When I wake my glasses are uncomfortable pushed to my face and I lie face down on the bed, I push myself up and look for my phone before retrieving it and turning the alarm off, I fix my glasses as I sit up and think back to the convocation I had with Louis last night, I straighten up my pajamas after I stand and push the charger into my phone before making my way towards the bathroom and brushing my teeth and hair, I let my hair fall down my back as I walk up stairs to Joshes room to wake him up, once I know his awake and starting to get ready I head back down stairs to make breakfast. Today’s my last day of being suspended and I’m thankful for it, not long passes before Soap walks down the stairs and into the kitchen, leaving his bag on the counter and starting his breakfast, I put his lunch in the big pocket of his back pack and zip it up.
“Are you just riding your bike to school?” I ask yawning and he nods, “Well make sure you lock the door, im going back to bed.” I say padding back down the hall and into my room, I get under the covers and shortly after hear the front door shut and the click of the lock sound before the gate opens and closes signalling Josh had gotten his bike, I close my eyes before there’s a rap on my window, they open but I don’t look, the knock sounds again and I lift my head to see Louis standing outside my window. I laugh at him before laying my head back on the pillow and let him knock.
“Ellen, open the window.” I raise my hand and stick my finger up at him before hearing a laugh, the knocking continues and I cover my face with the pillow before finally getting up and opening the window, I remove the fly screen and let him climb in before placing it back on the window. “Thanks.” He says straightening up and climbing down off the lounge.
“Did I not tell you last night what my mums profession is? I don’t think she will be too happy with you trespassing behind our gates to knock on her daughter’s window.”
“Well I guess we won’t tell her.” I laugh before getting back under the covers, he lies on the bed beside me. “Is this your plan for the day?” he asked and I pulled my arm out from under the blanket and pushed a finger to his lips.
“Shut up, im trying to sleep.” He takes the finger into his mouth and bits it before I pull it away and put it back under the covers.
“Where’s the remote, you sleep I watch TV.” I point to my bed side table and he almost lies on me as he reaches over the grab it.
“Shouldn’t you be at school?” he rummages around in my draw for a moment before he retrieve the remote and sits back.
“Yes but I was tired when I woke up, had no idea why, then I thought of you being here all alone and decided to keep you compony.” I smile, remembering last night and our late night phone call, my eyes still closed.
“Well what time did I fall asleep because I don’t even remember the phone call ending.”
“At the five hour twenty minute mark, probably sooner.”
“Well im still tired so like you said, I sleep you watch TV.”
I woke up to a bang caused by the TV, when I look over Louis has fallen asleep, I smile as I sit up slightly, reaching for the remote in his grip but when I go to pull it out his eyes open and he looks at me lazily, I smile.
“Good morning, sunshine.” He smiles at me, “Or should I say afternoon?” I raise an eye brow.
“I don’t care what you say.” He says bending from his sitting position and placing his head on my blanket covered knees, “As long as im with you, im fine with it being morning, noon or eve.” I don’t reply and soon he sits back in his original position, “Why are your parents so surprised when I come over?” my eyes widen at his unexpected question and I let out a small laugh.
“Because they think im lesbian.” He gapes at me, “They think because I don’t act like a girl and do girly thing that it’s because I don’t want to be one and that I want to date them.” he laughs slightly, “Also because im the only one out of all the friends my parents have met that hasn’t had a boyfriend.” His eyes widen.
“Never had a boyfriend?” I shake my head, looking away now embarrassed. “Not even like the one you would have in primary school where you run around the playground stealing kisses from one another.” I shake my head again. “You understand there are plenty of people who like you right.”
“Like who?” he shrugs.
“That Flynn, everyone can see he likes you. Except maybe you.”
“Flynn’s like a brother to me and he knows that.”
“He might know that but secretly, he wishes you didn’t think like that.”
“Well Flynn is one example.” I look at him.
“Harry.” He tells me, I scoff.
“Harry does not like me.”
“He does, he just doesn’t know how to show it.”
“Harry fucks everything that moves.” I frown, “I didn’t mean to swear.”
“Why don’t you swear in front of me?” I don’t look at him, finding the TV extremely interesting as I try to avoid his eyes, “Do you want another example?” I shake my head. “Why do you not consider yourself likeable?”
“Because im not.” I get out of the bed and go towards the door, stepping out into the hall way and going towards the kitchen, why do we always end up talking about me? I’d rather talk about him, I’d rather talk about bugs then me, anything but me. I open the pantry and grab out a box of cereal, heading to the fridge I grab the milk then a bowl from the cupboard. As I pour the milk into the bowl of corn flacks I feel Louis’ presence behind me, once im finished I grab a spoon from the draw and lean against the counter as I eat it.
“Ellen.” I don’t reply as I continue to eat, “Im sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He now stands beside me, I study the bench in front of me as I feel his eyes burn a hole in the side of my head, “Can I ask you something?” I shrug taking another mouth full from my spoon, “Do you like me?” I chock on the food, sadly I swallowed as he asked, I turn placing the bowl on the bench and holding onto the counter as I continue to cough trying to swallow the food. “Are you okay?” he asks a hand on my back, concern in his voice.
“I-I’m fine.” I close my eyes, the coughing fit now over as I stay looking at the floor, holding onto the bench, why did he have to ask that of all questions, do I tell the truth? Lie to him? Why is he asking me anyway? “What makes you ask that?” I ask slowly rising, he just looks at me, I raise an eye brow at him.
“Do you?” his voice more forceful.
“Why?” he looks away from me before answering.
“Because I like you, Ellen.” his eyes meet my wide ones, before I shake my head.
“No you don’t.”
“I do Ellen, I have since the day I met you.” I shake my head.
“You have to go, you have to leave.” His eyes look as if they have glazed over, there no longer there stunning deep blue colour but clouded with emotion, he doesn’t like me he can’t, “Please, Louis, just go.”
“Ellen, there’s a girl out the front for you.” Im told by one of the other waitresses, I frown wondering why someone would be here for me, when I make my way out from behind the bar Tegan is stood by the front desk, I walk towards her.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask, she turns in my direction.
“Are you an idiot?” she doesn’t look to pleasant.
“What?” my right eye squints slightly.
“Louis told you how he felt and you kicked him out.” I frown.
“How do you know?”
“He came to see me, an hour ago maybe, when I went to yours Soap told me you had already left for work.”
“Can we not talk about this?”
“Ellen, do you want your parents to say your lesbian for the rest of your life because you’re fucked up and won’t believe anything good can happen to you.”
“Don’t use it like that.”
“What? Don’t say you’re fucked up? Because as your best friend I’m able to, Ellen don’t let all the shit in your head keep you from that boy, he adores you and that’s more than anyone has ever done.” I look away from her before she continues, “Please, Ellen. Don’t do this, please don’t do this.” I look back towards her, “Ellen everything you have and are going through put that to the back of your head because your likeable and you know it, all the shit in your head that tells you otherwise bash it like you bashed Sarah.” I let out a laugh whipping the tears that fell.
“I don’t think I can. I don’t-“
“Don’t give me that shit, Ellen. You do deserve it and he doesn’t deserve to have you giving him mixed signals and as soon as he tells you how he feels to drop him like you guys went though nothing.” I frown.
“Was he angry with me?” she smiles.
“No, he was just wondering what was going on, he said he was confused and that he though you liked him.” she pauses, “I told him you do.” I took in a deep breath.
“I’ll call you later, I have to get back to work.” I wrap my arms around her, “Thank you.”
“Being my best friend.” I feel her smile against me shoulder.
“Thick and thin.” I smile as I pull away, we say our good bye before I get back to work behind the bar.