small mercies

my story for the competition! Mercy is as shy as anything at school, but when she discovers a blogging website deep in the web, something about her comes alive. people begin to notice changes in Mercy- and when she is confronted by her brother's friend on the web, her life starts to take a dramatic turn. Mercy begins to wonder if she really lost herself when she found the website, and that starting that blog was one of the worst choices she has made.....


6. and it begins

pushing the door open, I storm into the house and towards the stairs- my hands stuffed limply into my pockets. Mum had made me feel bad on the way home- crying down the phone to Aunty Sian about 'my perfect girl...' and 'I don't know what's going on.' she follows me through the door, sniffing as she drapes her jacket over the chair. "Mercy... go to your room." she calls- pathetically. I reply with an irritated "THAT'S WHERE I'M GOING!" and jog up the stairs to my bedroom. my mind is a demented concoction of anger, confusion- and- as I check my blog page on my mobile- excitement. there are thirty comments underneath- some of them chatting about ideas for my next entry, and some about this entry. happiness rises in my throat as I scroll down the page, and soon I grind to a halt next to the oldest comment; it was left on there almost immediately after I had published the blog page:

User58: so u picked the right laptop? well done.

I stare at the screen in confusion. did this have something to do with already being logged in when I went into the IT room? wait- was someone at my school on We Know? I press my finger to the screen on the button that read 'reply', and typed: 'User57: do you go to ineson high? @User 58' before clicking off the screen and flopping down onto my bed in the darkness of my room. I tip my head to see the time splashed on my alarm clock: '2:38.' I've never been home this early before. I know I have maths homework tonight, but to be honest- after the Taylor incident- I cant be bothered to do anything; except blog. after the two hour entry earlier- and what happed after- I decide I'll wait until everyone's sleeping, that way mum wont catch me on my laptop, and wont confiscate it.

but.... I feel... I feel irritable still. what else can I do if not the blog? flicking up my mobile screen again, I travel straight to 'we know.'- but this time I log into the private message boards, and read through the topics: 'upcoming bloggers..... bullying.... cyber bullies..... advice..... side- effects?...'  I press my finger cautiously to the 'side-effects?' page link, and watch as a handful of comments scuttle into view.

User14: this site is addictive- try to use it as little as possible. side effects come, and believe me- I know. don't give in to these side- effects. you'll regret it.

User27: so true! @User14. I've only been on this thing for a week or so, and I've ended up moving in with my nan because I punched my sister after I'd blogged for a few minutes. she was only being her ordinary 9-year-old self, but I got all dizzy and angry- so I punched her, and then I slapped my mum when she asked me why I did it. I cant stop using 'We Know' though, its amazing.

User22: they get worse than that @User27. weird dreams, lost memory, panic attacks.... well, that's what I've been told.

my cheeks flush with heat for seemingly no reason- just as a new comment flips up on the screen.

User58: you liars! We Know is a great website- stop scaring accounts off it.

its that account again; The one that made the weird comment about the laptop. wondering if he has replied, I save the page link and scroll back to the page before- my blog. there are three new comments, but they are just drivel about "please view my blog! it would mean a lot!" so I push the screen aimlessly upwards towards the previous reply I wrote, and.......

"user58: I won't reveal my identity or life on- may I say- a very good and approaching popular blog..."

I blushed stupidly- I'd never even received a compliment.

"if u wanna know- personal message me via your profile."

I grin to myself, and go to transfer my screen to my profile when... the familiar stabs of heels echo up the stairs and into my bedroom. I conceal my mobile up my sleeve, and lay down on my back so that my hair scrubs against my pillow before spreading out in a fan around my head; somehow my plait had come unravelled during the fight, and now my hair hung raggedly all over everywhere. I didn't really care though. without a knock, my door swings open to reveal my mother- tearful and a quivering wreck. she fiddles with the button at the top of her lopsided shirt- her head bent. "I... I... I need t... to talk to you." she stutters, glancing up as I pull myself furiously into a sitting position- my arms crossed. she seems hesitant at first, but eventually approaches the bed and perches gingerly on the duvet. "I... I've had a call from your headmaster.... he said that you've been suspended for 2 days-" "BUT I TOLD YOU, IT WAS HER FAULT!" I protest- my voice erupting uncontrollably into the room. I clap my hand over my mouth- shocked. I hadn't meant to answer her back again. Mum's cheeks flush softly pink, and she takes a deep breath in. "I know you're upset, Mercy; but you've got to take responsibility for what you did." she continues, avoiding eye contact. I knead the duvet between my fingers, before clicking my nails against my mobile as I hide my hand in my sleeve. it begins to vibrate, a tone almost as familiar as mum's shoe sounds starting up and edging into audible volume. Mum's head snaps up- a shocked expression plastered on her face, even though the tone is now fading back into my sleeve. its just a text message; I only recognise the ring tone from the junk messages that attack and clog up my phone every day. "what was that?" she asked- but before I could react she pounced on the bulge in my sleeve. I attempted to fight her off- pathetically at first- but my brain suddenly merged into a sickly dizziness as I tugged my mobile into my other hand and threw it up the bed. it felt like blog girl was taking me over again. I couldn't stop myself. my body thrust itself into the air, and came slamming down on top of mum as she made a effort to grab the phone. she squealed in anger as we tumbled to the ground together- but I could barely hear it as I ended up leaping on top of mum- pinning her down to the carpet. "GET OUT!" my mouth screamed- and my hands loosened around her wrists so I could roll off to the carpet and so she could leave..... the dizziness lessened and I collapsed to the carpet heavily- a strangulated screech escaping from my mouth and following mum as she retreated out of the room. everything was silent and the air was heavy. I was to weak to reach for my phone, so instead I shut my heavy eyelids, and let the carpet swallow me up into a shocked unconsciousness.....



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