. I hear gossip that she's been Knocked out, as the teacher drags me away to the office.


Sitting in the back of Mum's Volvo, I can hear Mum talking to Mr. Clarke outside. she seems more shocked than angry. fighting Taylor felt like an out- of- body experience- more like something my other identity- the 'cool blogger'. would do than me. she suddenly stops talking to him, and opens the car door to get in. I tip my head away, trying to avoid eye contact.  the car rattles as she slams the door, and with a sigh mum pulls away from school, her head bent. I'm not sure what her mood is right now. We roll smoothly down the road- in a rush of awkward silence- until mum pulls up in a layby, and opens her mouth. "not once. not once in my life would I believe that I would be called in to pick you up early." she starts- her voice shaking as she tries to bottle up her anger. "-for knocking that poor girl unconscious." "SHE'S NOT A 'POOR' GIRL!" I scream- it's not me again, its this blogger girl- speaking for me. Mum's head whips around- a look of shock plastered across her face. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! NO-ONE DOES!" tugging off my seatbelt, I collapse down onto the back seats- all of my energy ripped from me as I stop yelling. Mum goes silent, and we just stay here- listening as the cars rumble past. how can I tell her why I hit Taylor when I don't know myself? maybe being on the laptop for that long had made my mind fuzzy- it was plausible. my thoughts are interrupted by a tone ringing from Mum's mobile- the tone she has set for school texts. I flick my eyes up blearily to see her open the text, and her shoulders stiffen. "you broke her nose, two of her ribs, and pulled out some of her hair- not to mention she has only just come around from hitting her head of the floor." she mutters, blankly. "what has happened to you, Mercy? where has my girl gone?" I don't know the answers. its a mystery to me just as much as it is to her. 



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